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First fill= success!

The first two weeks post op were great. Was never hungry, couldn't eat much, and was starting to walk a lot more. The 4 weeks after that? I was starting to dwindle. No excuses. Started eating things I shouldn't. Wasn't eating slow. I had no repercussions, so I was being a bit naughty. I was actually hoping for some! In my first two weeks, I lost 12lbs, the last four weeks, 4.5. Not much! I think I let it go to my head too much. "Well, i'm not going to lose weight without a fill anyway, so why behave?" WOW! it feels good to voice that. I was hiding from accepting that.   I had my first fill today; besides having to wait forever (due to a lazy secretary) it went great! It hurt a bit, am a bit sore in hindsight, but over all i'm excited! I have to do 2 days of liquids, then 2 days of pureed, then 2 days of soft food. If my body handles only having liquids, maybe i'll try it a bit longer.   Right now, as i type, my tummy is growling!     Goals:   1. walk 1hr, 3x/week 2. ATLEAST 1 protein shake a day 3. Drink tons of water! 4. keep a food log!
asteenho

asteenho

2
 

Feel like I've let myself down.

I told myself I wasn't going to drink until atleast october. I had friends in from out of town last night, and they were all drinking, and we were going to go out. First we went out to eat, and I did well, I got a salad. I didnt really feel sad that i wasnt going to drink. Until my friend said to me (the only other female in the group) "Allie, I wish you would drink." Because she didnt want to be the only drinking female. And I hesitated for a moment, but then buckled and decided to drink. I didn't drink too much, and took it really slowly, and didn't get sick. Today I feel really hung over, and sort of like i let myself down. But! i'm going to move on from here, and start over! again, this isn't going to open the flood gates. My reasons for not wanting to drink are because of the obvious calories, and how easy it is to drink too much. Also, when i drink, i want to eat anything and everything! I'm getting back on track, just needed to tell someone! :rolleyes2:
asteenho

asteenho

2
 

Home for the 4th!

I came a couple of days ago. I love coming home and playing with my nieces and nephews. I always have a hard time at home, eating out, and not exercising, but this time is different! I've been walking everyday, and even though i eat out, i'm making great choices. The scale says i'm down 5 more pounds, but we shall see!! Everyone is so supportive, it's been great, I think i'm getting addicted to walking!!! I'm gonna keep up the good work!
asteenho

asteenho

0
 

Two week check up!

I had a busy day today! I had three appointments. One with my therapist, the dietitian, and the nurse practitioner who sees the surgeons patients.   First, the therapist, Dr Peterson. We talked about finding good support around me, talked about my friend who I kind of had a falling out with, and how i thought she would understand the type of support I need, but she doesn't. We talked about being careful of the situations I place myself. Being careful at BBQs, Bars, etc. He understands the difficulty, because that's a lot of how people spend their social time. I told him about how I went to the bar after the volleyball game with my co-workers and I was proud of myself for not eating or drinking, even though my mouth was watering!!! He said something that will stick with me for awhile   "why put the twinkie in your mouth but try to resist biting it?"   He said I need to find new social settings, that I'm setting myself up for failure. I will start to crave those foods again if I don't abstain. He's right, I know he is, it was just hard to hear. So i'm going to keep meeting with him, because he helps me look at things differently!     Then I met with the NP and the dietitian. They both said i was doing great. That a 10lb loss is average for the first two weeks, and that my 12lb loss is awesome!! The NP said I could go swimming in a couple days because my incisions look great! I'm excited because I'm going home and I can swim with my nieces and nephews in Iowa! The dietitian and I talked about eating things that would fit on a picnic plate (you know the divided ones with spots for the meat and two sides?) That will be my portion control. I talked about eating a hamburger patty and corn on the cob and watermelon! She said it was all acceptable! But to be careful not to keep munching.   I'm scheduled with the NP for a fill on July 26th. Turns out I have an 11cc realize band. My first fill will be to 4ccs, which sounds awesome! ahhh i feel like i could write so much more, but you get the jist! So far, so great!
asteenho

asteenho

4
 

My first post op wedding!

