No not me, my fiance. How long after surgery did you wait before having sex again?

That is terrible! I love my wife just the way she is! I would never do that to her!!!

My DH is a bit overweight, so I was afraid of the pressure from his weight. I just got on top. Problem solved. I was able to control what I could handle.

:wink2:I look forward to the weight loss from the band so that I can have my formerly insatiable sex drive back. Now... I'm so blase about sex. I could take it or leave it. My fiance... well, let's just say his hard drive is filling up rapidly as a result. *shrug* When I am in the mood, he doesn't care whether I am drunk, frizzy-haired, or in my "fat clothes." Lol. Takes it when he can get it. But, I can definitely handle a 2-4 week wait after op :thumbup:

I waited about two weeks and it was not painfull during the act, but afterwards, I felt sick to my stomach. Of course, I didn't tell my husband. But it was not painfull at all.

About 5 days for me. I was the one who couldn't wait. Its a great way to forget the fact that we can't eat. Just don't go too wild!:biggrin:

I think it is up to the individual and how you feel. I felt fine and we had sex 3 days afterwards. Of course, we avoided my stomach area and so we were creative with the position. It was my idea and he loved it. He took such good care of me after surgery I just thought he deserved a surprise. And he was shocked that I suggested it. But, by all means, do what YOU are comfortable with.

And to the sweet girl that has a partner that won't have sex with her until she loses weight... what the heck??? Is there a reason you put up with that? We are all beautiful no matter what size we are and he should know that. I say, get banded and skinny and refuse to have sex with him until he sees a therapist. Sorry, I don't mean to be rude but that makes me mad for you!!!!!!! :biggrin:

If you don't mind me asking, what positions did you guys use until the port wasn't so sore?

I haven't had my surgery yet, but I'm anxiously awaiting dropping the pounds...my fiancee lost a lot of interest in sex and swears it's not because of my weight (he wanted it all the time when I was about 300, but now I'm over 400), but I'm hoping losing it will kick-start him again.

Trust me though, I'll be back in the sack as soon as I can after the band! :biggrin:

Get rid of him there is someone out there that will love you for who you are. Sounds like you have wasted 4yrs. Don't waste another minute!

i was banded friday and i wanted to on saturday, probably luckily, my husband didnt come with me when had the procedure. but today i made a move and he said can you do that, i asked him why not, he said, cuz you have holes in you. i thought thats what you liked about it. lol. he rolled his eyes and said now you have extra holes. but i think we are going to, carefully, try later. just cuz i wanna.

It makes me feel sad that you are with someone so selfish and superficial.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

My husband is very sexually "sensitive"....when he came back from Iraq (4 years ago) I was my thinnest (180 lbs..I am 5'8") and looking pretty good.

He was not interested!!! He just drank to deal w/his stress...so here we are a few years later and I ate to deal with the rejection (now I am 260lbs)...

Every night when he would roll over I would go crying into the kitchen and EAT..

Our sex life was better for a few years, but now that I am up to 260, his interest has once again declined...he also swears it has nothing to do w/my weight and that he is attracted to me...but I do wonder. Whatever the issue, it hurts my feelings tremendously...

I definetly feel that this is the biggest issue I need to overcome my battle w/food...I need to not take his sexual issues personally and know it's not me.

He doesn't drink anymore, but his drive is definitely less than your avg. 33yo man. I am really venting here....I guess I am a little bitter...he was my first and I waited until I was 24, I was number 12 or so on his list...

Okay enough.... Thanks for letting me vent!!!

I haven't been banded yet but wanted to drop my congrats to you - my bf of 4 yrs wouldn't and hasn't touched me since as I hit 190, a 30 pound gain from when I met him (5'6, current 270), so I am happy for you that you have someone undetered by your struggle.

You need a new boyfriend!. Please don't do this for him do it for you, he doesn't deserve you. What happens when he is fat and bald? are you gonna treat him like he has a disease? I don't think so. I get so pissed when I hear about men like that. I met my wife 20 years ago, I was very thin then (175) she was a 2-3X gal back then . I fell in love with her. I know it sounds corny but love is on the inside. We have been married 19 years as of last month. I now am a plus,plus size (not for long I hope) she never looked at me any differently when I put on 150 pounds over 20 years. She is in the approval process for Gastric bypass so we can take this journey together.

Please for your sake, find someone who loves you for who you are and don't settle for what you can get.

Thin4anisha,

have you ever heard the saying, "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best"?

Hey! I am amazed by the answers! My doctor said no sex for 6 weeks! And I am sticking to that story. wink wink

I heard a good one . might have been here on LBT.

"Those who judge don't matter, Those who matter don't judge"

Just thought that sounded good