Hello all,

I had my first negative comment yesterday from a member of my partner's family.

I was talking about my surgery (as someone else in their family had also had WLS), and this individual spoke up and said to me: "ah, you don't have the will power to do it yourself then?".

I was just a bit taken aback if I am honest. I had to correct her (not that I have to justify myself to anyone), in saying that I had exhausted all my options, and other conditions I have mean that WLS is the only way for me.

I know we shouldn't take things that others say to heart, but I can just predict that this is going to be the mindset of most people who do not understand what it is like to be obese, and to struggle every day.

How have some of you dealt with comments such as these?

dupe

Edited January 18, 20242 yr by ms.sss

dupe.

Edited January 18, 20242 yr by ms.sss

Aside:

*rant begin*

seriously, the amount of dupes and delays in posting on the BP forums the past couple months has been quite annoying.

*rant over*

@Alex Brecher : assist?

2 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

Aside:

*rant begin*

seriously, the amount of dupes and delays in posting on the BP forums the past couple months has been quite annoying.

*rant over*

@Alex Brecher : assist?

We need an upgrade! I hope to have one in place over the next few months. I appreciate the feedback.

Hopefully in the update, they’ll fix the background and text color so that you can see what you’re typing when you’re posting on the original post. I mean you can see obviously when you’re replying to somebody but when you go to make an original post you can’t see anything because it’s a black background with black text or dark blue text or something. That would be a nice change for the update.

8 hours ago, kgonz said:

Why do people act like you get a BBL? lol it’s a weight loss surgery! There’s still so much work to be done! No ones walking out with an hourglass figure

Exactly haha! They seem to see it as an easy way out, and I haven't even had the surgery yet and I know it is going to be one of the most difficult things I have ever done.

Plus, I imagine those same people would probably get actual cosmetic surgery like a BBL and consider that okay, when in reality they could just 'work harder', and have the 'willpower' to do squats every day haha!

Either way, I'd never judge anyone's choices as to what they do with their body, so I don't know why we are judged so harshly when it comes to giving ourselves a chance to live a better life and to greatly improve our health!

On 1/8/2024 at 3:35 AM, Bypass2Freedom said:

How have some of you dealt with comments such as these?

My two word response to anyone who comes at me with anything other than less than 100% support... f**k off.

It's not my job to educate you or seek your approval. Get on board, or get out of my way.

Edited February 6, 20242 yr by maintenanceman

1 hour ago, maintenanceman said:

My two word response to anyone who comes at me with anything other than less than 100% support... f**k off.

It's not my job to educate you or seek your approval. Get on board, or get out of my way.

Exactly this. Why feel the need to explain to judgemental people? Judgemental people will always judge, these are the same people who fail to look inwards or at the mirror. Next time ask "did I ask for your opinion?" Also "I expect support from my family and friends, but f you can't do this - keep quiet!"

Edited February 6, 20242 yr by BlondePatriotInCDA

On 2/6/2024 at 6:12 PM, maintenanceman said:

My two word response to anyone who comes at me with anything other than less than 100% support... f**k off.

It's not my job to educate you or seek your approval. Get on board, or get out of my way.

I have to say, I agree with this and will be using that from now on!

On 2/6/2024 at 7:16 PM, BlondePatriotInCDA said:

Exactly this. Why feel the need to explain to judgemental people? Judgemental people will always judge, these are the same people who fail to look inwards or at the mirror. Next time ask "did I ask for your opinion?" Also "I expect support from my family and friends, but f you can't do this - keep quiet!"

It is strange how we feel the need to explain, when really we owe them nothing at all!

Thank you for the advice! x

I'm going to the US in November to see my family. I haven't been home in 20 years so I will see my sisters fir the first time in 20 years (Yay!) And my dad and step-mother (ugh). My stepmother was always overweight. Larger than my mother was, but she made a point of telling me specifically how big I was getting and my dad would constantly tell me I was getting so big I was starting to look like my mother. (who again, was smaller than his wife) and they made me eat differently than everyone else and bought me clothes two sizes bigger to make look better.

Apparently step-mother lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago. (i don't know if that's really true, I haven't spoken to either one in about 15 years. I will have my surgery before then and I'm certain I'll get more comments about having had the surgery so I'm just not going to tell them.

The worst comments always come from those closest to us. Family really stinks sometimes.