Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    41
  • comments
    100
  • views
    5,783

Entries in this blog

 

Well, it is offical

I have a date...finally. I am going to have surgery on 10/14/08, the day before my 44th birthday! I am really excited. The end of the first hurdle is near. I then get to begin a whole new chapter in my life. It is very exciting. It's funny that I don't feel nervous at all, should I? I am sure that will change as the date gets closer. Once again, I have been reading different forums and blogs and I gusess I need to get prepared. I need to get the vitamins and the protein powders and drinks. Most say they wished they had not bought so much, as their taste for things change so dramatically. I also checked out the recipe forum, people are so creative.   I told my parents that I am going to have weight loss surgery. My mom pretty much said "that's good, let me tell you about my back...." typical. My dad said NOTHING, which is like saying EVERYTHING! At least he recognizes that I am an adult and capable of making my own decisions. I am sure he doesn't approve. He is from the old school, just stop eating so much, and excercise. The problem is that is what I have been doing for the past 25+ years. Now I really believe my metabolism is so shot, that even when I do diet, my body senses it and shuts down.   Here is the list of diets I have been on since I can remember: WW-10+ times Jenny Craig at least 4 times NutriSystem at least 3 times Quick Weight loss at least 5 times Atkins diet 15 times!!! (I found an old diary) Some online diet, I cannot remember the name. Multiple Scarsborough diets, hollywood diet, zone diets, grape fruit diet, mayo clinic diet, cabbage soup diet, southbeach diet, slimfast, physician sponsored diets....and probably about 100 more I cannot think of right now. I have joined gyms at least 20 or more times!   So when someone tells me to diet and excercise, my answer is "that is what I have been doing and look at me!" I have been as low as 145 and as high as 275, I am just over this whole ordeal. It is time for me to do something different. I don't plan on getting the surgery done, then nothing. I plan on changing my eating habits, increasing my excercise program and becoming more active. I know you can't just have the surgery and hang out and wait for the weitght to "fall off". I see this as a tool and and incentive to keep loosing and continuing to get positive results.   The last diet I was on, was a physician supervised diet. I was placed on phentermine, which helped. I followed the food plan and the excercise regime and after 6 months I lost 4 pounds!!! Well, that messed with my head badly! I really had made the lifestyle changes ( I continue to excercise) and to have lost 4 pounds!!??:sad:   I just could not believe it. I have managed to keep the 4 lbs off, but I am just tired of doing it the "conventional" way. It makes me sick.   So on 10/14/08, I am going to do something different, and incorporate a healthier lifestyle. I expected to get different results.:thumbup:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Week One Weight Loss-10/24/2008

Okay, well, I went to the doctor yesterday. The nurse came in to remove the sutures. Luckily, I am someone who heals well and quickly. I have 5 puncture wounds, which have closed and there is no drainage. Part of the healing process is the itching, so that I will just have to deal with for a while. It is a good, thing, a sign that I am healing.   I was weighed, my weight when I came home on 10/16 was 275, yesterday at the MD office I was 257. I should be really happy about that, of course, but my crazy mind tells me I should have lost 25 pounds! I am going to have to get my head together with that. I mean 18 pounds in 8 days is awesome! But, my brain tells me it is not that great. One thing I have not been doing, which I need to start is to drink the 64 oz of water and step up my excercise. I love to walk, but I am not pushing myself as hard, but I do think I needed at least some time to heal and rest.   Another thing that has started this week are hunger pangs! :tt2: I did not think I would experience them quite so soon. I will have to look on the forum to see if anyone else has them. I am going to start eating mushies on 11/04, which I cannot wait for! I also have been dreaming about food, it is so weird. I dream I have eaten a ginormous meal and I wake up feeling so guilty, only to realize it was a dream! :confused:   So, there are several things I need to work on. I am definately going to go to the local support group on Monday and find out some more information.

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Week 4!!!

