Venting, Ranting, Raving
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Hi Everyone,
I just need to vent a bit. This morning I woke up after about only two hours of sleep and had a practical meltdown. I haven't been having the best of recoveries. I had a bad reaction to the anethesia that left me nauseas beyond even the medication and dry heaving for the next five days. I finally had a day without a heave on Monday, but the nausea hasn't gone away. Absolutely EVERYTHING I put in my mouth makes me want to gag. I didn't get fat from eating sweets so all the Protein shakes are making me sick and I can't seem to get the taste of them out of my mouth no matter what I eat. To top is all off I have nothing but liquid coming out of places of my body liquid isn't supposed to come out of. Then there is the tighness in my chest and the lump in my throat, which the dr. tells me is me feeling the band and once the swelling goes down I hsouldn't feel that anymore. I vascilate between being hungry and wanting to gag at the thought of anything going in my mouth.
I just had a meltdown. I started hating what I had done to myself. I felt like such a failure for not being able to lose weight without this. I lashed out at the person who had been taking care of me since day one. I lashed out at my band angel from my doctor's group. If I could have I would have ripped the entire device out of my body this morning. Everyone keeps telling me, week three you will start to feel better, but here I am at day 9 and the light at the end of the tunnel is DIM DIM DIM!!!!