OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Good morning and Congrats, Tina!

Now that the first weekend is behind you and things are going well, it's all going to be fine. I know it's strange and weird, but you are holding up well and I applaud you! :confused:

Keep up the good work and keep us informed!

Tina,

So glad the weekend went smoothly. You're doing great! We're so proud of you!

Well, another night and everything went alright for me. Tomorrow night will be weird because the boys will be with their dad. I'll be in the house all by myself. That's gonna be different for me. Maybe I'll go to bed early or maybe I'll step out for a bit. Maybe I'll do both...lol...

Thanks for continuing to think of me during this time. You guys have really been a big help.

Well, another night and everything went alright for me. Tomorrow night will be weird because the boys will be with their dad. I'll be in the house all by myself. That's gonna be different for me. Maybe I'll go to bed early or maybe I'll step out for a bit. Maybe I'll do both...lol...

Thanks for continuing to think of me during this time. You guys have really been a big help.

QUICK!!! Strip naked and run around the house while you have it to yourself! :tt2:

Now on a more serious note. You are doing great. It will be strange the first few times you are totally by yourself. There will be many first, some strange, some fantastic and others are just there. There will be times you will miss your soon to be ex something fierce. Other times you will hate him with a passion. I guess what I am trying to say is you will go thru a whole lot of different emotions. I kinda liken it to mourning. It is a death of your dreams, hope, future. You have been going thru this for a while now, ever since you found out he cheated. But with him out it will seem to be more intense at times. But you will have the great times more and more often. Right now you might feel like a weight has been lifted, that is good. Hug that feeling.

I will keep praying for you Tina.:laugh:

Girl...there is no stripping naked with this body...lol...4 weeks from today I go under the knife to get rid of this flabby crap. Until then...I'll stay covered up. :laugh:

Speaking of the surgery...who the heck am I gonna have come take care of me? I talked to my friend yesterday who had the surgery two weeks ago (minus the boobs) and she said that she needed someone with her 24/7 for AT LEAST the first week. What the heck am I gonna do? I think he's gonna keep the kids that week but who is gonna help me? I can't do it by myself. From what I understand I won't even be able to stand up alone. YIKES.

Girl...there is no stripping naked with this body...lol...4 weeks from today I go under the knife to get rid of this flabby crap. Until then...I'll stay covered up. :tt2:

Try to look at it as your trophy for all your wonderful weight loss, a trophy that, while you can appreciate it, are all too willing to rid yourself of in the near future.

Hey, as you can run, you can imagine the smacking flesh as clapping for your success. :laugh:

Speaking of the surgery...who the heck am I gonna have come take care of me? I talked to my friend yesterday who had the surgery two weeks ago (minus the boobs) and she said that she needed someone with her 24/7 for AT LEAST the first week. What the heck am I gonna do? I think he's gonna keep the kids that week but who is gonna help me? I can't do it by myself. From what I understand I won't even be able to stand up alone. YIKES.

No family or friends who can trade off shifts?? Barring that, and I hate to even suggest it, but what about hubby/ex/whatever you call him now? Doesn't mean you have to have anything go on afterwards like a reunion or anything, but you ARE the mother of his children, and it's the LEAST he could do for you after all he did. He may just be waiting for you to ask and not taking it upon himself to offer.

Well, another night and everything went alright for me. Tomorrow night will be weird because the boys will be with their dad. I'll be in the house all by myself. That's gonna be different for me. Maybe I'll go to bed early or maybe I'll step out for a bit. Maybe I'll do both...lol...

Thanks for continuing to think of me during this time. You guys have really been a big help.

It will be strange at first to have the house to yourself, but you'll soon grow to love your alone time.

No family or friends who can trade off shifts?? Barring that, and I hate to even suggest it, but what about hubby/ex/whatever you call him now? Doesn't mean you have to have anything go on afterwards like a reunion or anything, but you ARE the mother of his children, and it's the LEAST he could do for you after all he did. He may just be waiting for you to ask and not taking it upon himself to offer.

Beth, it's official. You've lost your freakin' mind! Tina, don't you dare do it! You will be weak, in pain and very vulnerable. If he comes and is very kind and loving towards you, you may weaken in your hour of need and start having thoughts of reuniting. This will all be from being weak, in pain and in great need. Once you fully recover, you'll want him out of your hair again and then you'll have to go through this all over again.

Beth, it's official. You've lost your freakin' mind!

Yeah, I know... but my thought is if she seriously has NOBODY, then he is better than nothing. She's going to need some assistance, no doubt.

Tina, your parents live next door, right? They can and will help you. You also have a brother within driving distance. Also, everyone's experience is different. Your recovery might not be as difficult as your friends depending on how healthy/fit you are compared to your friend. Also, from what I understand, you can't put any strain on your stomach muscles so instead of using them to get up, you might have to roll out of bed and scooch off your seat. Having something like a walker to help support your weight while you are getting up will probably also help. Call every friend, coworker and acquaintenance and ask them for help. I know it's difficult to ask, but I think you'd be surprised how willing people are to help. You can set up "shifts". Maybe your Mom and Dad can also take turns staying with you during the night.

Oh shoot, I didn't realize family was that close! I thought she was on her own where she lived.

Nebbah mind... :biggrin:

Tina,

Very good suggestions here (minus the ex idea of course).

Can you stay with your brother or parents during that week? Seems that would be least disruptive to thier lives and make it easier for them to help you.

Don't freak out if you are mind crushingly lonely when you are there by yourself at first. Like Donna said, you will grow to love your alone time.

Maybe go for a run tomorrow night, it's supposed to be in the 70's. Running is the next best way to get your endorphins up. :biggrin: You won't be able to exercise for a while after PS so you may as well get it in now.

I can't wait to see your rocking body. I'm envious. I've been dreaming about PS for a couple of months now.

Edited March 10, 200917 yr by SuzanneG

Very good suggestions here (minus the ex idea of course).

Uncle. I give. :biggrin:

Hey Tina!

Congrats on making it so far...if you go out, watch your glass!

Definately get help (from everyone BUT the ex) while you are recovering. He's doing a great job by taking the kids, but depend on others for your other help - it's too soon for him to be objective.

Good luck with the surgery - I'm envious, and anxious to see how GREAT you're going to look afterwards!:biggrin:

Good morning everyone. Well, last night was my first night all by myself. The boys spent the night with their dad. So...I was absolutely fine. Is that wrong? I came home, washed my car, did the dishes and started cleaning the house. It was quiet and of course I missed my boys like crazy but I did fine.

Here's what else happened yesterday...ever since that night that I can't remember (the one where apparently I was kissing my brothers friend)...my husband thinks that I have "someone else". So...he started snooping and asked me about a phone number that is on my cell phone bill. It's on there all over the place. It's a guy who has dealt with the same thing that I am going through. I didn't lie to him...I told him...it's a guy that I met whose wife cheated on him with their neighbor...they have two children as well. In talking with this person it helps me. He doesn't understand how I can open up to strangers but I find it easier to do because people don't know me or him so they can be more objective. What do you guys think? Can't wait to hear from you all.

Morning Tina,

I think he has no right to ask you about a phone number or any guy that you may be talking to. Be that as a friend or even a lover, he gave that right up a long time ago.

I'm glad that you have someone that you can talk to and share your thoughts with. Is he in your area? How did you meet him?

I'm very happy to hear that you had a good evening on your own. You will come to treasure your time like that.

Congratulations Lady! You did it! :thumbup: