OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Good morning Tina,

Way to Go! :w00t: I'm glad you had a good afternoon and evening on your own...congrats! That's the first step of many that you will take.

As regarding your phone bill - I agree with SuzanneG that he has no right to question you. He lost that right when HE went outside of your marriage! :w00t:

You were wonderful to tell him - he should not expect answers from you right now. And anyone YOU choose to talk to is YOUR business, not HIS. It would be the same situation if you were in a support group - you would be talking about your situation with people who shared your experience.

That is helpful, and as long as it doesn't morph into a 'therapy' kind of relationship where you become too dependent on the other guy (be careful of that, you are vulnerable right now) then I think you're just fine.

Stay strong, keep enjoying your 'you' time, and let us know how you're doing! :confused:

Good morning everyone. Well, last night was my first night all by myself. The boys spent the night with their dad. So...I was absolutely fine. Is that wrong? I came home, washed my car, did the dishes and started cleaning the house. It was quiet and of course I missed my boys like crazy but I did fine.

Here's what else happened yesterday...ever since that night that I can't remember (the one where apparently I was kissing my brothers friend)...my husband thinks that I have "someone else". So...he started snooping and asked me about a phone number that is on my cell phone bill. It's on there all over the place. It's a guy who has dealt with the same thing that I am going through. I didn't lie to him...I told him...it's a guy that I met whose wife cheated on him with their neighbor...they have two children as well. In talking with this person it helps me. He doesn't understand how I can open up to strangers but I find it easier to do because people don't know me or him so they can be more objective. What do you guys think? Can't wait to hear from you all.

You probably already KNOW what I think, but I'ma gonna tell you anyway. :confused:

I think he gave up the right to worry about who you talk to, hang with, share with, or see the minute he put his penis inside another woman. Yes, I went there.

He created this. Now he has to put on his big girl panties and DEAL. :w00t:

You probably already KNOW what I think, but I'ma gonna tell you anyway. :confused:

I think he gave up the right to worry about who you talk to, hang with, share with, or see the minute he put his penis inside another woman. Yes, I went there.

He created this. Now he has to put on his big girl panties and DEAL. :w00t:

What Beth said...good morning sister-from-another-mother!

Gotta love a tough woman who speaks her mind!

What Beth said...good morning sister-from-another-mother!

Gotta love a tough woman who speaks her mind!

Hehe, I love you more and more each day too! LOVE reading your posts!

Good morning everyone. Well, last night was my first night all by myself. The boys spent the night with their dad. So...I was absolutely fine. Is that wrong? I came home, washed my car, did the dishes and started cleaning the house. It was quiet and of course I missed my boys like crazy but I did fine.

Here's what else happened yesterday...ever since that night that I can't remember (the one where apparently I was kissing my brothers friend)...my husband thinks that I have "someone else". So...he started snooping and asked me about a phone number that is on my cell phone bill. It's on there all over the place. It's a guy who has dealt with the same thing that I am going through. I didn't lie to him...I told him...it's a guy that I met whose wife cheated on him with their neighbor...they have two children as well. In talking with this person it helps me. He doesn't understand how I can open up to strangers but I find it easier to do because people don't know me or him so they can be more objective. What do you guys think? Can't wait to hear from you all.

I am glad you had a good night.

As far as hubby goes I would also tell him it is your cell phone not his, So don't worry and to quit snooping thru your mail. (is the cell phone bill in your name?) You are a grown woman, your not the one who went out and screwed around, he is. He lost all his right to know anything that you don't feel like letting him know. But unfortunately men think different than women. They think we should forgive them their indiscretions, but if the shoe was on the other foot, most men would have kicked us to the curb as soon as they found out. :confused:

Anyhow have a good day Tina and good luck on what is happening. Oh before I forget, did you find someone that can help you after PS?

