I got to see my doctor today for my 2 month diet plan. One more month to go and psych evaluation next week. Yay! I am down 6 pounds and I feel pretty good about myself. I have discovered sparkpeople.com and it really keeps me motivated. If any of you haven't tried it yet, I would encourage you to do so. I have an app for it on my phone and it helps me manage my calories and keep me in line.
Just another month then the big decision times come. I am nervous but oh so excited! My daughter's babysitter LapBand done in March and looks absolutely fantastic. I can't wait!
I am officially 6 weeks through my supervised diet with my pcp and have 6 more weeks to go! Yay! Although, I am a bit concerned as I actually gained 2 pounds the first 4 weeks. My cruise to the Bahamas was a tempting way to sabotoge my diet, apparently. My weight at last weigh in was 324. The highest I have EVER been...well, not counting my last pregnancy. Very sad, though, because I am not too far from my pregnancy weight **sniffle, sniffle**. It's amazing how different I look in my head to how different I look in pictures. Eeeeeek!
Since returning from my cruise, I have tried very hard to be mindful of the portions that I eat as well as making good food choices. I have a couple slip ups, as far as pizza with the kids, but I am otherwise doing better and eating at home a lot. I'm not quite sure what the insurance company expects out of this diet plan. I freak myself out because I am afraid they will not let me have the surgery if I don't lose any weight. The only time in my life I seem to have been successful in taking weight of, that wasn't in the 6 weeks after a baby, was while I was breastfeeding for 10 months. Otherwise, I sadly fail.
In my house, I actually have a thin husband, 3 thin sons, and a baby. What I wouldn't give for their metabolisms! A lot of times, I am fixing something for me and dinner for them.
My nutritionist appointment is set for tomorrow. My insurance company would only cover it if I had diabetes, which I don't, but I feel pretty good because the consult is only going to cost $63. The nutritionist my surgeon's office recommended was $160. So, I feel like I have a bit of a savings and I am excited to complete another step in my journey.
I will be setting my psych evaluation sometime today, too. My husband jokingly told me," A nutrition and psych evaluation...I know which one you will fail." I laughed, "Yeah, the nutrition one... "hahaha.
My husband has really been a huge wealth of support. He constantly tells me I am beautiful and he loves me just the way I am, despite being twice his size. He has encouraged me to do this for myself and not for anyone else. When I feel nervous, he calms me down. I simply can't imagine a better best friend and partner in life. I read on here, sometimes, about husband's who aren't nearly as supportive or women doing it because of the way their husbands view them. It's sad and makes me want to clutch my husband that much more. He will never fully understand my struggle with food and weight, but, damn, he sure comes as close as he possibly can for a skinny man.
Okay, BMI today is 50. Blech. Can't wait to see that number go down. I don't know how I got here...well, I do, but don't know how I allowed myself to get here. But, I know how to fix it:tongue2:
Another day down, as day 4 comes to and end! Today was actually easier than yesterday. So far, day 2 and 3 have been the worst. I am not feeling as ran down or have the "starving" feeling as much. I had a protein shake when I got up, had a few bites of sugar free jello a few hours later, and another protein shake for lunch. I made (from scratch) chicken pot pie for the family and made myself a small chicken breast with steamed broccolli and carrots. It tasted so good! The chicken pot pie looked great.....the family loved it and I can only imagine what it tasted like. I am surprised that I have been strong enough to cook food and not even try it!
Anyhoo, another day wraps up and I am ready for the next day, as it is closer to surgery day. I have actually lost 10 pounds since the night before I started this diet. Probably water weight, but it feels good to already see the downward turn.
Goodnight, lapband friends!
Here we are, day 5! Just 9 more to go! Going back to work today on the diet was soooo much easier than last Friday. Day 2 and 3 were horrible for me and i really missed my friend, Food. I have found that today, as was the case yesterday, I am not getting the hunger pains so much. My body seems to be adapting well. I do look forward to dinner at night, but the steamed veggies and chicken are really irresistible after drinking protein all day.
I have lost 10 pounds since last Wednesday night and that is a great payoff and motivation for me not to cheat. I can't believe the amount of self control I have pulled out of myself!
My energy seems to be returning somewhat, too. I am not feeling weak and in need of an afternoon nap so much anymore. I do find that between 3pm and dinner is the hardest part of my day without food. That is the part of the day when my fuel becomes depleted and my body is calling for actual food. But, I will take 2 hours of not-so-much-fun fighting with my body over years of it!
And, so I push on.....:thumbup:
Dr. gave the okay today to move to soft foods. Yay! I had a little sushi with brown rice today for lunch. Healthy and also very yummy. Feeling good and ready for the weekend. My possible fill date is in 3 1/2 weeks. Exciting!
