Just curious. Is anyone keeping the fact they're having the band surgery from friends, relatives, or co-workers?

I have told my mom and a couple of close friends. I am keeping it from my father because he's very judgemental and thinks people who can't keep weight off lack self control. Work is a cross between being private and feeling bad our work insurance policy doesn't cover it (I am HR benefits manager) and my insurance (husbands) covers it. They think I am having gall bladder surgery.

Anyone else doesn't need to know. Maybe once I lose a bunch of weight I will say something but right now I am not ready to do that.

Am I alone in this thinking?

Of course, my DH knows (or I wouldn't be doing this)...but I told my close friends first and the reaction has been good. Then, as school has come to a close, people begin asking "What are you going to do this summer?" To my students, I said "Absolutely nothing." Then I joke with them and tell them that I may become addicted to soap operas again or maybe reality tv. I have told a few of student's parents - reaction was good. To some of my co-workers that are close to me, I have told them - again reaction was good and encouraging. I was surprised to learn that my boss had LB surgery in 5/07! I am not telling my own mother till I have lost a significant amount of weight - I don't need her negative rattle before the surgery. We told my in-laws last week - once we had a definite surgery date - they were surprised and skeptical. Which is PRECISELY the reason for the wait. It limits the amt of time my mil has to be negative.:biggrin2:

I started keeping my surgery very private only telling my husband then a very good friend of mine. After seeing the surgeon for my consult I told my 2 sons and another friend. My mother noticed I was going to alot of Dr appointments so I finally broke down and told her so she wouldn't worry. Then the co-workers noticed my appointments so I broke it to them. By that point, I just got tired of going through the story over and over again until I got my surgery date. My mother surprisingly didn't tell any of my brothers and sisters but asked me if I minded, I told her fine but if they had anything negative to say, I did not want to hear it. Finally, my clients, I love them, always trying to stuff cookies and candy in me. I am on my preop diet (doing great btw...lost 11 lbs in 7 days!) and they kept trying to offer me cookies and chocolate so I finally just told them. I'm very surprised with all the reactions I received. I thought for sure some would be totally against it but every single person I have been told has been really wonderful. Depending on how you look at it, now that just about EVERYBODY in the free world knows what i'm doing on monday, I have a ton of people to help and keep me on the right track.

hi haven,t told anyone but my fiancee, my daughter an son don,t want anyone to really know, some things you wanna keep to yourself, for your own peace of mine.

Wow, KatieS that is really great about your weight loss! I hope I can do as well. Today I started the pre op diet. I cannot tell a lie... I'm hungry! I'm trying not to think about it, but my stomach has been rumbling pretty loud.. the cat's getting annoyed. :thumbup:

I would love to tell my mother, but she has this thing about "being cut open" and it would be a lot of negativity that I just don't really want. I probably, down the road, will end up telling my daughter, she's 14. In a way, it's like a feel like a failure because I should have had enough willpower. I know she wouldn't look at it like that, but right now, for the first time, this is about me and being healthy and getting my "numbers" down so I can be here to watch her graduate h.s.

well, enough babbling. It's nice to know that you can share anything here. :thumbup:

Wow, KatieS that is really great about your weight loss! I hope I can do as well. Today I started the pre op diet. I cannot tell a lie... I'm hungry! I'm trying not to think about it, but my stomach has been rumbling pretty loud.. the cat's getting annoyed. :thumbup:

I can't lie, it hasn't been easy. I'm doing Protein shakes and my Dr said if i need to eat go ahead, just remember high protein low carb. So i've been doing shakes all day and a can of tuna at night. (I need something non liquid) I also had a cup of broccoli a couple times and it made me feel better. I've drank gobs and gobs of Water. I'd love to have some pizza but i'm really sticking with this. I'm actually proud of myself for doing it this far. I was really hungry in the beginning but its gotten better. I just pop a shake when I need one. I tried a couple and have stuck with the Atkins. I think they are thicker and for some reason work well with me. Now I just need someone to come in the OR and hold my hand on monday! I'm a big baby!!!

I started out thinking I'd keep it really private. Heck I didn't even tell my DH when I started looking at this the first time in 2005. I did tell him once I was serious about it, but then the insurance denied it.

In the mean time, both my MIL and SIL got bands.

So this time, I'm not keeping it a secret, but I'm not going out of my way to tell people either.

Obviously my DH and DD, knew because I talked about it alot. My DS is fairly obivios, so he didn't actually know until I told him when he called me in the hospital (on my cell phone).

I told two close friends first, then when they were really supportive, I told a few of my Mary Kay girlfriends, who are always super positive and supportive.

I debated telling my big sister. She can be both supportive or not. But ironically she called me last week to tell me that she was going to have gallbladder surgery, so I told her. She was great.

