Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is portion control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

All I can say is WOW after reading pages of this amazing thread! I hope the people who originated this thread back in '05 still come back to read our stories.

Ok, I have kinda hesitated about putting my story out there, but here goes.

I'm the youngest of 3 daughters, and in high school, both of my sister's had various but undocumented eating disorders. I thought of myself as lucky because I never had a chubby phase like my older sisters, and I was always lazy, but surprisingly athletic.

I don't think I would go so far to call me a high school "mean girl", but I was definately headed in that direction. I was HOT, lol, and I loved it.

I continued to live in a perfect size 8 world at around 125 pounds until I was about 25ish, I'm 37 years old now. Up until I was 25 I had my fair share of family issues, un-documented depression, sexual harassment, anxiety, etc, and I remember where is standing at the time I said these words to my husband "I honestly feel like my body wants me to be at this (125) pound weight....I think I would have put on a bunch of weight by now due to all those struggles, but I guess not." OMG how wrong was I!

Next thing I know, I am working at a crappy job where I was being sexually harassed, living in a state that I detested, and falling deeper into depression. I honestly think I put on like 30 or 40 pounds in a matter of a couple months! I'm still upset that my then doctor never took that severe weight gain as a sign of depression, but at least I'm medicated now

As you can probably tell, I have never had much of an issues with self esteem, lol. I knew I was gaining weight rapidly, but didn't really think I had been eating all that much more then in stressful times before, but I was putting on weight.....How dare that happen to me, lol!

I finally began treatment for depression once I finally moved to California, and was incredibly happy, but could just not lose the weight. Over time, I eventually gained 20 pounds here, and 20 pounds there, but my body hides it surprisingly well (If you click on my picture and check out my photo album, you will be able to see for yourself). It was also during this time (around 2000) that I flatly refused to be weighed at any doctor's appointment. I figured that there was never a way I would ever weight over 200, so I was fine with not knowing. I just could not deal with hearing the number, and was "blissfully unaware" of how much I weighed for many years. My friends and family were concerned because they never really saw me eat huge amounts of food. I do love my chocolate, and I don't think that will ever change, but there never seemed like I had one clear issue as to why the weight kept adding up.

Also, each time I visited my family I would be overcome with anxiety at seeing my older sisters. Although they both had their issues as teens, their weight finally stabilized. My middle sister is about 5 feet tall and weighs less then 90 pounds after having 3 kids, and my oldest sister is about 5'2 and weighs around 120. I remember them thinking I was huge when I was younger since I'm the tallest at 5'4, but if they thought I was huge at 125, what the hell must they have thought of me once I gained all that weight!!!

This past may, I began working out in earnest and really watching my food intake. You guys, I serioulsy almost fainted when I stepped on the gym scale and it read 223!!!! I always thought that I could be relatively healthy and happy if I stayed under 200 pounds. Afterall, that is a full 75 pounds heavier then I have ever been.

I went to a fat doctor, who tried every weight pill out there on me, and none of them worked. There was also nothing wrong with my bloodwork to indicate I had a thyroid or other metabolic issue....I was just a fat fatty!

So I worked out almost every day, eventually biking up to 60 miles a week, but my weight predictibly stayed between 208 and 216.

I finally broke down on my birthday, and decided that I had to surrender myself to the fact that this issue is bigger then something I can do on my own.

Gaining the weight hasn't been the absolute worst thing in the world for me. It has managed to take a "mean girl" and turn me into a sympathetic and less judgmental adult.

Whew, that's alot to write so I'll end it here.

You have done really well with your weight. Why did you decide to unband?

I have made an appointment to be banded which has taken me a couple of years and an additional 10 pounds to get to. While researching on the various forums I have tried to find out if there is any severe down side to having this done and would really appreciate your answer. Thanking you in advance....English Lady

You have done really well with your weight. Why did you decide to unband?

I have made an appointment to be banded which has taken me a couple of years and an additional 10 pounds to get to. While researching on the various forums I have tried to find out if there is any severe down side to having this done and would really appreciate your answer. Thanking you in advance....English Lady

Engliah Girl, who are you referring to? Just need some clarification :smile2:

Well my weight issues started when I was around 10 years old. Up until that time I was always the thin one, in fact my mom told me she took me to the doctor when I was 2 and then again at 4 because I was so thin. Well, at 10 years old I was molested by my father and you can see in pictures the weight just piling on and the defensive posture I adopted. I went from being a free, fun-loving child to a depressed, backward little girl.

