Hi everyone, I just signed up and wanted to share my story... I'm going to my doctor in a few day but I'm very anxious so I figured maybe someone here has had a similar situation
So here it goes!
I was 16 when I was first banded. It was a hard decision after a childhood filled with ridicule and horrible self esteem. My doctor had never banded anyone under 18 but lucky for me sympathized with my situation and I went on with the procedure.
Things went GREAT! I was down very quickly to my ideal weight for my 5'10 frame and I finally felt like myself for the first time ever. I bought probably a dozen bikinis and loved them all. :mad2:
Then things got horrible. UNRELATED to the band (I'd like to stress that I was 100000% unrelated to having a band) I got very sick; necrotizing pneumonia (a flesh eating disease in the lungs) I was admitted to ICU for 20 days in a coma, almost lost my life, and remained in the hospital for about three more months. I was on my way to healing and things seemed great. I still had my band and because of not eating the whole time I was hospitalized, I was down to 120 pounds- well under weight for my height (yeah yeah not gonna lie, i LOVED it)
However, my band got infected as a result of the battle my body had just fought hard to win. My body found the band as a foreign body and tried to get it out. Needless to say it got very bad (as long as i had tried to keep it in...) and they removed it.
It had been 4 years since my band, and 3 years since my brush with death and I have worked my ass off in regards to diet and exercise and now find myself back up to my original FAT weight. I'm devastated. As I'm sure many of you understand I don't know why this happened, just like why I didn't know why I was overweight in the first place. Weight watchers, protein diets, nothing works... and I want my band back.
I'm starting to wonder if has anyone ever had a band inserted again after having one removed? Am I going to have my heart broken when I got for my consult? I'm 19, 5'9 and 240 pounds. (god i hate admitting that...) I was the same height and weight last time I had the band. The first time I went my obstacle was being the youngest person in Canada (at the time... not sure now) to get the lap band. Am I going to be the first to get a second band?? Can't I just be second for once, jeeze lol
I wrote most of this in the forums yesterday and I'm very pleasantly surprised and how incredibly nice everyone is here. It's so great to hear from others who have struggled... I've been feeling for so long that it's my fault.. that I'm just a lazy pig and maybe I don't deserve a second chance with the band. But in the close days up to my consult I've really been thinking hard about what I've been through. I have worked hard, I'm not lazy, or a pig. I've tried everything and the only thing that has ever worked was the lap band. I've been speaking alot with my mother, who is a personal trainer and in incredibly fit... my father is thin as well as my brother. Then theres me. I had to ask my mom if she knew why. Why am I the only one over weight in my family? What's wrong with me?
She started telling me how it's not my fault, but she has no idea why. She said there's the "X factor". She told me how she can work with her clients, get them on the same diet and excersize plan, and have polar opposite results. She's had many clients who have lost alot of weight, and a ton of inches, but has also had clients who have had zero change. We are the X factors Wether it's a bad motabolisim, genes, or just plan bad luck not everything works for everyone. The lap band works for me... and I want my band back!!
I want my band to
-be able to love myself
-allow my wonderful boyfriend to touch my stomach without wanting to pull away or suck it in
-I WANT A BIKINI!!!
-I want to FEEL beautiful
-I want to be healthy and strong to be able to hold my camera high for many years to come
-I want to be heathy, happy, and fit with out having to fight my whole life through...
I'm really going on a rant here haha I don't know if anyone will read it but I really just need to write this for me.
I'm a young, 19 year old filmmaker, just starting my life and career off and I deserve this. I've been mulling over the idea of documenting my journey, and finding others to speak on camera but I'm still not sure. I'm a shy person and am not sure I'm ready to share my story on camera.. but we'll see.
It's Friday and I'm going to take advantage of the gorgeous sun and head up north to the lake with my camera. I'll come back Sunday, and get ready for my consult Monday... FINGERS CROSSED! Hopefully all goes well and Dr.Tin says YES! I will be his first guinea pig for a second band if I have to (maybe even for free? haha I WISH)
Wish me luck lovley people, I'll be back on Monday, hopefully with a surgery date. I;m prepared to bust in and yell..
GIVE ME MY BAND BACK!! :thumbup:
