Well, here I am - deciding what to do. I am literally back and forth every five minutes. I feel like this is taking up all my thoughts. I can't focus on work or sleep after my consultation. I have so many thoughts. First I feel scared and overwhelmed. It upsets me to think about a foreign object in my body for life but then the alternative is much worse - staying this size for life. I worry that I may fail and I would have wasted my families' hopes for me. I feel weak that I couldn't accomplish this on my own. Where will I go if this fails? But if it doesn't fail then I will have accomplished something so great and will be healthy. I need some encouragement. I need some affirmation that this is a good choice for me right now. I need someone in my life that can understand what I am going through but there is no one. I am looking forward to talking to people here that understand and can give me some words from experience. God, help me to trust and rely on your guidance and leading in this situation. Please give me relationships that will help me through - whether I choose to get banded or not. Please give me peace and calm when I think about my decision. I need to know that my thinking is rational and sane and not based on over-emotionality. Please bless this decision and may your will be done.
