June 6

OK. I am now three days out from banding. Had to go to Outpatient and have blood drawn. Walking was not a problem, although I am still sore. I am afraid I am being quite a wuss though. I was watching my husband eat his lunch. Although I'm not really hungry, I found myself very envious of him. His food smelled soooo good. I know I have to do this. I need to do this. Weighing 310lbs is not a good thing. It's better than the 347 I started with when I first started my journey. But I still seem to be obsessed over food. I think I'm greiving over all the things that I will never be able to eat again. It doesn't help that every other commercial on TV is for food and usually one that I like. Sleep was better last night but not wonderful. Husband is sending out for his meals, but he is diabetic and sooner or later I'm going to have to start cooking for him. Can't afford for him to eat out every meal. I know I am going to have to find a creative outlet for my thoughts. Just not feeling mentally up to that yet. Here's to a better day tomorrow.