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Jenn1214's Blog

A blog by Jenn1214 in General

  • Entries

    23

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    49

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About this blog

The Journey Begins

Entries in this blog

Oh no! Plateau! (dun dun dun)

Well, I should have known I would have jinxed myself with all these positive entries. I hit a plateau a few weeks ago and I'm ready to scream! I started exercising more regularly and I thought that maybe I was suffering from some water retention. Then I went on vacation for a few days. My band was really tight on vacation and I was eating less so I figured "Yeah! I bet I lost some weight!" I came back home, hopped on the scale, and NOTHING. I wanted to throw it out the window. Not to mention it'

Perspective

Like most people who are trying to lose weight, I've hit some bumps in the road. My weight loss has slowed and even stalled a few times, and sometimes it's hard not to get frustrated. I will never go back to my old mindset of just giving up, but I do beat myself up occasionally when that scale just won't budge. Not as much as I used to, but sometimes I feel like I'll never reach my goal weight, and I have just so much farther to go. Even my weight loss of 43 pounds seems like nothing when I star

Portion sizes

The other day I was eating dinner with my fiance and I'm looking down at my plate thinking "Wow this is way too much food! Should I be eating so much?" Meanwhile it was about 3-4 ounces of chicken and 2 tablespoons of macaroni. To my post banded brain, it looked like a thanksgiving feast. Then of course I look over at my fiance's plate and actually felt slightly nauseous...I used to be able to eat that much, and it's hard for me to believe. I actually asked him if it looked like I was eating a l

It's OK to be hungry

I think this is a lesson that I have needed to learn for a long time, and will probably always struggle with. I have such a fear of being hungry that as soon as my stomach growls even a little bit, I'm ready to run to the kitchen. Not to mention I get very hangry if my blood sugar drops too low. This has been a constant problem and a huge source of my past failures. My weight loss had stalled for a couple weeks because I was grazing almost constantly. I decided to try an experiment where I wou

A little nervous...

In a few minutes, I will be picking up my dad from the airport to go to my brother's rehearsal dinner tonight. He lives in North Carolina and I haven't seen him since a few days after the surgery. I hit the 39 pound mark today and I'm curious to see what he will say. He has seen me at all my ups and downs (weightwise and otherwise) and I know he was very proud of me when I decided to go through with the surgery. Frankly, I'm pretty damn proud of myself too! Lap band surgery is not easy, no matte

Scale creeping up a little...oh no you don't!

I haven't been making the best choices lately and today I noticed that the scale is creeping up on me. Normally my next thought would be "Oh great, I've failed again. Where are the Girl Scout cookies?" This time I'm not going to let it get to me. Instead I'm thinking about what I need to do differently:   1. I've been slacking off on my water intake. Bottoms up! 2. I have to start journaling my food again. It keeps me accountable. 3. I'm drinking too many of my calories. Gotta indulge less a

Dropped another size...this is crazy!

Lane Bryant was having a sale so I figured I'd stop in since most of my shirts and jeans are falling off of me. As I stopped at the first table of cropped pants there was a size 16 on top of the pile. I thought "Dare I?" and then figured "Ah what the hell, it couldn't hurt." I took an 18 in the same size just in case. After making my rounds I went into the fitting room, my heart beating fast. I can't even remember the last time I could fit into a 16. I couldn't believe I was even daring to try t

Had a thought tonight...

Had a second fill on Wednesday. The fill nurse was very impressed with my weight loss so far (which is great for the old ego!) and asked the usual questions about portion sizes, satiety, etc. I had a little fluid added to the band so I was put on the normal post fill diet of 24-48 hours of full liquids and 24-48 hours of soft foods. No biggie. As I'm sitting here eating my pudding, it occurred to me that most people would probably FREAK if they couldn't eat solid foods for four days, but for

For the ladies...that special TOM

I don't know what it is about the band and my cycle, but everything seems to be really off kilter since the surgery. I have been using birth control for years since being diagnosed with polycystic ovaries, so my cycle has been somewhat regular. After surgery, I had breakthrough bleeding for the first time in years that lasted for almost two weeks. I was so scared I went to my GYN, but she said everything was fine. She said it was the IV antibiotics and the stress from surgery that threw me out o

Picture NSV!

This afternoon my fiance went to a christening for his cousin's daughter. We took some pictures and after looking at them later on I thought to myself "Hey, I don't look half bad!" It's amazing I actually let myself have my picture taken in the first place because normally I hide from the camera at all costs. Definitely an NSV for me!