Wow it has been one month! I can hardly believe it. I have been feeling fine. I am up to walking 3 miles 4-5 times per week, more if I can get it in. I really enjoy walking outdoors, the air is crisp and cool, so pleasant. I live outside of Atlanta, so it does not get too terribly cold here.   I have not done my picutres yet! I have so many issues. I took some and compared to my "before" and I could not tell the difference. My clothes are literally falling off of me, but pictures really don't show quite how much I have lost. I need to get over it! So, I am going to have my husband take some pictures today and I hope to get them posted by tomorrow night. I also have issues with how I look, as in my face, I can see all of these "spots" and so my face looks crazy. Anyway, I will post pics tomorrow, spotty face, and all!   BTW I am now down 35lbs!!!:willy_nilly:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Week 3 weigh in results

Whoo Hoo! Week three is here. Drumroll please..... I have now lost 28lbs! I am so happy. I have had a couple of bouts with vomiting, due to my rapid eating habits. I really have got to remember to chew, chew, chew!!! I worked in the hospital as a RN and we would get a 10-15min break in 12hours, no kidding, so we learned the bad habit of stuffing a meal down within seconds! This is a habit that I am going to have to learn to break. The vomiting helps, because that is my least favorite thing to do is vomit!! OMG it is so gross. Another thing I need to do is get back to excercising. I only walked once this week, I am going to have to force myself to get on the treadmill tonight for at least one hour!   Well that's it for now. Next week is week 4 and I will post some progession pictures as well as blog.

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Week 2 weight loss results 10/31/08 boo!

Okay, I am at 2 weeks now and I feel pretty well. I have been walking 2 miles per day, and that is going really well. I am going to have to figure out how to walk when I go back to work.:thumbup:   I have been having a difficult time complying with the liquids only. I really need to get back on track. I have not been too bad, I have been eating mashed potatoes once per day. Even though I have not been perfect, I have lost another 5 pounds! So I was 275 on 10/14 and now I am 252! Wooo Hoo! That is a total of 23 pounds!   I relly wish it were more, but oh well, I will take it. That is all for now, gotta go!

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Warning!!! Politically incorrect thoughts and i believe in GOD!

Wow! What a week! I am first going to talk politics, just because this has been such a hisotric election year. (For the record, I am mixed race 1/2 African American 1/2 Native American.)   On both sides of the political specturm history would have been made, how could we go wrong??   Firstly, Congratulations to president-elect Obama, he overcame so many obstacles and preservered. I am so proud of him. I am a talk radio freak, most of the stations are very conservative and they are not happy with the country's choice. I understand, I was not happy in 2000 and 2004 with the presidential choice, but I had to deal with it. President Bush was the country's choice! I think we have a new oppertunity to begin with fresh, open eyes and become the country that we all know we are.:cursing: There was a caller on one of the conservative stations, who stated that African American people are not very self confident because (as a group) we have said we never would have thought we would see an African American president. My thoughts on that are two-fold. Firstly, the reason I would have not thought we could have an AA president is we could not even VOTE until 1965!:angry_smile: So we had that hurdle to cross first! One also needs to realize that our right to vote could not or would not have been a reality without the support of White Americans, who saw the injustice and stood with AAs, marched, were beaten, hosed down and murdered right along with AA people. Which brings me to my secondary point. President-elect Obama would not have won without the support of the White community. To be a politician is one thing, to be a politician and rise to the level of President of the United States is a whole other thing, no matter what race! So, it is not that AAs did not have faith in themselves, we did not have faith in the United States of America.   We were proven wrong, and thank God for that!:cursing:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Update My story I sent to someone thinking about RNY vs Band

