It bothers me that I am receiving so much negativity from medical professionals in my area in regards to me having wls. I went for my appt with Psych last week and she said to me, in regards to surgery, that I have too many kids and have too much going on to be successful with the band. It bothers me and for the past few days, the more I read the forums, the angrier I get. I am 31, married, have 3 children ages 10, 7 and 5 months. I work full time, go to school and work a small part time every other weekend. I graduate in May and hope to have this surgery by the end of the year. I have great family support, my older children are very independent and helpful in the house, and my family life works like a well oiled machine. She suggest I give something up. Ever since I had my youngest son and returned to work, I wake up at 6 am and go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I have researched the band to the fullest, maintained my grades, cook dinner for my family most nights, check homework etc. I have started eating smaller portions trying to get my mind right for wls. It pisses me off that when a woman of color wears her many hats all we get is criticism. I do what I do in life flawlessly and when I set my mind to something, I get things done. I read all these threads and it bothers me that the only main discouragement other women not of color have gotten was their surgeon pushing gastric. When did 3 kids become too many. I understand I have a lot going on but that is the way my life functions. She asked what triggers me eating and I responded "When I get bored. But honestly speaking with my schedule how often is that?" Before I even considered lap band, I talked it over with my familyand figured how I can make it work for me. I really hate people telling me I'm going to fail when they don't know how I operate or what drives me.

I say to heck with that psych. You know you a whole lot better than that doctor that has never seen you before and probably won't after. If that doctor puts on the form that they don't recommend you for surgery, talk to your surgeon about seeing a different psych.

Girl, keep on pushing on and pressing forward! Don't let anyone discourage you.

Don't let anybody stop you from doing in your heart what you want. Tell that doctor you have the support required to be successfull and this is what you have decided. It isn't any reason for her not to provide you with a positive letter. Stand your ground. I'm sorry to hear that you are even getting this push back. My Psych visit was great. After talking to my doctor she said "This sounds like something you have decided to do for you after doing for everybody else for so long" support. This doctor sounds like she needs to go and see a Psych. Okay that might not have been nice, but where does she get off, saying this to you know how hard it is to even come to this choice. You will be alright. You march right back in there and let her know you didn't appreciate those comments and to be more positive and give you your dag on letter.

I seriously think you need to get a second eval...I mean really! This person sounds as if she had HER mind made up before you ever walked into her office. :wink2:

It sounds to me that you are an ambitious, intelligent, focused and driven woman - EXACTLY the kind of person what will treat the band as the TOOL that it is and not as something to do all the work FOR them. :laugh:

You are eating better, working out regularly, and your family is supportive of your efforts. You've done your research and you are an informed patient and consumer. :eek:

I say to H*LL with her - get a second opinion, and by the way - send her a letter informing her of how badly her 'assumptions' made you feel - she needs to know the effect her ill-chosen words are having! Stand your ground, girlfriend - I think you are READY for this, and I wish you all good luck and fantastic results!:laugh:

I appreciate all of your encouragement. If I get denied due to the pysch results, I will definately protest the decision. I am driven to get banded and have taken so many steps so far to help me in the process. I just get so mad that people try to quantify my lifestyle instead of encouraging my ambition.

It bothers me that I am receiving so much negativity from medical professionals in my area in regards to me having wls. I went for my appt with Psych last week and she said to me, in regards to surgery, that I have too many kids and have too much going on to be successful with the band. It bothers me and for the past few days, the more I read the forums, the angrier I get. I am 31, married, have 3 children ages 10, 7 and 5 months. I work full time, go to school and work a small part time every other weekend. I graduate in May and hope to have this surgery by the end of the year. I have great family support, my older children are very independent and helpful in the house, and my family life works like a well oiled machine. She suggest I give something up. Ever since I had my youngest son and returned to work, I wake up at 6 am and go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I have researched the band to the fullest, maintained my grades, cook dinner for my family most nights, check homework etc. I have started eating smaller portions trying to get my mind right for wls. It pisses me off that when a woman of color wears her many hats all we get is criticism. I do what I do in life flawlessly and when I set my mind to something, I get things done. I read all these threads and it bothers me that the only main discouragement other women not of color have gotten was their surgeon pushing gastric. When did 3 kids become too many. I understand I have a lot going on but that is the way my life functions. She asked what triggers me eating and I responded "When I get bored. But honestly speaking with my schedule how often is that?" Before I even considered lap band, I talked it over with my familyand figured how I can make it work for me. I really hate people telling me I'm going to fail when they don't know how I operate or what drives me.