I haven't told my MIL or SIL yet, but we only talk now and then (they're great, but not overly attentive). I know they'll cheer me on too.

So I'm pretty lucky to have a lot of really good people in my life so I decided to be pretty open with my surgery.

Always

Hunzi

at first I didn't want to tell anyone. my mom had it done a year ago and she's the one who really convinced me that it'd be better to have it done now then to wait 40 years and end up like her, sad miserable and fat. So I live with my in-laws cuz dh is deployed, so I told them. Skeptical at first but I have talked with them about it and given details and such and now they are totally on board. My dad and step-mom, not so much. My step mother has always had an issue with me when I am thinner than her. she'd tell me i was fat when I was 13 and hat I should go on a diet, etc etc. So I told her about it and she has been trying to convince me to not have it done, postpone, do more research, just anything for me to not have it. But I DONT care anymore! I've told a few other friends and some people from church. I'm not ashamed of the decision to get healthy. My kids are 3 and 7 months and i want to be around a long time for them!

As far as family, only my husband and my mother-in-law know. My mom is going through a tough time, medically, for herself and I didn't want to add to her worries or anyone elses for now. Work- I have told my boss. She had gastric bypass a couple years ago and I knew I needed to let her know something since it would affect my time at work. That's it for now

Hi, I am not telling any of my family. They don't deserve to know there is alot of judgement from them and I feel it would be better for me to keep it from them they have hurt me to much to let it keep going in my thirty's would be wrong. A few friends from work and home know thats it. I don't feel its wrong.

Anita

I HESITATE TO let people know. i finally decided if i can help one person i maybe able to help. surgery june 19.. i am not going to let my customer know.

Funny when I initially posted this thread I was planning on telling no one except my husband, mother and a close friend. But as I got closer and more confident I told more people and I don't care. If they want to judge me as sad for having to resort to this I don't need to know them anyway! And everyone has been really supportive which is great. No one minus a girl who just had the surgery knows about it, they think I out this because I had my gallbladder out on Friday but am just not ready for people to know there plus there are a few who want it and i feel bad for them because my insurance through DH covers it and our company insurance doesn't and I am the HR/Benefits Manager. I have no control but still I don't want people to resent me.

Maybe when I get a lot thinner i will fess up. But for right now I am happy. My inlaws will find out next week since my FIL is coming to visit. I am sure they won't quite get it but will be supportive.

I have told my husband, my oldest daughter, my mom and sister and my mother and father in-law. I have 2 other friends who have had it done and they know as well. I told my 9 year old I was having gallbladder surgery, she is such a blabber mouth, she would tell the whole block.

I have only told 3 close friends, my sister and daughter afterwords. I am a private person and didn't really care to hear everyone's opinions. I was very surprised when one friend questioned "why" I was having the surgery when I thought it was obvious. Her daughter even had bypass surgery so I was shocked by her comment and thought she would be more supportive. I happened to have an unknown hernia until it was discovered at the time of surgery. So, at work I was going to say I had hernia surgery. But, since I recovered so well, just took a week vacation and really didn't have to explain much. Now I will just say I have made a lifestyle change and focusing on eating right and exercise which is the truth!

I too am a lurker. I have never replied to a thread but this one is so supportive and up my alley. I only told 3 friends that I thought would be supportive. Two of these friends were great but one is skinny and so resentful. She keeps trying to see me to see if I have lost any weight and it puts pressure on me because I really haven't since I havent't had my first fill. My BMI was rather low but I had high blood sugar, high lipids, and high blood pressure. I went for my check up and the doctor said I was doing great and don't get discouraged about not losing weight until my fisrt fill. I am honestly sorry I told that one friend, I feel I should have waited until after I had lost significant weight and then told her. I can totally relate to many of you who have kept is secret. It is very personal especially if it has been a life long struggle.

I too am a lurker. I have never replied to a thread but this one is so supportive and up my alley. I only told 3 friends that I thought would be supportive. Two of these friends were great but one is skinny and so resentful. She keeps trying to see me to see if I have lost any weight and it puts pressure on me because I really haven't since I havent't had my first fill. My BMI was rather low but I had high blood sugar, high lipids, and high blood pressure. I went for my check up and the doctor said I was doing great and don't get discouraged about not losing weight until my fisrt fill. I am honestly sorry I told that one friend, I feel I should have waited until after I had lost significant weight and then told her. I can totally relate to many of you who have kept is secret. It is very personal especially if it has been a life long struggle.

Hi lessme,

I know how you feel. I told a close friend. She shared it with her entire family. Prior to my surgery I was out to dinner with this friend and her husband and out of the blue she started asking me about my surgery. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe she did that. Then, this past weekend I ran into her sister. She looked me up and down to see if I had lost any weight. She didn't comment, but I noticed her eyes. I have decided not to say much and to just let people begin to notice. At a work outing today, people started to notice. Yeah!