When I told my immediate supervisors that I was approved and my surgery is scheduled they said they were excited for me. And they asked if I’m excited. Honestly, I’m not. I think maybe a few years ago I might have been. But now that it’s all finally under way I feel a little... morose? Maybe because I actually understand it’s not a magic bullet and I still have to work the tool to make it work for me? I guess I’ve failed so many times... this time will be very visible. I’m worried that I won’t stick to the plan and cut out half my stomach for nothing. I have also spent too many years of my life unhappy that thin was never possible. Maybe now thin will be possible. I’m a little afraid to hope for thinness. I’m used to settling for “less fat.” I’m glad I have this opportunity and I don’t want to waste it. But I’m also not looking forward to the mental drain of meal planning and re-learning how to eat. I want to feel better and have more energy with my family. I’m just not feeling “excited.” Anyone out there understand how I’m feeling?

I think most of us have mixed feelings. Excitement. Fear. Maybe dissappointed that we needed the surgery, but relieved that we have the option of surgery. Whatever you are felling is normal!

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I am both nervous and excited. I have always been, at the very least, chubby. Like you, I have always settled for being 'less fat', rather than going for thin, or even in-shape. My weight has gone up and down (with a focus on going up) ever since I can remember and I never thought this surgery or being thin was something that would ever happen to 'me'. I have gotten used to being 'the fat friend', to having to wear certain things because of how I feel about my body, and having to even filter how I speak in public because of my insecurity.

Learning how to mindfully eat and use food for fuel, rather than to fill a temporary emotional void, will, no doubt, be hard, but the mental struggle of getting that fat girl mentality out of my head once I actually achieve my goal is a whole other story, I imagine..

I've been on the keto diet myself (pre-op) and it has helped a lot with helping me focus on protein while being mindful of my fat and carb intake. Still, its not always easy. I am someone who loves to cook and am constantly looking up recipes, or seeing them pop up in my timeline on Facebook, and I can't tell you how many times I have thought about what I could make from the unhealthy choices real quick. I haven't though. And I honestly think its because of these forums. Use the tool your doctors have given you to lose the weight, and use these forums for the support you need to keep you going. Track everything! You got this! ♥

The fact that you understand surgery is just a tool and that there is still a lot of work involved says to me that you are ready and will do very well. It's totally understandable that you are not excited per se based on the difficult months ahead. However, you can feel excited about the ultimate outcome. That should help you stay focused when things get rough.

Like others, I'm excited and scared/nervous. We have had to limit the amount of people we are updating on my progress due to such a back lash about it last year. I was able to make a final operation date Monday and was so hyped and excited, I wanted to get on social media and be like I'M GETTING IT DONE B!t(HES!! . A'las , I did not. And probably will not. (Okay, well maybe the day of operation I may LOL).

Scared, nervous, oh yeah. Its a life changing event. Its a big thing. Having organs removed or rerouted. I did laugh when my doc told me that I was at higher risk for complications having my gall bladder taken out, then having my sleeve operation. Then its just having everything before and after. Then its the questions of what if it doesn't work. What if I am that .03% of people that have issues.

Disappointment came for me a bit ago. When normal weight loss diet/training/pills etc wouldn't work. The sleeve for me is a "last resort".

14 hours ago, fiddlinjellybean said:

When I told my immediate supervisors that I was approved and my surgery is scheduled they said they were excited for me. And they asked if I’m excited. Honestly, I’m not. I think maybe a few years ago I might have been. But now that it’s all finally under way I feel a little... morose? Maybe because I actually understand it’s not a magic bullet and I still have to work the tool to make it work for me? I guess I’ve failed so many times... this time will be very visible. I’m worried that I won’t stick to the plan and cut out half my stomach for nothing. I have also spent too many years of my life unhappy that thin was never possible. Maybe now thin will be possible. I’m a little afraid to hope for thinness. I’m used to settling for “less fat.” I’m glad I have this opportunity and I don’t want to waste it. But I’m also not looking forward to the mental drain of meal planning and re-learning how to eat. I want to feel better and have more energy with my family. I’m just not feeling “excited.” Anyone out there understand how I’m feeling?

