November 14th..The day i will never forget
It has been awhile since i last blogged.. since then my mother has past away..Pantcreatic cancer took her away from us.. she past on NOv 14th-sUNDAY AT 7:45 PM.. lORD REST HER SOUL..
SINCE THEN i FEEL like I have completely gaVE UP.. ON everthing...This lapband thing has frustrated me.. I guess I just have so much anger inside I have no one to release it to.. so i eat and i eat and i make myself sick to the point where i just vomit ALL the time..i just:( dont no what to do anymore...as much as i want to be thin.. i have no motivation in me to try to get thin..
...I want to remove this band.. but I heard its going to cost $5000 out of pocket.. thats wayyy too much.. what should i do??? my weight has been the same.. which is now 220lbs.. the lowest I got down to was 201..never even made it to the 100's...Im sooo disappointed in myself.. HOw can I let this happen??? What have I done???Who can I turn to???Im sooo lost and confused..and sooo SAD...
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