11/5/2009.........
By Astrasmom
· 468 views
So I was banded on Oct 23, 2009. So far everything is going great. I have lost 20 lbs since surgery and 30 all together with the pre-op diet and everything.
I'm a food addict. I have been for most of my life. I eat because of stress. And GOD knows I've had alot of it in my life. And I eat because it's there. Since my surgery I have learned alot about myself. One great point is that I can take control over food. It doesn't have to control me. Sure I get my cravings now and then, but food is not as controling as it was before I was banded. I'm already starting to feel better about myself.
I know that I what to live. I want to feel better. And for once I want someone in my life to feel proud of my accomplishments. I want someone to be able to look at me and say "WOW Dawn. You look great!" I want to be able to do things with my kids. Because of being over weight most of my life I have missed out on many of the things that I should have been able to do with my kids. They are now teenagers and I want to do things with them before they move away.
Being over weight is like a skinny person being trapped in this huge Cacoon and wanting to get out but the Cacoon keeps over powering you. You try so hard to get to the outside by trying these "Diet" things and you get down 10 -20 lbs but find yourself slipping back down into the Big, dark, cacoon. You just never seem to reach the outside. I want to get out of this Big, Dark Cacoon, once and for all. I want to see what the outside world looks like. And I want to love myself. Not just like and accept myself. I want to be able to love myself and love the way that I look. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm tired of people staring at me because I'm fat. I want people to look at me because I'm skinny.
And I want to prove to myself that I can do something and Complete it if I set my mind out to do it. I don't want to be a failure of weightloss ANYMORE!!
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