attended an information session, here in decatur, GA in 2006, my weight was 247 at 5'8". I was 100% sold on having LAP-BAND®®®. I did extensive research (I am a Nurse Practitioner, by the way) and STILL was 100% FOR LAP-BAND®®®. Unfortunately, I let my dad and husband talk me out of having it done. Fast forward to Jan 2008. By then I was up to 267, this is after going on yet another diet, my fasting blood sugar was 119, I was put on metformin. There was a information session on 05/14/2008, which I attended the MD was Scott Steinberg, who I love. Anyway he discussed the LAP-BAND®®® and GBS. Again, I left thinking I am going to get the LAP-BAND®®®, of course! So, I did more research and discovered that the cure for type II DM, is gastric bypass! What???? I then began doing more research and found that there is a 99% cure rate for type II DM with gastric bypass. That is when I started changing my mind. The things I did not like about gastric bypass, was the malabsorption issues and the potential for dumping syndrome (I will go back to that in a min.) Anyway, I told my dad, mom and hubby that I had to do this...for me! I have BCBS PPO and the office people were GREAT! They gave me a list of things I needed to submit and viola! After my psych clearance, I was given a date. 10/14/2008, the day before my 44th birthday. On the day of surgery, I weighed 275, I was sooo nervous and scared. Everything went well. My recovery was quite painless. I did have to stay overnight, not too bad. Then when I got home I began walking 3 miles per day. I checked my blood sugars, and found after week 1 I no longer needed the metformin. I am almost 1 year out and I weigh....(drumroll please) 185! I still have a way to go and a lot more to learn, but I am on my way for sure. Some caveats: Protein: use UNJURY.com. It is the best tasting protein shakes you can think of. I have a cup of chocolate soy milk (I don't like cow's milk) with a scoop of the vanilla unjury and I really feel like I am have a milk shake every morning Vitamins, calcium and vit. B: DO IT everyday, if you don't you will have NO energy. I get my vitamin B12 and bcomplex from biartricadvantage.com They have different flavors of the calcium mint, chocolate, etc. Yummy! Exercise: DO IT, I must admit, I am not the best at this. I do yoga every morning and evening. I was someone who could not imagine working out everyday, but I do, walk, it will speed up your weight loss! DUMPING: DON NOT DO THIS!! :cryin g:If you eat too many carbs, it will happen. You will feel as though you are having a heart attack. Of course, I had to challenge this by having a HUGE piece of cake. Well, i dumped. What is dumping??? Basically, your metabolism changes, so when you eat too many carbs, as you know your body produces and sends out massive amounts of insulin. Remember, if you have gastric bypass your body does not absorb all of that sugar. The small intestine is bypassed, so it goes straight to your gut. This is like taking 5000U of insulin, very scary and dangerous. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, and I refused I was too embarrassed, it did pass, but I really really will never do that again. I prayed to HIM to let me get through it! Thank God for Jesus, really.

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Update My story I sent to someone thinking about RNY vs Band

