I had my surgery 2/21/20. I am down from 253 to 198. Finally made it to "ONE-derland," a place I haven't been in a very long time!

I should be thrilled and excited, but yet, I am depressed.

Let's face it, this surgery requires a whole new lifestyle. I'm kind of feeling isolated. When everyone around me is eating and drinking, and having fun I feel left out.

Drinking with friends was a big part of my life. Get togethers always centered around lots of food and drink.

Now, even when I cook a nice dinner for my family, I can have a bite or two, while everyone else is enjoying platefuls of food.

I didn't expect to feel this way. I guess I thought of all the positives but didn't really consider the negatives.

Has anyone else felt left our out isolated? Anyone else miss their old lifestyle, even a little?

Funny, I thought that losing weight would help me to "fit in" more, but now I feel like I "fit in" even less.

Congratulations on your weight loss but I’m sorry you are not enjoying your success so far. Unfortunately what you’re currently experiencing is part of the other hard work you have to do during this process: changing the role food plays in your life.

I wish I had a simple answer for you but there isn’t one.

At first I was reluctant to socialise with my girlfriends who are big eaters & drinkers. Part of that was being worried there wouldn’t be anything I could eat or drink but the other bigger part was thinking I wouldn’t fit in because I couldn’t participate in the same way.

It took time for me to realise we still had a great time together, laughing, teasing & supporting each other, gossiping... even if I was sipping a single gin & tonic over an hour or so or didn’t drink at all & only nibbled on a piece of cheese & an olive or two. We’re friends because of who we are & how we feel about each other not because of what we eat & drink together. This was the ding, ding, ding moment for me. Importantly too, it helped me to feel comfortable in social situations with other people.

Honestly though, my girlfriends know I had the surgery & I think it helped me come to this understanding because they’ve never commented on me eating & drinking so little (except to say more for them ?.) Another reason I like them.

I hope you can work your way through this so you can enjoy being with your friends & family & also revel in your weight loss success. You deserve it.

of course it does but run the journey you will love it

The head games are brutal but look ahead and look at how much you have done already - You have a addiction just like me and all of us but the reward for being healthy is great

You will crash we all do but find a new outlook on life It took a puppy for me but F@#ck you got this just focus and get you head in order!

Congrads on the weight loss and keeep it up trust me you will love the new you

Life is filled with moments both up and down, so we pick our poison so to speak. I have a boatload of pre WLS depressed memories from over the years from ‘the mourning’s after’ (pun intended) “Why did I eat & drink so much?! This head is banging and I feel so bloated!” Often times, I had been doing so well on whatever fad diet I was chasing at the moment to lose weight, only to trash it by a day or evening of wild gastronomic abandon.

I don’t miss the self loathing that went with that lifestyle, catching a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror was too much to bare (pun intended again). When I find myself “missing that life”, I grab a quick memory of ALL that lifestyle gave me—a few moments of pleasure and loads piled high of downside.

Your family and friendships sound like true friendships that are supporting the new you... nurse that single gin and tonic and Smile Eternally for The Gift you are working so hard to have!! We are controlling life, it is no longer controlling us!

Edited August 17, 20205 yr by Lily66

10 hours ago, amboyle728 said:

I had my surgery 2/21/20. I am down from 253 to 198. Finally made it to "ONE-derland," a place I haven't been in a very long time!

I should be thrilled and excited, but yet, I am depressed.

Let's face it, this surgery requires a whole new lifestyle. I'm kind of feeling isolated. When everyone around me is eating and drinking, and having fun I feel left out.

Drinking with friends was a big part of my life. Get togethers always centered around lots of food and drink.

Now, even when I cook a nice dinner for my family, I can have a bite or two, while everyone else is enjoying platefuls of food.

I didn't expect to feel this way. I guess I thought of all the positives but didn't really consider the negatives.

Has anyone else felt left our out isolated? Anyone else miss their old lifestyle, even a little?

Funny, I thought that losing weight would help me to "fit in" more, but now I feel like I "fit in" even less.

Perhaps it is time to develop some new get togethers, not all all of them need to be about eating and drinking. Fun times can be had doing other things that you all enjoy.

Maybe a session or two with a counsellor/therapist may help you turn all this around, turn some of those perceied negatives into more positives.