2 hours ago, Khoric Ritter said:

Like others, I'm excited and scared/nervous. We have had to limit the amount of people we are updating on my progress due to such a back lash about it last year. I was able to make a final operation date Monday and was so hyped and excited, I wanted to get on social media and be like I'M GETTING IT DONE B!t(HES!! . A'las , I did not. And probably will not. (Okay, well maybe the day of operation I may LOL).

Scared, nervous, oh yeah. Its a life changing event. Its a big thing. Having organs removed or rerouted. I did laugh when my doc told me that I was at higher risk for complications having my gall bladder taken out, then having my sleeve operation. Then its just having everything before and after. Then its the questions of what if it doesn't work. What if I am that .03% of people that have issues.

Disappointment came for me a bit ago. When normal weight loss diet/training/pills etc wouldn't work. The sleeve for me is a "last resort".

13 hours ago, BoredFatGirl said:

I am both nervous and excited. I have always been, at the very least, chubby. Like you, I have always settled for being 'less fat', rather than going for thin, or even in-shape. My weight has gone up and down (with a focus on going up) ever since I can remember and I never thought this surgery or being thin was something that would ever happen to 'me'. I have gotten used to being 'the fat friend', to having to wear certain things because of how I feel about my body, and having to even filter how I speak in public because of my insecurity.

Learning how to mindfully eat and use food for fuel, rather than to fill a temporary emotional void, will, no doubt, be hard, but the mental struggle of getting that fat girl mentality out of my head once I actually achieve my goal is a whole other story, I imagine..

I've been on the Keto diet myself (pre-op) and it has helped a lot with helping me focus on Protein while being mindful of my fat and carb intake. Still, its not always easy. I am someone who loves to cook and am constantly looking up recipes, or seeing them pop up in my timeline on Facebook, and I can't tell you how many times I have thought about what I could make from the unhealthy choices real quick. I haven't though. And I honestly think its because of these forums. Use the tool your doctors have given you to lose the weight, and use these forums for the support you need to keep you going. Track everything! You got this! ♥

I worried for a second about some of the same things... just stay on this forum and gain every bit of knowledge about the aspects of wls that you can absorb. and trust me when the time for your surgery get here you will be so mentally ready. as the for eating after if you do what is told to you by your surgeon , nutritionalist you will see that it is totally doable. first of all you will have a smaller stomach which will help you to not overeat and most of the things you feel about food now will definitely change . and once you see the weight coming off trust me you will quickly get with the program even more... soooo get excited ….. The best is yet to come,,,,, please keep me posted …..im gonna follow you on this forum...Congratulations on making the best decision ever!

Edited February 12, 20206 yr by november11

I completely understand how you're feeling. I've struggled with my weight for 30 years.

It's next to impossible to do something this drastic and life changing without feeling a whole range of emotions--fear, excitement, anticipation, etc, and after you've had the surgery a period of "buyers remorse" in the form of "what the HELL did I just do to myself?" Thankfully most of the negative emotions disappear quickly once you see results and those feelings will be replaced with "why didn't I do this sooner?"

I have no advice for you, just empathy. After 20 years of trying stuff that is supposed to work and having it not work, I am terrified this will be the same.

I'd echo the poster who said your recognition of it not being a magic bullet is a very positive thing. It isn't. And when you succeed you understand it's the beginning of a longer journey, I went down to 8 stone 2 (114lbs) and now 9stone 9 (134lbs). I'm 5"4. I was too thin at the lower weight, but went up to 140 and felt worried about the creeping gain. Then I realised I was playing stupid games with sugar and that sugar was as dangerous to me as booze or drugs are (I'm in recovery most of my adult life)l

The point is we eat, use, whatever it is, for a reason. And the more of our behaviours we strip away, the more we're left facing our essential selves, and that is not fun.

So, invest in your mind too: do therapy if you can afford it, research other ways of reflection if you can't. I'm in the uk and paid for my op. I'm still paying for it but it's ok. I LOVE being slim. It gives me at least one smile every day, but the trick is learning there are other things to smile about.

So yes, feel your fear, excitement, anticipation, terror even. Feel it all. And throw yourself into a fabulous journey into the unknown - you!