Hard couple of days

This week has been extremely challenging....I'm really stressing out about how unprepared I feel for this upcoming trip and as a result, my eating is all over the place. It's all the wrong foods, far too much snacking...a lot of poor choices. It's crazy how quickly you can swing from eating almost perfectly to finding yourself putting things in your mouth for no good reason. I find that I don't even enjoy the taste of most of the things I am eating anymore...the last thing I really enjoyed and which made me feel good was some really high-quality, excellent dark Mexican chocolate given to me by a friend which i waited a day to eat because I was low-carbing it the day before. Not only did I enjoy the experience of eating it but it gave me a happy feeling, there was a spring in my step about an hour later and I couldn't figured out until I remembered the chocolate! And I felt happy because I thought...how great is it that I can feel this happy after only a 1/3 of a chocolate bar! Well worth the calories/changing body chemistry/or whatever else.

But all of this other junk food has not given me the same spring. It's just stress-eating and it's unsatisfying and doesn't solve anything. Ugh. My coworkers keep telling me that I should take snacks from the office to India with me for times when I am hungry and there is nothing safe to eat. But I don't want to...not sure those snacks will even make it to India...scared I'd eat them on the way to the airport and feel sick about it. I'm only going for 2 weeks...no one has ever starved to death in 2 weeks. And there'll be plenty to eat in Thailand.

I'm glad I started this blog because it does give me a place to work out these issues and see where I am at different stages and realize that just because I'm happy about 219.8 one day (now 220.8) doesn't mean I've won the war. Still a lot of head work to be done here.