I attended an information session, here in decatur, GA in 2006, my weight was 247 at 5'8". I was 100% sold on having LAP-BAND®®®®. I did extensive research (I am a Nurse Practitioner, by the way) and STILL was 100% FOR LAP-BAND®®®®. Unfortunately, I let my dad and husband talk me out of having it done. Fast forward to Jan 2008. By then I was up to 267, this is after going on yet another diet, my fasting blood sugar was 119, I was put on metformin. There was a information session on 05/14/2008, which I attended the MD was Scott Steinberg, who I love. Anyway he discussed the LAP-BAND®®®® and GBS. Again, I left thinking I am going to get the LAP-BAND®®®®, of course! So, I did more research and discovered that the cure for type II DM, is gastric bypass! What???? I then began doing more research and found that there is a 99% cure rate for type II DM with gastric bypass. That is when I started changing my mind. The things I did not like about gastric bypass, was the malabsorption issues and the potential for dumping syndrome (I will go back to that in a min.) Anyway, I told my dad, mom and hubby that I had to do this...for me! I have BCBS PPO and the office people were GREAT! They gave me a list of things I needed to submit and viola! After my psych clearance, I was given a date. 10/14/2008, the day before my 44th birthday. On the day of surgery, I weighed 275, I was sooo nervous and scared. Everything went well. My recovery was quite painless. I did have to stay overnight, not too bad. Then when I got home I began walking 3 miles per day. I checked my blood sugars, and found after week 1 I no longer needed the metformin. I am almost 1 year out and I weigh....(drumroll please) 185! I still have a way to go and a lot more to learn, but I am on my way for sure. Some caveats: Protein: use UNJURY.com. It is the best tasting protein shakes you can think of. I have a cup of chocolate soy milk (I don't like cow's milk) with a scoop of the vanilla unjury and I really feel like I am have a milk shake every morning Vitamins, calcium and vit. B: DO IT everyday, if you don't you will have NO energy. I get my vitamin B12 and bcomplex from biartricadvantage.com They have different flavors of the calcium mint, chocolate, etc. Yummy! Exercise: DO IT, I must admit, I am not the best at this. I do yoga every morning and evening. I was someone who could not imagine working out everyday, but I do, walk, it will speed up your weight loss! DUMPING: DON NOT DO THIS!! :cryin g:If you eat too many carbs, it will happen. You will feel as though you are having a heart attack. Of course, I had to challenge this by having a HUGE piece of cake. Well, i dumped. What is dumping??? Basically, your metabolism changes, so when you eat too many carbs, as you know your body produces and sends out massive amounts of insulin. Remember, if you have gastric bypass your body does not absorb all of that sugar. The small intestine is bypassed, so it goes straight to your gut. This is like taking 5000U of insulin, very scary and dangerous. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, and I refused I was too embarrassed, it did pass, but I really really will never do that again. I prayed to HIM to let me get through it! Thank God for Jesus, really.

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Uh oh!!! I think this is really going to happen

Okay, so I am sitting here at work reading blogs, posts, etc and I suddenly realize that tomorrow is my pre-op appointment. OMG!!! I got a little nervous, like a little shaky and a heart palpatation or two! So, I guess this is really going to happen!   I am excited and nervous at the same time. To be completely honest, I am looking forward to the time off. I am sort of a workaholic. I cannot say no to work, I think it comes from my dad, who ALWAYS had two, if not three jobs (mom didn't work). So, if I see an oppertunity to work, I jump on it. It is not because I need the money, I mean extra cash is always nice, but I do some volunteering as well. I think for me I need to keep busy. I am going to make a change, though, one of my "new" jobs is going to be excercising. I need to do at least 6 hours a week of some activity.   Wow, so tomorrow I will have to do my preop stuff. It is funny, I wasn't going to blog until after my preop appointment, but I just had this random rush of panic! What is up with that???:cry_smile:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Trying not to freak out

I am still in the waiting stage. :confused2: I am not sure if Shawna sumbitted the paperwork yet, she may wait until today to send it in.   I have been reading posts, blogs and watching Youtube posts. I am trying not to get too anxious about this. At this point it is not in my hands, I really need to have faith that whatever decision is made, I will have to accept it and go on to the next step.   Even with the surgery, I will have to make sure I follow the plan to the letter. I have to make a commitment, really to myself and know that I am doing the best thing for me.:tt2:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Today is the day!!

Wow! It has been such a journey and soon I will begin another road. It is surreal, but exciting. I am sooo thirsty, but I can't have anything, so I will just have to suck it up. I brushes my teeth this morning and I soo wanted to swallow some water, but I know in the end it would only potentiallly harmful for me. So I will just hang out, not much longer I will be going into the hospital at 10a surgery is at 12n!   I will write more later!!:cry_smile:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

The Road Not Taken By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;   Then took the other, as just as fair And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same,   And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference   Robert Frost

