Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

SEX, SCARS & DATING!!!



Recommended Posts

OK - candid question from a single girl!!!

I am single and have lost about 26 pounds in the last 4 weeks since I was banded. I ran into this guy that I really like from my past and we have kinda started dating. He's an amazing guy and I know he would never judge me if I do tell him some day. However, I don't want to tell him - I've told noone! What do I tell him if he sees my scars when (before during or after) we have sex?? I have no clue what to say - they're looking really good and getting faint, but a couple of them are still a touch red and certaily noticable. HELP!!!!! i think we will be doing it this weekend...

Thanks Jen

218/192/130

June 16th

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told hardly no one about my surgery. Of course my dh knows, but other than that, there are very few. If he asks, just say you had a surgical procedure and you will talk about it when you can. He will probably drop the subject completely. Most men do...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oooooh la la.

Maybe he won't ask, but if you must, tell him you had your gallbladder taken out :)

(as a mother hen, I have to say, don't forget to use protection LOLOL !!!!!)

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow...yay you! Just say "oh I just had some laparoscopic surgery", shrug, act like it was nothing and move on.

I can pretty much guarantee you if you are nekkid 1) he won't be looking at your scars and 2) he'll have only ONE objective in mind (and it's NOT asking about your scars)

Have FUN!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, how the heck am I going to say this without offending anyone? Most people know that I've had 2 ports removed, and I'm left with an ugly hole where my port incision was. Here goes: My husband brags to his friends that his wife has an extra hole. THERE, I said it!

Point being - try to have fun with it. Tell him to play connect the dots. For some extra fun, draw some fake scars in fun places :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hey Lisa, does it still look like an eye?

You could always lie, and say you'd been wounded in a sword fight while you were a pirate. Or a Viking. Very romantic.

Or perhaps you could say something along the lines of "you know that sceen in Alien?" and just leave it at that.

but I still think honesty is the best policy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oooooh la la.

Maybe he won't ask, but if you must, tell him you had your gallbladder taken out :)

(as a mother hen, I have to say, don't forget to use protection LOLOL !!!!!)

Funny I was going to say the same thing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

in the heat of the moment why would he ask anyway.... And I agree with vinesqueen.. "if you cant be honest, should you be having sex with them"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL .. congratulations :)

I doubt he'd even notice the scars, as he'll be concentrating on other things, but the nurse at my surgeon's office told me that the lapband procedure is very much like the surgery for acid reflux disease, leaving pretty much the same scars. She told me if I was uncomfortable telling my co workers about the surgery, that I could use that as a cover story.

That said, I think I've told everybody and their Momma about my surgery lol - I'm so happy with it that I just want to share it with the world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont think it really has anything to do with honesty. I agree if you dont want to tell people...dont tell them. Id use and have used the line that I had my gallbladder taken out. I dont run around proclaming that I had my gallbladder out but if the situation arises that I am asked straight out I will tell them that. Its not about honesty, its about my privacy and things I would like to keep to myself.

If you want to do the "wild thang"...go for it!!! If you dont want to share every personal bit of info with him just because youre going to have sex with him then I dont think you have to...

Good Luck and omg COngrats on the amazing weight loss :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I rather like the suggestion to just causually say you had some laporsopic surgery. Believe me he won't press....and I doubt he will ask. Naked women.....willing women....horney male...nope i'mb betting he won't ask. But if he does if you say you had laporsopic surgery and aren't specific you are not lying. So if this turns into more than dating later down the road you didn't start off wrong by lying. In a relationship one of the most important parts is honest and trust....so be don't be specific and keep ALL your options open.

Oh and good luck this weekend ! :)

Melissa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am new here, but this post caught my attention. I am 29, single, and will be banded in Sept. While I haven't had a problem telling my friends and family what I will be doing, I can understand not wanting to make it a part of first date conversation.

That being said, I also think that before you let someone in your bed you should be able to openly discuss anything with them. If you don't feel 100% comfortable, just tell him you had laprascopic surgery. I wouldn't use the gallbladder, because that is an outright lie.

Oh, and the GYN nurse deep inside me also reminds you to use protection. Get tested, use a condom, and always be honest with your partner :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I dont think it really has anything to do with honesty. I agree if you dont want to tell people...dont tell them. Id use and have used the line that I had my gallbladder taken out. I dont run around proclaming that I had my gallbladder out but if the situation arises that I am asked straight out I will tell them that. Its not about honesty, its about my privacy and things I would like to keep to myself.

How is telling an out-right lie not about honesty?

I think that if you are going to share something as personal as your vagina that something small like your Band pales in comparison.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All the men I have slept with Not one has even asked.

Of course you know I'm joking.

When your relationship gets to the point you can trust the man with your intimate feelings telling him the truth should be no problem. As a male I would be a little upset if I found out that you had lied about it. Its an issue to help with weather he is in the relationship for you or what he can get out of it.

I tell people you don't have to like the House but the furniture inside is comfortable and thats where you'll be spending most of your time with me. The interior person.

But then again I tell everyone about the surgery when it comes up. I'm not afraid to admit I did something for me. to improve me and to help me live longer and happier. All the worring about who knows and who doesn't just adds stress that I don't need or want.

But its your body. These are only my thoughts and good luck with your relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×