Why does the world think they can tell me I am fat? It is not like I don't know.

Today I was in the teachers' lounge and the gym teacher was wearing her heavy coat. The custodian was teasing her about being cold. She and I always joke back and forth b/c she is from Jamaica and always cold, and I don't wear a coat until at least December. Anyway, the custodian asked me if I was cold and I said no. Well this teacher says, "That is because you have all that extra flesh." I was so mad. I have told her that I was mad that another teacher handed me a diet on the first day of school and always comments on my weight. I really expressed my annoyance. She also has told me that I look like Roseanne and Rosie. The kids have picked up on this and I don't like it.

I have had people I barely know say things to me. What right does anyone have to say anything about my size?

Thanks for letting me vent, LOL

I would let her know you can lose the weight but she can't lose stupidity. When all is said and done - you will be thin but she will still be stupid!

Love it--I use that one a lot! My mom, who is heavy mind you, everytime I was around all her conversation was about my weight. My sister finally said, you know people deal with their faults everyday--the last thing they need is to be reminded of them! Though my mother was doing that because she does not want me to end up like her with all those health problems, when she heard that, she found better ways to express her concern!

I think this is so true. I live in a country where it's normal to be blunt about weight. It's nothing for a Korean person to publicly ask questions about how much you weigh, what you eat, and make comments that as a North American I find insensitive. But to them it's just how things are - most people don't mean to come off rude. The only difference here is that I live in their country, and so I have to adjust to the cultural norms; sorta the same way I would expect the woman from Jamaica too. Then again, since most Americans can be rude about it (as proven by posts here), she probably doesn't think she is saying anything wrong. If I were the OP I would tell my co-worker what she said affected me negatively. Perhaps if her behavior is called out she'll think twice about making comments in the future.

By the way OP, maybe I'm mistaken, but didn't you post about your boss telling everyone that you were having the surgery? If that was you, I feel so sorry that you have to work with so many idiots!

I posted how my principal announced it at a faculty meeting!!

It may just be a cultural thing. When I was travelling around Europe, it was not uncommon for europeans to comment about me being a 'big girl' and that was when I was only 50 pounds overweight. My mother-in-law is French and, while she's lived in this country long enough to have learned differently, her sisters are very blunt and I know they love me and don't mean to be hurtful. They just have the view that if you are a certain way then either do something about it...or accept yourself.

Reading Camryn Manheim's book was a big eye opener for me and it was at that point that I stopped being embarrassed by rude people and accepted that "So what...I'm fat. Don't like it, don't look at me."

Hi there! We can all associate with this experience. Let me tell you my worst story of a stranger's comments (I won't go into how much my "loved ones" have said over the years).

I was in a local grocery store one day. Its a store known for being frequented by health nuts. I was about 70 pounds into my weight loss, and was feeling pretty good about myself. I was in there to get a little fruit and some crackers. Now mind you, a box of crackers lasts a month! So, there was some issue at the register so we were all there waiting for it to be resolved and I started looking at the dark chocolate bars, reading the nutritional content. I wasn't planning on buying one, but was taking a moment to inform myself. The guy behind me, who looked like he had been a vegetarian, raw food eater for years said "you know if you are worried about carbs, you shouldn't be buying crackers". For just a second, I was dumbfounded and went to the place I always used to go when strangers made comments... the sad, fat girl. And then something in me clicked. I looked directly at him as said "Who the f*** do you think you are, and why do you think you have the right to make comments like that to a complete stranger. You have no idea where I have been, my personal history or what I have done to get here". He immediately went on the defensive and tried to make me feel bad. I told him that he was rude, and out of line, and that he should, in the future, keep his nasty comments to himself. He said, "fine, if you don't want to talk about it, then let's end the discussion". I said, "I never wanted to talk about it with you, and it's not in your power to end the discussion... you started the discussion, now be man enough to finish it". He said no. So I paid, and waited at the door outside, and when he came out, I followed him to his car, to continue the discussion.

That was the moment I realized that the power had been shifted back to me, and that I was finally in a place where I would no longer take that kind of abuse from strangers.

As for my family... when they say things, I always tell them that since I don't obsess on their weight, I think they should find a way to stop obsessing on mine.

Weight is one of the last socially acceptable forms of descrimination. That being said, I am not a "fat acceptance" kind of girl... I am a "human acceptance" person. Treat others as you want to be treated, or suffer the consequences. I always wonder if that rude man in the store thought twice before doing that to another fat person. Probably not, but I like to hope so.

Another favorite of mine: "Weight can be changed, but base personality can't. I can lose weight, however you are stuck with your awful personality forever"

Edited February 4, 201016 yr by kirafiki
forgot something

Kirifiki-- Good For you --- I am very proud of you !!!!

Thanks ,, I m just so fed up with RUDE-- it seems to be a national pasttime anymore .

Edited February 4, 201016 yr by cruzlady
typo -- again

Way to go Cruzlady & Apples2! Woohoo!

Thank You...

Here is my new favorite answer:

"Yes I am overweight, however, I have had lapband surgery to help me overcome that. Too bad there isnt a surgery to help with your bad manners."

I love Harper Valley PTA, the song as well as the movie. Now I want to find it and watch it again.