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Testing tomorrow

Sometimes I feel like I am in some sort of weird race. Really a marathon. There is so much prep work before having surgery, it gets to be a little overwhelming.   Tomorrow I go for an upper GI and GB ultrasound. After that appointment, I will see Dr. Steinberg and get a date. I have been on the forum reading daily and it seems as though most physicians put you on a diet. A liquid diet. Okay!   I obviously have food issues and so I am going to be challenged if I am placed on a diet. It seems as though the diet is to prep for surgery (attempt to make the liver less fatty). But I also see it as an oppertunity, albiet challenging, to start my new more healthy life style. There are so many unknowns. 2 weeks out of your life may not sound like much, but for me, a liquid diet for 2 weeks sounds impossible. I must focus on this as an oppertunity to change my eating habits. I need to become more aware of not only when I eat, but why.   I have read some blogs in which people are greiving the loss of their previous relationship with food. It seems as though there is some emotional pain with it. I can understand. Food is always there for me. If I am happy, sad, angry, celebatory, bored, enthused, food has always been there. Things are going to be different. My relationship with food needs to change from an emotional buddy to a tool. A tool which gives me energy to live to breathe...energy to develop other realtionships.   I am an introvert. This entire experience, blogging, posting my pictures online, is so different for me. I am not comfortable with people looking at me, knowing who I am and how I am feeling. If someone is actually reading this, , that scares me. However, I think it is therapeutic for me to do this. I need to become more open with myself and others.   So, tomorrow, I will get closer to the finish line. I will have my testing done, get a date and possibly a 2-week diet. "sigh". I will write more tomorrow after the testing. I am feeling pretty good right about now.:smile:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Testing done!!

When I woke this morning, I had planned on doing a quick blog before I went for the procedures, but I got lazy.   Anyway, the upper GI and the GB ultrasound are done. The GB ultrasound was pretty routine, I just laid there while she scanned my GB, Kidneys, liver and spleen. NO BIG DEAL. The Upper GI was fine as well, with the exception of drinking that chalky barium! So, you drink the barium, swallow it and the tech has you hold your breath. Well, then you are laid down on the xray table and you have to roll from side to side (they want to watch the barium as it goes down into the gi track). That was it. Now the warning you are given is that the barium will stick to the bowel, so you need to drink lots of water and eat a high fiber diet. I can handle that.:smile:   So, then I go to see Dr. Steinberg, I am all ready to get a date, I have my calendar, my hubby is with me, we go over the consents and.....NO DATE UNTIL THURSDAY:tt2:. Okay so the joke is on me. I guess the surgical coordinator person has to schedule the surgery.   While talking with Dr. Steinberg, we came to the conclusion, that I will be better off with a lap bypass! I have pre-diabetes and I am already on Metformin for it and PCOS, so whatever, I am just ready to make the lifestlye change. I am ready to make the commitment to a new life and a new body.   So while the finish line is still in the distance, I can see it. The most anxiety for me was waiting for the insurance approval.   OH! One more thing. We discussed my goal weight. For me I would be happy at 155-160. Well his goal weight for me is 136! We started to buck about it, but then I told him to let me go through the surgery first and then we can talk about it more. I never wanted to be a toothpick and I think for me 136 will be too small! That is 134lbs!!!   Soooooo overwhelming. I will write again on Monday.

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Stuff in the mail

Well, today I received the preop instruction packet from the hospital. I have to go for my preop on 10/09 and 10am. My surgery is on 10/14 at 12 noon, but I have to be at the hospital at 10am. So I will have to wait around for about 2 hours...Wow, it is becoming more real.. and I am excited.   :cursing:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Still waiting for a date...

Now I am conviced this is some type of marathon. It is also a test of my patience! I will hear (hopefully by Wednesday) about a date. As I apparently get closer, I am becoming a little more anxious. I have been reading the forums daily. There is an emotional component to not being able to use food as an outlet. So, I need to develop more healthy habits. Sounds good, right? Well easier said than done. I decided I may take up knitting again, something to do to keep my hands busy. At this point, I really just want to get it done and move on to the next step. I turn 44 this year, which I cannot believe! Time certainly has gone by quickly. I feel as though I need to catch up with my age. My brain is still only about 25!

