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To Tell Or Not...

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sissy12

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I decided to not tell everyone I know about my surgery.

I know people mean well, but I know negative comments will bother me and I need to stay positive.

 

I told my closest friend, she was supportive and very happy for me, her input is one I respect so it was a good feeling to be able to talk about my decision.

 

My family has been great, but my MIL is wanting me to re-schedule surgery because a big family affair is going to be 2 days later.

I do understand, she said she will be worried about me and doesn't want to have that looming over her head...but I'm going forward.

After talking with my boss, who was also very sweet and supportive, we both decided that my original date works best for both of us, so I have to tell my MI and she will not be happy but it will be fine.

 

June 20th...that is just three weeks from yesterday...insert happy dance here :)

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Congratulations on your surgery date and also standing your ground with your MIL. There will always be a big family affair around the corner, if your family is anything like mine! There is no perfect time for your surgery.

Good luck.

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Sissy,

I decided not to tell anyone except my parents and partner. I am scared that people will give me crap like "oh you're fine the way you are" or "such and so had a surgery like that and she died". I dont want to hear that crap!! I'm nervous that people that know me well will notice though. How long do you plan to keep this secret? Any tips or tricks for shaking off the nosey nancy's?

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Congratulations on the decision to be positive! I agree with you...I am not telling everyone about my surgery just those closest to me. I intend to tell them I exercise and eat right...should they ask. It will be the truth too. I am glad you are going forward despite having a big family event afterwards...good luck to you!

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Definitely think about who you want to tell. I made the mistake of telling too many people. I feel like people watch me now when I'm around them and I'm eating. It's annoying. Just think about it.

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Congratulations on your surgery date and also standing your ground with your MIL. There will always be a big family affair around the corner, if your family is anything like mine! There is no perfect time for your surgery.

Good luck.

Exactly, we have someting every month, and it;s always centered around food.

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Sissy,

I decided not to tell anyone except my parents and partner. I am scared that people will give me crap like "oh you're fine the way you are" or "such and so had a surgery like that and she died". I dont want to hear that crap!! I'm nervous that people that know me well will notice though. How long do you plan to keep this secret? Any tips or tricks for shaking off the nosey nancy's?

The girls at work will notice the weight loss, and of course the change in my meals, my boss suggested I just say yeah I'm on a diet, exercising and getting healthy and leave it at that. That is what I will do.

I'm with you, I don't need to hear anything negative, just support my decison and wish me well...it's not that hard to live and let live.

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Definitely think about who you want to tell. I made the mistake of telling too many people. I feel like people watch me now when I'm around them and I'm eating. It's annoying. Just think about it.

Dee,

I agree, I can totally see certain people watching every bite and every sip...I'm keeping it to myself and a small group of family and very close friends.

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Congratulations on the decision to be positive! I agree with you...I am not telling everyone about my surgery just those closest to me. I intend to tell them I exercise and eat right...should they ask. It will be the truth too. I am glad you are going forward despite having a big family event afterwards...good luck to you!

I think it's wise of you, and it will be the truth, there is no magic wand...we have to work at it. The weight loss will be obvious, but so will the positive lifestyle changes :)

I'm looking forward to this journey.

Good luck to you too!!

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I have been banded for over three years and have told only two people - my husband and best friend. Here are my tips for eating out with others and keeping the "nosey nancy's" at bay : (1) Be very careful with what you try to eat. Avoid the bread, potatoes and other difficult food or you will need to explain why your eyes are suddenly watering, you sound like you're being strangled when you talk, or you have to lunge for the table to make it to the restroom. I tend to stick to soup or very small portions. My husband is also well trained in picking up the signs that I need a moment for a bite to pass and will fill in the conversation until I can talk again. In a pinch, I have gasped something like, "Went down the wrong pipe!" and then excused myself to go to the restroom. Fortunately, this has only happened twice. (2) Ask for a to-go box as soon as you feel comfortable and take a good portion of your food home. If you do this, it is not so obvious that you are sitting there with an almost full plate and you can eat it at home at a pace that is better for you and the band. (3) Tell people that you are a slow eater. Which is very, very true with a band. (4) Tell people you are dieting. Again very true. I tell people that as part of my diet, I have cut out things like bread and potatoes. (5) Go to the restroom during the meal, if only to walk around and let your food settle. This will give you some extra time where you are not just sitting there staring at your full plate or your dining companions. Good luck on the upcoming surgery! It was the best investment I have ever made in myself.

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I have been banded for over three years and have told only two people - my husband and best friend. Here are my tips for eating out with others and keeping the "nosey nancy's" at bay : (1) Be very careful with what you try to eat. Avoid the bread, potatoes and other difficult food or you will need to explain why your eyes are suddenly watering, you sound like you're being strangled when you talk, or you have to lunge for the table to make it to the restroom. I tend to stick to soup or very small portions. My husband is also well trained in picking up the signs that I need a moment for a bite to pass and will fill in the conversation until I can talk again. In a pinch, I have gasped something like, "Went down the wrong pipe!" and then excused myself to go to the restroom. Fortunately, this has only happened twice. (2) Ask for a to-go box as soon as you feel comfortable and take a good portion of your food home. If you do this, it is not so obvious that you are sitting there with an almost full plate and you can eat it at home at a pace that is better for you and the band. (3) Tell people that you are a slow eater. Which is very, very true with a band. (4) Tell people you are dieting. Again very true. I tell people that as part of my diet, I have cut out things like bread and potatoes. (5) Go to the restroom during the meal, if only to walk around and let your food settle. This will give you some extra time where you are not just sitting there staring at your full plate or your dining companions. Good luck on the upcoming surgery! It was the best investment I have ever made in myself.

Great advice! I already do #3, 4, and 5. I have had to wrap my mind around NOT ordering a huge meal and have started ordering appetizers, saying I'm not that hungry or that I had a big/late lunch, etc. I told my family that I am trying to eat healthier and lose weight - ALL TRUE! At a party this past weekend, my neice actually mentioned to other people there, that I was trying to eat healthier when I passed on some sweets. Since the lap band weight loss is so slow - it's easy to keep the secret. I have only told my daughter and my out of state cousin. I didn't want anyone to judge me or what I had on my plate. No one else knows and that is what I wanted - it works for me! By the way, after my last fill a week ago, I experienced my first painful stuck episode with bread at lunch with a friend. I felt bad, but I totally told a white lie, saying that my esophagus was narrow and sometimes I get choked or food gets stuck - this is a real problem that 2 other family members have and had to have surgery to help the problem, so I claimed that one too - lol. Again, it worked for me!

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Speaking from experience, I kept my surgery very quiet too, in the beginning. Now I don't care who knows. I blab about it every chance I can when I am sure I won't bore peple to death. Most people see me and want to know how I did it...and let's face it, I am no miracle worker. Everyone knows I had problems in the past, and now they are just supportive of me. I still have people tell me to eat, eat, eat, but then I politely explain that I have eaten what I am allowed and they say OK.

As for your MIL and not wanting you to have surgery because of the family affair that is going to happen 2 days after surgery...get your surgery. I had surgery on a friday, went to a family affair (bbq with all the trimmings, fruit, chips, salsa, cake, ice cream, you get thepicture) 2 days later and went to work the next day.

Don't let anyone sway you from your goal. YOU MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOU!!! I did and I am so glad of it. Someone asked me the other day if I had it to do all over again, would I have the surgery? and I heartily replied, "in a heartbeat" and I am a self-pay. It was the best money I ever spent.

I LOVE MY LAPBAND!!!

zil

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