There are obviously things I should have done differently. But I'm not going to harp on myself. I did better than I would've done 3 weeks ago. I ate my protein first, and only drank water. I've decided to give up alcohol for 4-6 months, we'll see how it goes, but at least holding off until October.   I ate some cake, and quickly noticed that it made me feel sick, my body wasn't used to that much sugar!! Haha! I actually found myself, or felt like my body was craving protein!! It's nice to be a bit more intune with my body. Well this was definitely a worthwhile experience, I learned the hard way not to eat too many sweets, and I also learned that even with an open bar, I'm able to abstain from alcohol. I definitely worked off the sweets though! I danced like a fool, and still had a lot of fun!!   Today I went for a 2 mile walk, and feel great! Monday are my first followup appts! I'm excited. I have many things to talk to my therapist about!!   LOVE!   Allie :smile:
asteenho

asteenho

2
 

Might as well face it...

...I'm addicted to food. (but i already knew this) So I'm post op Day 10, and am on pureed foods, but I'm not having any problem digesting anything. This has kind of been a tough weekend for me, so excuse my lengthy stories. First, hung out with my friend Chris, and he was giving me a bit of a hard time about not even wanting to go to a restaurant with him, so he could eat. Saying "are you going to drop off the face of the planet now because you don't eat?" I laughed it off at the time, but this coming from a guy who was in AA for a bit (not an alcoholic, but wanted to better himself) and i didnt see him for the year he was in it! Some audacity! Then today, i went to friends BBQ, she's been good, really supportive. I put a thing of applesauce and a protein shake in my purse. I knew i might not be hungry, but I would want to eat, so I wanted to have good choices available. Pretty smart, i thought. It was soooooo hard. I had no idea. I ate my applesauce (although too fast, like i wanted to hide the fact that i brought my own food) and gulped down my protein shake. Those hotdogs and etc looked so good. I kinda pouted over at my friend, and she laughed and offered to let me have a bite of her hotdog. And I did it! And it was heaven. I also ate some other unmentionables :smile2:. So here I am, at the end of my night, feeling frustrated. I'm only post op day 10 and I'm cheating! Honestly, I did my research on this surgery, I KNOW it's only a tool, and I need to work with it. Am I being too hard on myself? Do I need to be like an alcoholic and keep myself away from those events, even though I love my friends, and I love my social life? An alcoholic wouldnt go to a bar, i shouldnt go to a restuarant, or a bbq. Maybe the more I abstain, the easier it will get. I'm not depressed, I still feel motivated. Advice?
asteenho

asteenho

9
 

Day 4 Post-Op, and maybe a little venting.

Day four,and I'm feeling great. Maybe a little too great? I actually feel like eating today. I've done pretty well sticking to my liquid diet (only a total of one week--so 3 more days) but today I felt the insane desire to chew. I wanted to chew something. I ate some soup, and my roomate had some yummy french bread, so i grabbed a piece and began to chew. I felt guilty and spit out every bite i took. I was worried for how it would feel later, but no issues. I could feel it go passed my band. So my swelling must be going down. This is just a road block. I need to behave from now on. No more bread. If i'm going to be serious about making the surgery work (and of course it will, and I will) i need to get my act together. I don't feel hungry, it must be all this "head hunger" thing going around. I've been having to force myself to eat, because even the thought of food made me feel nauseated. Now it doesnt make me feel nauseated and it's like i miss it. I'm not hungry, just bored. I CAN DO THIS! How is everyone else dealing with it?
asteenho

asteenho

2
 

Surgery Day!

I wanted to write a note (it might not be quick) about my day, to update those that love me. I got to the hospital today around 7am, to be in surgery at 830am. I was ready. I didn't feel nervous, i felt prepared. Thank God for that peace. I knew I was in a good place, and I trust this institute to take good care of me. When they called my name, I was told mom couldn't come back to pre-op with me right away. It made me a little bit nervous, but I know she will be back eventually. After saying a quick goodbye and trying not to cry because my mom's tears were breaking my heart, i followed the nurse to my room. Then, I get dressed, peed in a cup (to prove I'm not pregnant), and was asked a bunch of questions. They started my IV (which didn't hurt at all, thank you lidocaine), and give me a shot of heparin! That shot is no joke! It BURNS! Then an anesthesiologist came in with a research project prospect which promises to help with my pain, came in and discussed the "tap block" study with me. The tap block is something I'd seen with my c-section patients, and it's been proven to be really good for incisional pain. The study was to see if this procedure would work with my type of surgery. I would either get normal saline injected, or actual medicine. He said that even patients with the normal saline injected have improved pain management. So, needless to say, i signed up for that! Next the anesthesiologist who was going to intubate me came in. I knew him! He's a Dr I've worked with many times at L&D. I felt so relieved. I truly was in good hands. After some more medicine (anti-nausea) and the like, Dr Nagle came in and talked to me. He said that if I feel fine, He sees no problem with me going home. YAY! I wouldn't be breaking the rules, but could recover at home! I said another goodbye to mom (more tears) and it was off to the OR. I was given a cocktail of yummy anesthesia and was in another world. Next thing I remember I'm waking up, not able to breathe, with a tube down my throat, breaking my hands out of the "restraints" I wanted to pull the tube! I apologized to the anesthesiologist and maybe used an "R" rated word. He laughed. It's funny the random things you remember while waking up, and the loony things you say. I recovered for a bit, walked, and was able to go home (after given plenty of pain medicine). Now, I'm home, not feeling 100% but trying to take it easy and recover. Thank God mommy is here taking care of me!
asteenho

asteenho

1
 

It's 4am...

and I can't sleep. So here I am thinking. CRAP! i'm actually doing this. In 5 days I'm about to have a life changing surgery. I know that it's only human, but I'm having some random thoughts and doubts. Will I be ok? Will I be successful? Am I strong enough to do this? Is this the right choice? To which I can answer all of those....YES!! I know in my heart of hearts that I am making the right, and wise choice. Everyone around me is so supportive. I just don't want to go back to my old ways. 5 days...wow...I've been thinking about this for a year. I think it just finally hit me.
asteenho

asteenho

1
 

Pushing through..

I meet with a behavioral psychologist on a regular basis who works with the doctors who ready us for the gastric procedures. Today I meet with him, Dr Peterson, and I was in a bit of funk. I've not been eating well, and I know i feel different. Turns out that I've gained a few pounds, which actually only motivates me more. I almost felt like he was a bit disappointed. I know he wasn't, maybe I was just projecting. All this is, is motivation for me to get back on schedule, back on track, and push through. I'm ready for the surgery. I know that it's the right decision, I just need to stay motivated, and continue to make wise decisions! 3 weeks away!!!
asteenho

asteenho

0
 

Final Pre-op class

I was really nervous going to my final class, mostly because of the contents of my pre-op diet. It sounds stupid, but it's honest.   A little back ground info on me and my surgery. I'm a registered nurse, and work at a great hospital downtown Chicago. I'm having my surgery done at this great institute by an awesome doctor. So, I feel really prepared, and my conscience is clear related to my doctor and hospital. I trust this place, which I think can be half the battle.   So in all, i feel very prepared, and very blessed. So I went to this class very curious. I was curious about whether or not I had lost weight (because we always have to weigh in) and I was curious about the diet. It was a good day! I had lost 9 more pounds!!! The diet also isn't as bad as some that I have heard. They basically want me to do the atkins diet, HIGH protein, low carbs. Totally doable. I feel great lately, been walking tons, and talking to friends who are very supportive about the surgery. I'm in a good place.   next task: figure out my insurance related to my leave of absence!
asteenho

asteenho

1
 

In the Beginning..

I have a long road ahead of me, but reading other people's blogs on here is really encouraging. I have yet to be put on the pre-op diet, but have my appt. next week. I also have pre-op testing next week. It hasn't really hit me, but I'm sure when it does I'll be mess of emotions. I just recently got all of my insurance figured out. It's covered 100% which is a HUGE blessing. I just have to pay my $100 deductible. I feel very lucky. I'm down 10lbs since the beginning of the year, which is better than nothing, but still want to try to lose more. Baby steps! I know I'll be in for a rude awakening when they put me on the pre-op diet, but I know I can do it! On another note, my family is having a hard time being supportive. My brother told me the other day that the lap band is for "quitters". How harsh? He has no idea! This coming from an overweight guy who should contemplate the surgery too!! Are your families supportive? I would love to hear stories of how you've dealt with these problems!
asteenho

asteenho

2
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