Good morning everyone. Well, last night was my first night all by myself. The boys spent the night with their dad. So...I was absolutely fine. Is that wrong?

my husband thinks that I have "someone else". So...he started snooping and asked me about a phone number that is on my cell phone bill. It's on there all over the place. It's a guy who has dealt with the same thing that I am going through. I didn't lie to him...I told him...it's a guy that I met whose wife cheated on him with their neighbor...they have two children as well. In talking with this person it helps me. He doesn't understand how I can open up to strangers but I find it easier to do because people don't know me or him so they can be more objective. What do you guys think? Can't wait to hear from you all.

yay you! Nope, there is nothing wrong is enjoying your time for yourself. There will be tough lonely times ahead; you will find though that you appreciate more and more those times you are able to be alone with your thoughts.

As for the actions of the man, he had NO right to snoop, let alone question you. You are a better person than I am in that you gave a civil explanation! I would have told him that my personal life was NOT his business and then terminated that discussion! No explanations, no discussion, nothing.

As regarding your phone bill - I agree with SuzanneG that he has no right to question you. He lost that right when HE went outside of your marriage! :confused: And anyone YOU choose to talk to is YOUR business, not HIS.

That is helpful, and as long as it doesn't morph into a 'therapy' kind of relationship where you become too dependent on the other guy (be careful of that, you are vulnerable right now) then I think you're just fine.

Wise words from Ebony...

He created this. Now he has to put on his big girl panties and DEAL. :w00t:

Absolutely!

You know what...YOU GUYS ROCK! I come here and read what you guys have to say and I just love it. OK...so today is going to be a weird day...let me tell you why...

So...the guy that I was talking about before...can't talk to him enough...I truly enjoy talking to him...he's awesome. Then...there's this other guy who sent me a text message that said, "Good night my sexy godess"...Alrighty then...then...there's a guy here at work that is totally flirting with me so I was just gonna come right out and ask him if he was flirting but I don't have to...on my Facebook page my coworker made a picture with my face on Superwoman's body. I made a comment that said, "I look HOT as Superwoman". So...he sent me a private message that said, "You are hot even when not dressed as superwoman...but it doesn't hurt...LOL". So...apparently I have become some magnet. This is ALL new to me...I'm sitting here blushing :thumbup:

Goodness ladies...what in the world is going on here? Is it a full moon or something?

Whatever is happening, enjoy it!

Goodness ladies...what in the world is going on here? Is it a full moon or something?

Cuz you're a BABE!! And your new confidence is sexy to men. Way to go!! This is truly a sign. When you're ready, you will meet somebody who will treat you as the goddess you truly are. :thumbup:

Wow Tina! You go girl! But....I know I have to be a party pooper.....Just be careful.... Try not to let it overwhelm you, cause it could since your not used to the attention. (I have to remember these words of wisdom in case it happens to me) Have fun hon.

Goodness ladies...what in the world is going on here? Is it a full moon or something?

Nope, it's just that your awesome insides are now reflected in your hot-as-fire outside! I'd be willing to bet these guys have known you for a while, but never felt free to say anything. Now that you are putting out a different 'energy', they are picking up on it.

Enjoy the attention, but like gone4ever said, BE CAREFUL! Let 'em compete for your attention for a while, let your heart heal, let things settle down (psychologically, physically, psychically) and then make your choice - whether it's to date a new guy, enjoy being single, or just to relax and do you. :thumbup:

I wish that all of you guys lived near me. We would be having one hell of a party at my house!!!! The suggestions, thoughts, prayers and everything else that you have given me is beyond words. For those of you that aren't too far from me (Charles County, MD)...let me know if you are interested...I'm having an adult female toy party next Friday night at my house. If you want to...you are more than welcome to attend. It should truly be a blast.

Anyway....all of you are right. Just so you all know...I am NOT looking for a relationship with anyone...I am just sitting back and enjoying every single bit of all of this. I have never experienced it and I am just beeming like a pregnant woman (NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!!!). Anyway...thanks so much to all of you.

