Hi!
My surgery is scheduled for Dec 4th. I’m ready to go, finished with Dr’s and pretty much on protein shakes a day and a sensible dinner. My husband is trying to discourage the surgery feeling that I can do it naturally and that it’s not safe, even though I have battled with my weight all my life. I have had 7 prior surgeries and haven’t had the best track record regarding complications. I think I probably could lose some of my weight naturally, however as most of u know it’s maintaining it that’s the real issue. I need to stay positive but it’s difficult when my husband is praising me for the 12 pounds I have lost since starting this new journey and thinking “he” can support me through my “ binges” and food addition.
Any advice asI am really conflicted. Every time I see my nutritionist or come from a support group meeting I’m on board, but when my husband sounds so sensible in that the surgery carries many risk factors/ side effects I feel like I should not have the surgery.

Hi

I initially my husband was also very concerned with the risks.

However once I clearly explained my reasoning and assured him that I wasn’t able to weight loss without surgical help he did come round.

He was great once I had the surgery on Oct 24.

Im so glad I had this done- do it for you x

Good luck! Xx

The risks are minimal and you are far more likely to die from the excess weight than the surgery. My husband who is also a nurse was worried for me too, in fact he was more nervous than me! His concerns were that I'd die on the table or have serious complications. Of course being me, I did have serious complications and was in hospital for 2 weeks and had to have an emergency bypass but once through that, all was well, slow progress after 2 major ops but all good. He was also very aware that for the last 15 years i have tried every diet on the planet to lose weight and keep it off. I was starting to show signs of metabolic syndrome and he knew if i didn't do something permanent i could well be dead from my weight in ten years.
Surgery is scary but not as scary as doing nothing. You know in your heart if this really is the right path for you. So make your decision explain to him you understand his fears but ultimately it is your decision and you NEED him to respect and support it. Good luck [emoji4]

On 11/12/2019 at 9:49 AM, lvidacovich said:

This is not directed at anyone in particular but I think that WLS exposes bad relationships but makes good ones stronger. At least I hope.

100% agree!

Oh no I'm sorry, it is a time full of major changes! My relationship has gotten better (I"M 10 mos out) but He goes to all support meetings and participated and tries to really learn. Tell him that you don't want this to hurt your relationship and that you would like him to come with you, and learn about what people go through, and how things change. Tell him you want to change and grow with him by your side.

Yes! Bad relationships usually end in splitting! Strong ones will thrive and you will be closer!

Since losing the weight, I feel like my marriage got even better. But not just my marriage, but my other relationships as well (including my own relationship with myself) I gained a sh*tload of confidence and patience, as well let go of a lot of hangups and anger. This change in me does wonders in how I relate to others. My marriage totally benefits from it.

On the flip side of things though, I also don't have room in my life anymore for those who I deem unhealthy for me and mine. I am no longer so eager to please nor do I bend over backwards to keep peace. So yeah, good relationships will flourish, not-so-good ones will fall by the wayside.