Once in high school things turned around some and I became a cheerleader and officer of many different clubs but at home I was still that shy, awkward kid. I moved right after high school and I thinned up.

I got married (to someone with my father's attributes when it comes to women) and I ballooned out of control again. Had two babies and kept on the baby weight and much more, just gaining more and more as the years went by. Finally divorced after 18 years of marriage and lost 120 lbs that first year.

Married again and gained back 80 of that because of the alcholism I married into.

Now I am single again and doing for myself. I have lost around 65 lbs now and feeling great.

So I would say the reason I am fat is from self worth, self esteem and so on. I just have had to learn to love me for me. Something I have never really been able to do.

I stuffed my feelings into a bowl of pasta! But NO MORE!

It seems like a lot of us were molested.

It does seem to be a major common denominator in most of our lives!

I went to an endocronoligist in Orlando many years ago. He put me on Optifast and it was just awful. I lost a lot of weight but eventually gained it back and more. During my last session with him (after about 9 weeks), he told me that most of his patients had been sexually molested. For the life of me I couldn't understand how he could know that most of his patients had been sexually molested. He never asked me if I had been, he just assumed that I was. Weird.

Very weird. When I went for my psych eval, the counselor said most people that he sees that are overweight were abused or had alcoholic parents. I am lucky enough to have had both. Go figure.

Maybe he had been told that by a number of his patients and he was just assuming.

But it is great when someone can overcome that obstacle and move on with their lives. I have been asked to become a motivational speaker for incest victims and feel like I am being led to do that. Just have to find an outlet for my experiences.

I do hope the lap band process does help those who have been effected by incest to move past it and lead fun loving, productive lives.

Life can be good once again!

That's great if you can speak about it. I am not brave enough to even tell most of my family. Very few people know.

It is only through the grace of GOD and lots of theraphy when I was younger that I can move past it all.

I know what you mean. I have moved past it, but I still haven't told many people. Mostly because I don't want my Dad to know and think that it was his fault that it happened because it happened in his house. My uncle that did it is still alive and he still lives with my Dad, so it would cause all kinds of problems if people found out.

I completely understand! I confronted my father 23 years after the fact, he and I have a relationship now only with my ability to forgive him. Not a close relationship mind you. Mainly how is the weather, work, etc.... Small talk. My parents are still together, I have more issues with my mom as she knew about it when it was happening and did nothing to save me from going through that. We have a strained relationship at best. But I understand about keeping peace. And it isn't your dad's fault. But he will put it on himself if he found out. I pray for you!

Thanks. I couldn't even imagine if my Dad had did something like that. That has to be the worst thing. I know women who knew what was happeneing to their daughters and did nothing. I don't understand that. It happened to my cousin. Her step father was raping her and her mother knew about it and didn't do anything. She even walked in on him molesting her and she didn't say anything, just turned around and walked off. My cousin died a while back in a car accident, but I still have bad feelings toward my aunt.

Thanks. I couldn't even imagine if my Dad had did something like that. That has to be the worst thing. I know women who knew what was happeneing to their daughters and did nothing. I don't understand that. It happened to my cousin. Her step father was raping her and her mother knew about it and didn't do anything. She even walked in on him molesting her and she didn't say anything, just turned around and walked off. My cousin died a while back in a car accident, but I still have bad feelings toward my aunt.

Jesus, that's a horror story. I don't understand why some people are compelled to commit those kinds of acts. I feel so bad for women/men that have to grow up with it, because in more ways than one, they're handicapped during their development as young adults (sometimes forever).

My heart goes out to anyone that has to endure something that scarring. I'd be horrified if one of my siblings went through something like that.

The only thing I can complain about is that my dad made food and being overweight such a big issue as a kid, that I think I may have developed issues with overeating. I don't believe that it was a conscience effort on his part, but I do feel that I developed an unhealthy relationship with food as a result, which is unfortunate.