Much love, ladies.

Tina

I wish that all of you guys lived near me. We would be having one hell of a party at my house!!!! The suggestions, thoughts, prayers and everything else that you have given me is beyond words. For those of you that aren't too far from me (Charles County, MD)...let me know if you are interested...I'm having an adult female toy party next Friday night at my house. If you want to...you are more than welcome to attend. It should truly be a blast.

Anyway....all of you are right. Just so you all know...I am NOT looking for a relationship with anyone...I am just sitting back and enjoying every single bit of all of this. I have never experienced it and I am just beeming like a pregnant woman (NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!!!). Anyway...thanks so much to all of you.

Much love, ladies.

Tina

Oh my GOD, you're not really all that far from me, only about 50 miles! Not that I can come to the toy party (or can I...? Hmmm...), but wow, we should really hook up sometime!

Oh my GOD, you're not really all that far from me, only about 50 miles! Not that I can come to the toy party (or can I...? Hmmm...), but wow, we should really hook up sometime!

Shhhh...don't let you-know-who hear that, or she'll be accusing you of 'stepping out' on her again...:thumbup:

You know what...YOU GUYS ROCK! I come here and read what you guys have to say and I just love it. OK...so today is going to be a weird day...let me tell you why...

So...the guy that I was talking about before...can't talk to him enough...I truly enjoy talking to him...he's awesome. Then...there's this other guy who sent me a text message that said, "Good night my sexy godess"...Alrighty then...then...there's a guy here at work that is totally flirting with me so I was just gonna come right out and ask him if he was flirting but I don't have to...on my Facebook page my coworker made a picture with my face on Superwoman's body. I made a comment that said, "I look HOT as Superwoman". So...he sent me a private message that said, "You are hot even when not dressed as superwoman...but it doesn't hurt...LOL". So...apparently I have become some magnet. This is ALL new to me...I'm sitting here blushing :scared2:

Goodness ladies...what in the world is going on here? Is it a full moon or something?

I'm so proud of you! A lot has happened since I last checked in! Goodness!

Take care it doesn't go to your head! LOL!

Wow Tina! You go girl! But....I know I have to be a party pooper.....Just be careful.... Try not to let it overwhelm you, cause it could since your not used to the attention. (I have to remember these words of wisdom in case it happens to me) Have fun hon.

What she said!

I wish that all of you guys lived near me. We would be having one hell of a party at my house!!!! The suggestions, thoughts, prayers and everything else that you have given me is beyond words. For those of you that aren't too far from me (Charles County, MD)...let me know if you are interested...I'm having an adult female toy party next Friday night at my house. If you want to...you are more than welcome to attend. It should truly be a blast.

Anyway....all of you are right. Just so you all know...I am NOT looking for a relationship with anyone...I am just sitting back and enjoying every single bit of all of this. I have never experienced it and I am just beeming like a pregnant woman (NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!!!). Anyway...thanks so much to all of you.

Much love, ladies.

Tina

Ooohhh! Those parties are fun! Have a great time!

You DO seem to have your head on straight and that's great! It's so hard in situations like this. The emotions are all over the place but you seem really grounded.

Shhhh...don't let you-know-who hear that, or she'll be accusing you of 'stepping out' on her again...:heart:

LOL Ebony! I caught the last tiff, y'all better be careful! :crying:

********

Tina, I truly think that this whole thing the last couple of weeks, what with DH moving out and all, is for the best. I think now, you can fully start to heal. And he needs to get over himself with the possessive/jealous stuff. It's WAY too late for that garbage and you need to set him straight about it all.

(And the whole drinking/blacking out thing, scared the holy hell outta me! I'm with the others, you were drugged!)

Take good care of yourself. Enjoy the flirting. Enjoy the alone time, even tho I know you'll miss the kids. And have a GREAT time at your party next week!

All my best!