Just curious. Is anyone keeping the fact they're having the band surgery from friends, relatives, or co-workers?

I have told my mom and a couple of close friends. I am keeping it from my father because he's very judgemental and thinks people who can't keep weight off lack self control. Work is a cross between being private and feeling bad our work insurance policy doesn't cover it (I am HR benefits manager) and my insurance (husbands) covers it. They think I am having gall bladder surgery.

Anyone else doesn't need to know. Maybe once I lose a bunch of weight I will say something but right now I am not ready to do that.

Am I alone in this thinking?

My husband is very resentful of having to take out such a large loan (I'm self-pay) when he believes (and has told me this several times) that we're having to do this because I won't do what I'm supposed to and lose the weight on my own. :thumbup:

My MIL is anti-fat people in general, and feels pretty much the same as my husband. That I'm just lazy and should do this on my own.

Anyways, didn't mean to vent there. I just wish there was a way I could have only shared this with people who were going to be positive about it, and support me.

Vent away! And hopefully as you get more confidence and feel more sure of yourself you can give your husband and MIL a piece of your mind. We always think of ourselves as lesser beings because other people treat us that way. Well we all have to stop that! Perhaps your husband is feeling insecure?

Anyway as we all get to know each other better we can take turns doing psychoanalysis :youcandothis: All this is pretty rich coming from me since I am afraid my dad will judge me for having it and lacking self control :scared2: and I also need to tell him where to go. Eventually..... Perhaps we can set up ticker deadlines for 'telling the mean people where to go'!

Oh and by the way I took a risk and told the girl at work who just had the surgery I'm having it. She was so happy to have a buddy. I got a lot of info in the classes that I can give her if she needs it. I am taking a risk but I felt like it wasn't right for her to tell me all about it and me pretend to be having my gall bladder out! If my boss finds out I will be very embarassed but oh well. Cross that bridge when we come to it. If they read my emails they know anyway.

Thumbs up to you for investing in you! Hang in there with the family. You can do it. Regarding the loan...it only money right? We spend it on stuff all the time that doesnt last. This is an investment in our health our future! Keep in touch!

My MIL is a piece of work, too. To my face she's all nice and watches what she says, but I just know that she is closet anti-fat (she is VERY SKINNY) and I'm pretty sure that she has been asking my husband what I'm going to do about my weight problem behind my back. I DID NOT want her to know about my LB surgery, but he just confessed to telling her 2 weeks ago to "defend" me. I'm very glad that he's supportive, but I smell a rat!

I told my Mother, Sisters (2) and my Boyfriend.

My mother is very supportive because her former boss also had the surgery so she understands that this is not the easy way out, and she's glad that I am taking steps to make me healthier for my little girl.

My sisters are so/so. One made a comment to my mom, "Great, now I'm going to be the fat one in the family". That hurt my feelings, but she has always been thin, and only recently gained weight, so I can understand (although I don't agree) with what she said.

I was NOT planning on telling my boyfriend, but he LITERALLY thought I was going to die since I was going to so many doctor's appts in such a short span of time. He asked my sisters and my mom if I was going to die several times. So I had to break down and tell him.

All of my other family members are too young or live far away for me to mention it right now. I dont think my father will be supportive, but I know he'll be happy when I can finally go running with him!!

My job is Home-based so I don't have to worry about making excuses for the time off. That's what my PTO is for.

I'm still not sure what I'll tell my co-workers when the weight starts to come off. We have formal get-togethers once a month, and any weight loss will NOT go unnoticed. Guess I'll just cross that bridge later.

hopefulmom

hang tough sista your gonna do great. And just think when you lose all the weight you want you can look at those people and say see told ya so!!:thumbup::tt2:

I told everyone. Regardless if they wanted to know or not. i discuss every aspect of the procedure,eating, etc. Everyone is very supportive especially the guys. Most of the women who I would classify in the super thin category are very insecure. I am happy for me and I feel that's all that really matters:))

I'm very private. I only told my husband once I was approved and he is very supportive. My work only knows I will be out for surgery, but not what for. My surgery is June 9th and now I have an issue; my husband had to go out ouf town, so now I will have to have my 19 year old daughter take me in. She just thinks I'm going for some female stuff.

Hi Greythope and June Bandsters,

I'm new to the board but have been "lurking" around for quite some time and when I saw this question decided to come out of hiding.:huh2:

I also have told no one. The only person who knows is my husband. He is my rock and my motivator. Many of my friends and family members are very judgemental and some have loved sabotaging my diets in the past. I just said that I was having epigastric hernia surgery to my family and work!

I am scheduled for June 20th and am excited and nervous at the same time. I would have preferred to share my journey with others, but I'll just keep them wondering how I finally lost my weight!:tongue:

CTGhostHunter ~ Looks like we have the same belief in being private. Good luck on your journey.

And good luck to you also. You're coming up quick! I would love to hear how everything went for you. :cursing:

Yeah, I told anybody that would listen. I'm sure there's a couple of people that have said things behind my back, but I don't care. I'm soooooooo excited!!

And good luck to you also. You're coming up quick! I would love to hear how everything went for you. :thumbup:

Thanks, I'll let you know after the 9th.

I would have loved to tell people, especially my family, but when I got the nerve up to tell my friend, we were talking about losing weight and she had mentioned a lot of women where she worked had the band or done gastric bypass, just when I thought I could say something, she followed it up with "that's the easy way out." :confused2: So.. needless to say, I kept my mouth shut. Little does she know it's really not the easy way out. So, that made me decide not to say anything.

Now, I will look for support on the board. People that have been, and will be going through it. My "new friends!" :thumbup:

I have told my family (husband, kids, mom, dad, sisters, brother) and a few close friends from work. Everyone has been very supportive. Being a teacher and having the next couple of months off, I don't have to worry about telling everyone else I work with until they start asking how I've lost the weight. Can't wait for that to happen.:wink2:

I told all my coworkers (supportive all-female environment) & immediate family members & finally told my pastor about a week before. I did not tell the parents of my students because I felt that was too much information & I like privacy.

FWIW, one of the hardest people I had to tell was my DD. Being a young female in todays society is hard & I didn't want her to think this was something she needed to do as well. She's had a little problem but it seems to be working out.