Sis I am going to go against the grain and play the devil’s advocate… I will make a generalization and say one thing about seeing a shrink or a therapist they usually only have one hidden agenda in terms of the advice or questions they ask you; they usually make statements and ask probing questions to move you from where you are to where you want to be.

One thing I am seeing is the band is not the quick fix that I am really looking for. I now understand it is a tool and I spend a lot of time on the forum about the people who feel the band isn’t working for them and the slow loser one b/c there is a common theme the band is a lot of work.

She may have been trying to spur you on given your driven personality, maybe she thought saying gastric was better for you would kick start that same drive for weight loss as you’ve exhibited in other areas of your life? I don’t know? Maybe?

On the other hand she may genuinely not get how you are superwoman walking around and adding yet another burden or responsibility to your over booked calendar seems like a bad idea to her.

Think about it... there’s seeing a nutritionist, getting regular fills, check ups, blood work, packing food, measuing food, counting calories, watching your diet, exercise, will power, family, school, work, other activities I am sure you forgot to even tell her about and maybe in her mind the way a person like you can maximize their weight loss is by getting gastric bypass b/c you lose weight so fast and don’t have to worry about monthly visits, fills, etc.

I think maybe her perception was that you are determined to lose weight and with gastric it’s a given, with the band as the Dr. I spoke with explained it “the Band is this much help” and held her fingers about an inch apart her words were “if ALL you need is just a litttleee edge the band is for you”

I was disappointed! But I get it. The band is work....

The Psych. may have had her idea of what was best for you thinking what if keeping up is overwhelming and you don't get the results you want and deserve? What if don’t reach your goal, how will that affect you in the long run? Again I am just guessing here…

But let’s be clear if she says yes or no she still gets paid so what is her motivation (?) it wasn't to be mean to you... she could just have rubber stamped you like a lot of others do rather than really get you to think about this. Why else would she seriously, if not to make you stop and truly think about all your options?

Like I said just playing the devils advocate I don't know what was in her mind and I think the lapband is a good option so is Weight watcher, Jenny Craig, and Nutrisystem any weight loss plan works its about what you can live with and have success with in the long run. So in the end its of course up to you and I think your mind is made up and I say stick to your guns! Every time a craving hits you or you want to skip the gym her annoying voice will be ringing in your ear as you near your goal!!! I am excited for you can’t wait to hear your progress!! As the saying goes Success is the sweetest revenge!!!!

:smile::thumbup:

Edited October 18, 200817 yr by LastOptionAtty

I truly appreciate your reponse. I agree that I got a lot of education about the lap band when going for my psych consult. When I went to the grocery store last friday I did take longer thoroughly reading nutrition facts. I am in this for the long haul. Although my schedule is busy, I am prepared for this transition. What little family I have down where I live are ready to help and I graduate college in the spring. My boss is supportive and my company gives me 40 paid days off per calender year. I have plenty I have plenty of time to focus on my weight loss. I appreciate you adding in even more things that will entail me successfully losing this weight. I joined this forum to get as educated about this process as possible becauase I don't know anyone personally who has had it. I have a friend who works in the office I am going thru for the surgery and she helps alot about technical stuff but no 1st hand experience.

You are welcome :girl_hug:and I am glad you took my post in the spirit in which it was intended! I think you, like most of us here are smart, strong, focused, driven Black women who can and have done just about anything we put our minds to so you are 110% right you can do this!

P.S.Sorry for the typos I was on my way out of the office running late for my bus but I am glad you got the point from my long winded self:biggrin::smile2: