Waiting for my appt with surgeon - need a buddy

Do I really want to do this?

I begged, I finished all of the classes, lost a bit more than the suggested weight loss to qualify.

Got so healthy, every test is perfect... a little low on bone density (hey, I'm 70)

When the classes ended I felt ALONE, afraid, and lost the grip of eating right.

I have NO human support, nobody to discuss this with.  I'm having second thoughts.

I need to lose 60 pounds, after losing approx. 20 in 14 weeks, I feel like this surgery is the only way I can lose that much more.

PLUS... I am bored with eating the same foods.

I feel overwhelmed about the vitamins/combinations/time periods... I'm so confused

I've purchases the chewable vitamins for the first month (panic about the grit and taste), the chewable calcium (lemon tastes real good)

I've got the clear liquid protein drinks for those 3 days, it's unanimous online that ALL TASTE DISGUSTING.  I have a couple of extra bottles and I'm literally afraid to taste it.  I got the fruit punch flavor.  

The post-op food regimens...  

I will not eat egg whites, yogurt, sour cream, milk, cheese, tofu and so much more that fills up the sample post op meals.

I'm good with the choc protein drink (Premier) and broths (Savory Choice - delicious)

I'm afraid I won't know what to eat when the liquid only time is over.

Since the classes ended I've been eating unhealthy food, I'm afraid to weight myself.  Hopefully not as bad as I think. 

A week ago, Saturday, I finished a 5K, not bad for my age and bad arthritis in my knees, and some was slightly uphill, but I made it.

I haven't walked since then... that's a whole week!  I feel stuck.

Today I am trying to start getting back with the right food and using FitnessPal (I was still using it, putting in the WHOLE FRIED CHICKEN I ate even)

I need a buddy for this.  

I wanted to go to the beach and walk today, but I didn't go.

Tomorrow is a monthly event that I've done in the past and I DO PLAN TO GO!

It's a street caravan passing out food, clothing, toiletries, baby and pet items even to the homeless little tent communities just outside of Skid Row.  It's great exercise and it makes you feel so good for doing it.  I HOPE I GO!  All the clothes/blankets/whatever that they get are all NICE and brand new.  This non-profits gets great donations.  WE can bring things from a list they have.  I thought I'd go over the list and prepare/organize/buy something to contribute... we don't have to, but I want to.   This will be my first walking/exercising in a whole week.

I HAVE to walk 5 days a week.  I live in a crappy area and have to GO somewhere to walk.

I'm worried about the permanent change of eating for the rest of my life... I'm scared.

But at my age, it could be tomorrow or 20 years???

I want to avoid heart attack, stroke and diabetes.  I have NO family or friends to help me if I get sick, so I CANNOT get sick.  This is the number one reason for me wanting this surgery, so I can be healthy for the rest of my life, and stay independent. 

If anyone wants to buddy up with me, I'm good company (really). 

I live in the area between Baldwin Hills Mall and Staples Center.

Anyone close?

I thought I would start this to help me make it through and make the right decision for me and see if I can resume my enthusiasm and 'good behavior'

Thank you for anyone who took the time to read this