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Never knew I wanted this so bad

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Its been too long

so I have not written in a long time, I was sleeved on june 9th and almost on seven days after surgery. it has been so up and down. my mood swings for one have been awful it seemed like everything that i have been unhappy about for the last few years of my life exploded out of me. its like i change the size of my stomach so now i change everything about me?? even my life's path??? I have been having marital problems for years and now right at this time in my llife right after surgery things have to be stirred up..I just dont get it..but atleast I am now really seeing everyones true colors, who wants to support me and who just wants to talk crap to me and be down right rude...so I am still very very happy about this decision to have surgery I am at the lowest weight in about four years, thats a long time....I went from 223 before surgery and now down to 203...wow its just so amazing to know that...I am still having pains gas and back pains and the med is helping but food is so hard to even get down I am trying to be on fulls but clears is where I will be at for a while everything hurts going down and I feel sick....my poor little boy who is 2 is also home sick with a horrible viral infection with fevers above 103 so I have been trying to get him to feel better along with myself but Ihave my mother in law who has been helping me since my husband still cant do nothing but sit on the computer all day and watch t.v. oh and to mention he has had no job for three years...thats just a little history to why I was having a meltdown when I came home from the hospital..he has never been supportive always calling me fat and just recently saying he hates me..it has been awful, but I know this is a happy time for me no matter what..okay enough venting for one day...time for my mind to rest and watch shrek with my little one    
A New Me

A New Me

4
 

I never knew I wanted this so bad

Hi my name is lauren im 25 living in san diego.. I have been pretty overweight most of life except two years in highschool when I would run every morning and night..After that weight just packed on more than ever. Bout four years ago I met my husband and quickly became pregnant gaining bout 60 more lbs yuck.. I could feel it my back, legs, feet, you name it ache all the time..worst pain I have ever experienced. Which is pretty bad since I am only 25...My job working in the nursing field is even more difficult being on my feet for 12 hours and constantly lifting people throughout the day. I honestly dont know how I have kept my job..I have to push myself everyday to get up out of bed and move move move...Depression has also been the worst for me, I have a huge negative self image all the girls around me are so pretty and thin and pretty, basically not me. But I am hoping that will change with this surgery, I just need a little more help than most people. Im not like my friends who can gain weight, esp baby weight and just loose it immediately..... So my surgery date is June 9th which I believe is like 21 days from now..prob going to be the longest couple of weeks of my life.I am so anxious and just starting to realize that I do want this so bad more than anything.. I want to be happy, healthy, energetic to keep up with my son..There is so much I havent been able to experience because of this weight load...I am so happy that I can read everyones stories, this will def keep me motivated...more to come..
A New Me

A New Me

1
 

Week 3 post op

today is offically the 3rd week after surgery and I feel great! I have lost 20lbs since surgery which I think is great. I did however hit my first stall, I weighed myself this morning and I havent lost anything in one week! It really bums me out Im thinking maybe since I am eating more solid foods, but I know that this is not all I am going to loose. I read a post and learned that our bodies are still trying to adjust and I just need to continue to eat healthy and exercise! I have been going to the gym walking for bout 30 min a day. I hope that is good enough for now. I am trying not to over do it. I also have been experiencing major anxiety attacks and I know why. I am not smoking anymore, and I cant emotional eat anymore! So I am trying to fill that void with going to the gym....I dont think being addicted to the gym is a bad thing, right? Its just so nice to wake up in the morning and be happy! I look at my face and actually feel like I am a pretty mommy. I never ever felt that way before. I just want to help every overweight person in the world! this surgery is a miracle and the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. It really has saved my life!
A New Me

A New Me

1
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