Ready to come clean - long
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I've found this site just a couple of days ago, and think I've perused just about every single post...archives included! What a lot of great info.
I've just started down this lap road, I'm attending a seminar tomorrow, and have my consult next week. A couple of years ago I was approved for RNY, after completing a 7 month Lifestyle Redesign Program, but chickened out a few weeks prior to surgery. Innards aren't furniture...not to be rearranged on a whim!
About that same time, I was diagnosed with type2 diabetes, and hypertension. At first it was a hard hit...no longer a chubby, jolly kid, but a morbidly obese adult with life threatening illnesses.
For the last year or so I've been really guilty of gross patient non-complience, I saw a shrink and that helped me realize a lot of my self-sabotaging behaviors.
But now I'm ready to face the music....
My dad died about 4 months ago, from throat cancer....3 weeks before his 54th birthday! My mom, who is 46, has heart disease, severe kidney problems, glucoma, and it isn't an exaggeration to say she'll be lucky to make it to a very "ripe" age herself.
I recognize and now fully appreciate what it means to me to have a parent die that young. My brother, who has 2 young children, still smokes! On my last visit to my dad's house, my dad was telling me that he didn't want to die for NOTHING...he said he'd lay down his life to prevent his son from going through his ordeal, and sparing his grandkids of what his own children (me and my bro) were being faced with. Well I confronted my brother right then and there on the front lawn having a smoke...my dad said he me from inside! (Much less drama then I make it sound, we're a pretty open bunch) I explained to my brother that forcing my dad to look in crystal ball only 20 years down the road and see his own son suffering....his own grandchildren saying goodbye to their dad...it was a slap in the face.
My brother promised to quit...he still hasn't. I was pretty peeved until...I realized....am I any different? If I choose not to make the changes that will undoubtedly save my life...what does that say about me?
I'm 26. I want to have a baby. I want to see my unborn children grow up. I want to survive a midlife crisis. I want to grow old with my husband. I want to live....
I want an adjustible gastric lap band.
Thanks for listening...it's been quite cathartic.
-Melissa