Chocolate

It's getting to be that TOM and I'm sure some of you ladies can relate to the evil chocolate cravings we sometimes get. Truth be told, I don't really crave sweets like I used to but for some reason I pigged out on chocolate yesterday. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because what's done is done and I'm not doing to undo my weight loss in one moment of weakness. It just reminds me to be more diligent about what I put in my mouth and that one Hershey kiss leads to another (and another and

Water is my best friend!

Before the band, I was a serious coffee addict. Tons of coffee, Red Bull, soda and any other form of caffeine flying down my throat all day long. I couldn't understand why I was so tired all the time. The more caffeine I had, the more tired I was, so the more caffeine I wanted. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of exhaustion. I could literally drink a cup of coffee and then go right to sleep. After the surgery, my nutritionist told me to avoid caffeine, or at least replace what water I was los

Emotional eating win!

Last Friday I found out that my grandmother passed away. She lived in Oregon and I'm in NY so I didn't get to visit her often so of course the guilty feelings I always have about everything rose to the surface. I was happy to find out that she got the flowers I sent her for Mother's Day before she died, so that made me feel a little better. Still, the impulse to run out and stuff myself with every form of junk food on the planet reared its ugly head. I just told myself "That's not going to make

Picking myself up again

After a few well meaning kicks in the butt from my fellow bandsters (thank you!), I realize that I'm being very impatient. My weight loss has been a lifelong struggle and I will not win the battle overnight. The purpose of getting the band was not so I could wave a magic wand and instantly be at my goal weight, it was to give me a tool to help me where I've failed so many times before.   Besides, how will I learn anything if all I want is rapid results? I'm supposed to be learning how to fuel

No motivation...ugh

I knew this would happen eventually since this has been my pattern for years, but I'm starting to lose motivation. I haven't worked out in almost a week. Drinking the bare minimum water intake. I'm keeping my calories low but that will probably go out the window at some point as well. This all reminds me why I'm fat in the first place. Even losing 31 pounds in two months hasn't been enough to keep me going. Worst of all, I had my fiance take some pictures to commemorate my reaching 1/3 of m

First fill

Just got back from the doctor after my first fill. They were very impressed with my weight loss, even though I have been feeling frustrated lately, so that was very encouraging. Also it turns out that my port is in a totally different place than I thought! What I was feeling was actually scar tissue! Silly me.<div>  Now it's two days of full liquids and two days of mushies, then back to solids. I'm hoping this will give me the push I need to keep my weight loss going!</div>

Weight loss stalled...*sigh*

I'm a month post op today (yay me!). I've lost 25 pounds between the pre op diet and recovery period, but now it seems like my weight loss has stalled. I know it's probably a combination of being super sick with a sinus infection and subsequently being on 10,000 medications, not being able to exercise due to said infection, and taking in more calories (never more than 1200 though). Still, it's hard not to be frustrated when you don't see the number on the scale change. Not to mention my scale is

Solids tomorrow!

It's been a long time coming...I start solid foods tomorrow! As happy as I am to start eating like a normal (banded) person, I must admit I'm also pretty nervous. Eating regular food is what got my in trouble in the first place with my weight. I also worry that some of my favorite foods may not agree with my band, but if they don't it's something I'll just have to learn to live with. This is where the real journey starts!

Starting to hit my stride

On Monday it will be three weeks since my surgery. It hasn't been easy but I've made it this far, which feels like a great accomplishment. The first two weeks were hell on Earth and I seriously considered at one point going back to the surgeon and tell him I made a huge mistake. I cried a few times when I had to drink protein shakes while everyone around me was enjoying their meal. Every day felt like an eternity of misery that would never end. When you're as addict to food as I am, it's pretty

Great news today!

Today I had my 2 week post op appointment. I was given the all clear to start soft foods (yay!) and was told my incisions look "fantastic". I can also start exercising a little now too. My first soft meal consisted of crackers, feta cheese and hummus. Boy is chewing a strange sensation after not doing it for almost a month! I'm just happy things are moving along and I'm healing well. To all you bandsters still in your liquid diet phase...there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

My Story

Hello, my name is Jenn and I'm a food addict. I'm not really sure how this unhealthy relationship with food started, but it has been a lifelong battle. I believe my parents overfed me as a baby because they were afraid I wasn't eating enough, and their fears soon passed on to me. Some of my earliest memories are of my pediatrician telling my parents I needed to lose weight and to buy me toys as a reward when I did. Of being scolded in front of others when I tried to eat something I shouldn'

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