Unhappy And Banded

I recieved an email today and it reminded me that it has been four years since I started this journey. At first I was very scared, and then happy and looking forward to getting thinner and living a happier life. So far I lost about 30 pounds, then stopped because I was throwing up more than I was keeping down. After a year of that I finally found an other doctor out of town ( all lapband docs in my town have moved to bigger cities) and they unfilled it completely. Over the last two years I have gained back everything I had lost. I still have a few days a week where I throw up almost as much as I eat and yes I am chewing the food completely. I still excersice and watch what I eat but nothing seems to help me. I am still convienced that it has more to do with my matabolism and hormones but doctor know more than I do about me even thought they only see me 15 minutes every 6 months. I am stuck with this thing instide me that has only made my life more troubling than it has helped. I do not mean to scare or worry anyone else, but that was part of why I liked this web site so much was that I know there were others who were not happy before I got mine so that I did not feel like such a failure when I stopped loosing and then had to have it emptied. However when my two pre-teen daughters see me running to the bathroom to throw up every time I eat, and they start doing it also; it was time to just get fat again. they are worth more to me than being skinny.

Sherry