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Starting Tomorrow

Well, I am going to begin my self-imposed pre-op diet tomorrow. I am a little nervous because I HATE diets..Why??? Because I fail at them miserably! LOL...hence, RNY surgery. I am doing this so I can get used to eating every 2-3 hours, detox my body from all the bad stuff I have been eating for the past year and I would like to go into surgery at least ten pounds less than I am now..so I am 274, I would like to go in at 264. It is going to be difficult, because of the whole diet concept. I have made lunch and snacks for tomorrow and my hubby grilled some stuff too. By the way, I am making him go on this with me as well. He is not too heavy, he probably needs to loose about 20lbs, though.   More tommorrow.....:rolleyes2:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Reading....

So, I have been all over the forum reading about what people had to do preop, especially with diets. I am definately going to go on my low fat low carb, high protein diet, starting Monday 09/22/08. It will be interesting, because I have not really dieted since January. I am a little anxious about it, mainly because it just makes the whole thing more real. I am 270 today and I would love to loose at least 10lbs before surgery. I need to "purge" my body of bad carbs, sodas and unhealthy fats. I have been eating HORRIBLY lately and I know it is because I feel like "this is it". I will no longer be able to eat all of this unhealthy stuff. I have been eating stuff I usually don't eat, like chocolate, hard candy, cakes, etc. This is even more of a reason to do a cleansing for myself. I usually drink 10 glasses of water per day, I have not been doing that. I try to walk 3 times per week, I have just been a total slug! 'sigh' I really need to get out of this rut. My husband just called and said we need to go grocery shopping. So, this weekend I plan on getting some stuff for him and the things I will need post op. I plan on eating a lot of chicken over the next three weeks. I don't like fish, so that is not an option for me. I do plan on eating plenty of beans, veggies and a limited number of fruits, most likely apples and pears and maybe a grapefruit or two. :cursing:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Reading....

So, I have been all over the forum reading about what people had to do preop, especially with diets. I am definately going to go on my low fat low carb, high protein diet, starting Monday 09/22/08. It will be interesting, because I have not really dieted since January. I am a little anxious about it, mainly because it just makes the whole thing more real. I am 270 today and I would love to loose at least 10lbs before surgery. I need to "purge" my body of bad carbs, sodas and unhealthy fats. I have been eating HORRIBLY lately and I know it is because I feel like "this is it". I will no longer be able to eat all of this unhealthy stuff. I have been eating stuff I usually don't eat, like chocolate, hard candy, cakes, etc. This is even more of a reason to do a cleansing for myself. I usually drink 10 glasses of water per day, I have not been doing that. I try to walk 3 times per week, I have just been a total slug! 'sigh' I really need to get out of this rut. My husband just called and said we need to go grocery shopping. So, this weekend I plan on getting some stuff for him and the things I will need post op. I plan on eating a lot of chicken over the next three weeks. I don't like fish, so that is not an option for me. I do plan on eating plenty of beans, veggies and a limited number of fruits, most likely apples and pears and maybe a grapefruit or two. :cursing:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Pre-op DONE!

Thursday 10/09, I had my preop done. It was pretty uneventful. I had to fill out paperwork, get preregistered, go over my medical history, vital signs and about 10 vials of blood. But that is not why I am blogging about it. :cry_smile:   You see, I am a RN and FNP (registered nurse and family nurse practitioner). I have been an RN since 1986 and a FNP since 2002. I am not used to being the patient. So it is so surreal! Everyone was very nice, and professional. I was just uncomfortable, does that make sense? I think it is because there must be some level of loss of control I have to deal with. People go into the health care system with such faith, so their anxiety level may not be the same as mine.   In medicine, there are not exacts and no gurantees. Even the most prudent phyisican, nurse, etc. can make mistakes or your body may react in a way not anticipated. So, I am really nervous about the surgery, anesthesia, especially. Again, there is my control issue!   None of these concerns will lead to my cancelling surgery, I just need to explore them and pray about it. I have a wonderful husband, who will definately take care of me. Even though my parents don't approve, they are supportive. My dad even offered to come down to help me if needed. He is soo sweet!:thumbup:   So, with 3 days until surgery, I feel excited and nervous at the same time!

