02/09/2006 depressed

I have been having a VERY tough 3 weeks. :think My sister and her husband are separating and getting divorced. Its been very stressful and i have been going back to my OLD habits. :angry I am very depressed and been eating and eating and eating and not exercising. I keep making excuses and i really can't get back into the swing of things. My uncle's Cancer came back and he needs a bone marror transplant and we can't find a donor. We had one but that person backed out. :think The doctor already mentioned that he will die if he doesn't get one. :mad: So lets just say the stress level around here is HUGE. I keep thinking Oh one more day won't hurt. Yeah well one more day has turned into 21 days. I don't think i have gained much which is good but i can't seem to do anything right. I want to loose weight. I want to become healther,I DON'T want to fail.

I keep dreaming about making it to goal. I am only down 57 lbs, My sister is already down 65+..I have a slow thyroid but i can't blame everything on that. I do get some protein but i don't think its enough. I have 127lbs left to go. I keep feeling like its never going to get there. I DON'T want to be fat the rest of my life. I have dealt with weight 20+ years and i can't stand it anymore. I want to have boyfriends. hell i want some FRIENDS.

Ugh...

I have a trip coming up in May. Its for work. I would like to hopefully be at least another 1-2 clothing sizes down. Right now i am in a size 26. I want to be at least another 25-50lbs down. I think i can do this if i stick my mind to it!

i need some encouragement. Bigtime.