TinaMari's Blog

Do you feel THIS way...!?

So, I’ve read various posts about regretting the journey that sleevary (yes I’ve created a word) brings. However, do some of you fully regret being sleeved or are you impartial to it? For instance, my journey to sleevary was quick fast and in a hurry. I never considered having WLS. In fact, I was one of “those” individuals whom laughed at the very idea of WLS and even said “I’d never do that”. Until June 2011 hit and I was diagnosed with Diabetes. That is when I said I HAVE to take control of my health and weight and must be proactive about it. And proactive I was. I was dieting, exercising and losing weight. Until, my cousin told me about a WLS forum. I attended not thinking anything of it. And the surgeon announced the fact that WLS reversed diabetes. Instantly, I said “sign me up”. I did not hesitate nor did I think about it. My insurance had a short process – 3 months, and since I had a comorbid disease the doctor said I would be approved. I did my research and sure enough it was proven in the research that WLS fully reversed diabetes. So literally, less than three months from my first WLS forum, I was on an operating table getting sleeved. I did minimum research, I knew about the risks, but to me, being diabetes-free far outweighed any leaks or any other complications. July 17, 2012 I’m sleeved. Told no family members, coworkers or anyone and went through the recovery process by myself. Thankful to God, I had no complications (and still do not have any). It’s January 2013 and I’m down 91lbs thanks to my sleeve and exercise (I’ve been a gym rat). 91lbs Horray!! One would be ecstatic right!? I look good (like a new person), I feel good, and best of all I’m diabetes FREE. After all, that was my goal for sleevary… Right!? Absolutely. One would think I’d be living the high life, I’m no longer classified a “big girl” I don’t have to shop at Ashley Stewart or in the plus size section(s). I should be happy. Shouldn’t I!? Well, I’m not. And here’s why… I can barely eat. I throw up sometimes but it’s very minimal. I feel most foods going down my esophagus, and although it doesn’t hurt it is uncomfortable. I can’t enjoy basic foods anymore…! Am I miserable? Am I unhappy? Absolutely not. I was never a food junky. However, do I believe I should have and could have lost this 91lbs without being sleeved? Certainly!! So why did I do this to myself!? Why did I take away 85% of my stomach? And now I can’t even enjoy the simple things in life... I can’t go out to eat with friends or on a date to a restaurant with a cute guy or participate in work functions that involve food because it’s embarrassing to be full off of three bites and have everyone sit and stare and wonder what’s wrong with her!? There’s just so many “normal” things that you just cannot be a part of post sleevary -- like enjoying a full slice of pizza, or popcorn at the movie theater (granted NOW I can eat popcorn but a month ago forget about it, pizza not so much) or how about a bagel with cream cheese or a full sandwich (and I’m not talking about a gigantic 12in sub just a measly homemade sandwich with two slices of bread), or how about indulging in thanksgiving dinner or eating a snickers candy bar without feeling stuffed or eating more than 1 egg or to have to chew EVERYTHING to a paste-like consistency before you swallow. The list goes on… Two of my friends know about my sleeve, and one is overweight. She is so excited to be sleeved and I told her if you do not have any medical problems it is not worth everything that you are giving up. Sure, you are skinny but is it worth the basic joys of life!? To some it is. To others it is not. To me, a person formerly (I love that word) living with a horrid debilitating disease YES it’s worth it! With that being said, I DO NOT regret my sleeve. And I thank God that I have not and prayerfully will not in the future have any complications. I just caution those whom are out there to try to lose weight naturally (unless you have severe health problems) and truly think about whether the sleeve is worth you losing your basic liberties (whatever they maybe)…! But, I can and will say. I love my sleeve. I love my surgeon and I love God for allowing me to become insulin and finger prinking free! However, I do wish that I would have taken control of my health BEFORE I became diagnosed with diabetes. Had I had any inkling that I was even close to that diagnosis of that dreadful disease (and I don’t care what people say, IN MY OPINION, that disease is like being diagnosed with HIV it is just awful – don’t even get me started on how life altering living as a diabetic is and how depressed I was… Ugh!) I would have ran to the nearest gym and stopped all the ice cream and soda (because that’s all I used to eat) cold turkey!! All I am saying is… Think about it! Truly, sit down and think about whether being sleeved is right for YOU! If it is, WELCOME TO THE LOSERS BENCH!!! If it isn’t, WELCOME TO THE LOSERS BENCH ALSO!!! You can do whatever you put your mind too! Persevere and rise to the challenge. God Bless you all~!!!! I love my VST-Family. SmoochieS~! TinaMari – Sleeved & Loving It July 17, 2012 – Washington Hospital Center.

TinaMari

January 23, 2013

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