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Pre-OP 2 days

For my preop I will only have to be on liquids for 2 days!! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!   If I am going to be a bypass, can I still be on lapbandtalk???

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Less than a month!

Well, It I offically have less than a month to go before surgery. I feel like a kid right before Christmas!! I am so excited. I told my husband we need to celebrate my birthday (10/15) and our 3rd year anniversary (10/30) this weekend! I think we will go have Itlian food at Maggiano's in Buckhead. I love Itlian and I don't think I will be able to eat it for a while after the surgery.   I had an uneventful weekend. Hurricane Ike hit TX, so I was watching that on TV. I hope and pray for those families affected. Of course, I have been keeping up with the politics. We (in the US) are voting this year. I am a democrat, so this whole Palin thing is making me crazy. I don't understand if someone is a Sen. Clinton supporter, they think that those same people would support Palin! I hope they don't think we are that stupid! Enough of that!   I do look forward to my new life, though. Last night I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my body! :cursing: I have not done that in a looooonng time. I tried to imagine how I would look 125lbs less...very difficult. I didn't feel as disgusted as I thought I would have. I think, because I have been so heavy for so long, I have just accepted the way I look. I am blessed in that, my husband loves me as I am. I do think he will also enjoy me just as well if I am smaller. I cannot wait to see!:frown:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

Lah De Dah!!

I am sitting here at work, watching the clock. I hope I don't get anymore patients. I am just really feeling tired. I think I am getting to old to work 12 hours anymore. I cannot complain, though. I do not stay that busy and I am able to get some of my school work done. But since I only have 30 minutes left, I think I will blog. I was just reading over my past postings and it makes me feel so uncomfortable to think someone besides myself is actually reading this. In a large group and superficially, I am fine with social groups. But when it comes to one-on-one discussions I just freeze. I guess sometimes I don't know what to say...oops gotta go will write more later......

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

It's been a while

It has been over a year since I blogged? wow, I cannot believe it. I am holding up okay, right at 165-168. I do need to loose more, but I have not really been working at it. I have had another issue, come up and I just want to talk about it a litte. I have been drinking wayyy too much. I used to be someone who could have 1/2 glass of wine and throw it away because I just didn't want anymore.   I guess I have a cross additction. I have been searching the internet about the topic and apparently it is more prevelant than I thought. I thought I was the only one. I am relieved that I am not. It started in 2009, I think. I would buy some 2.5 buck chuck from Trader Joes. It went down so easy and tasted so good, I just kept buying it, by the caseload! I knew something was not right, but I could not stop and it continued. I really noticed that I had been drinking at least one bottle of wine in December of 2009. I could not remember a day when I did not have anything to drink, crazy, right? I could go one or two days without drinking. But not a week and not a month. I would say to myself (just like the diets) "okay as of the first of the month, I am not going to drink or I am not going to drink until my next vacation. Well, that would never happen. I would keep drinking and drinking. I have now become an alcoholic, which is a bad thing, but the great thing is I was able to go to a meeting yesterday and with the help of AA, I hope to have a sober life. I am taking it one day at a time. I am sharing this because if you are having the same issues, weather it be alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, etc. I want you to know that you are not alone and can contact me at anytime, for support. I thought I had my food addiction kicked, but it just manifested itself in another addiction.

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

 

I did it!

Okay, so they are posted! It took me a while, because I didn't feel like I really lost that much, but I posted them anyway. Enjoy!:confused:

Bimbabe

Bimbabe

Sign in to follow this  
×