Hi All

Ive been lurking a while but afraid to jump in.

I have a surgery date 5/21 at Orange Coast Hospital with Dr Oliak, in SoCal. Sill in my pre-op diet, I've lost 10 lbs have 7 more to go.

As we get closer, I'm starting to stress out a little. I'm still very motivated. Im 40 with high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I've tried every diet out there and my weight has continued to go up. And the non scale failure that pushed me over the edge- I was working out with my daughter, weightlifting and I my belly was too big to deadlift, I was so embarrassed. There are 2 things that worry me:

1. I'm afraid that I won't be happy not being able eat as much as I do. I'm a huge foodie, and so much of my families adventures are food related.

2. My wife. She is super supportive, but I still worry. I am keeping this private from most people. My wife has the same BMI as I do, around 40. I'm worried as people notice my rapid weight loss and comment, that it will make her uncomfortable. You know, Eric is loosing weight what's your problem? We have talked about it and she says it wont be an issue. We have been married for almost 20 years and are solid but I worry.

Anyway thanks for listening. Looking forward to connections and support. Any questions please ask.

MedicVSG, Don't worry about your wife. Once she sees how well you are doing she will probably want to do something herself. I'm foodie as well, I even write food reviews on occasion for a local publication. I'm just going to have to let that part of my life go. In fact I've been thinking rechanneling it into a healthy lifestyle blog or something we will see. I love to go on cruises and cruises are ALL about eating... but I have decided that the first cruise after surgery will be on where I make it a challenge to eat as healthy as possible, seek out small, healthy meals. 8 years ago I lost 100 pounds and I went on a cruise and lost 7 pounds while on the 10 day cruise!!! So I know I can do this if I put my mind to it and so can you. Hang in there.

I just had my surgery May 1st and had some of the same fears as it relates to food. I can say that I am not hungry and do NOT feel like I am missing out. I can't see any reason that you can't still be a foodie after the sleeve. Your portions will be smaller- so springing for fresh, organic ingredients (fish, veggies, cuts of meat, etc...) will be a wash as you focus on quality over quantity. There are sites like the bariatric foodie that I have been looking at. I think that your relationship with food will change, but it has to if you want a healthier lifestyle. The positive is that you can choose a smaller portion and be satisfied. A portion size more in line with what we should have been eating all along.

As far as your spouse, I can't say anything because mine is not overweight. What I can say is that i have family and friends that struggle with their weight and my future success with this surgery could plant a seed in just one of them to take control of their health (with or without surgery). As your wife embarks on this journey with you she is at a disadvantage. Unfortunately, for her, you will have a tool that limits your portion size and gives you a satisfied feeling and she will not. Good luck and keep us posted!!!

4 minutes ago, melmssc said:

I just had my surgery May 1st and had some of the same fears as it relates to food. I can say that I am not hungry and do NOT feel like I am missing out. I can't see any reason that you can't still be a foodie after the sleeve. Your portions will be smaller- so springing for fresh, organic ingredients (fish, veggies, cuts of meat, etc...) will be a wash as you focus on quality over quantity. There are sites like the bariatric foodie that I have been looking at. I think that your relationship with food will change, but it has to if you want a healthier lifestyle. The positive is that you can choose a smaller portion and be satisfied. A portion size more in line with what we should have been eating all along.

As far as your spouse, I can't say anything because mine is not overweight. What I can say is that i have family and friends that struggle with their weight and my future success with this surgery could plant a seed in just one of them to take control of their health (with or without surgery). As your wife embarks on this journey with you she is at a disadvantage. Unfortunately, for her, you will have a tool that limits your portion size and gives you a satisfied feeling and she will not. Good luck and keep us posted!!!

Thanks for the thoughts- my food relationship definitely must change. I'm too young to have the medical complications I do.

My wife has been sending me posts and questions about VSG. I think she is starting to play around with the idea it. But I'd never even bring it up as a suggestion. It has to be completely her journey with me walking beside her, never behind pushing.

Maybe at this stage I'm looking for reasons to worry.

I consider myself something of a foodie too, and while intentionally NOT DIETING the past decade (because it always made me sicker and fatter in the medium to long term) I had been working on resolving any problematic eating behaviours (late night snacking, eating take away when I'm not organised/well enough to cook etc). I've always been the only cook in our family, and have been dating my husband since I was 15.

I also discovered over time some of the food intolerances I've developed, with Aspartame, Soy and MSG (in it's many hidden/processed forms) being primary headache triggers for me, and present in pretty much all take away and processed food. So even though I wasn't dieting, I was progressively moving towards healthier from-scratch cooking for other health reasons. When I did previously have potato or corn chips, I'd only have the plain ones, to avoid all the flavorings and MSG, and I'd either have the REAL ice cream/sugar rather than the artificial sweeteners that made me ill - thankfully stevia is a newer sweetener option that seems to agree with my system.

While my diet is modified at the moment with the post surgery liquid/puree/soft solid stages, I will eventually be back to eating the same good healthy natural foods I (and my family) were eating pre-surgery, just in smaller amounts, and without any breads/rice/pasta/extras adding in extra unnecessary calories. I have been developing a large veggie patch where I grow quite a lot of our veggies now, and am happy that when feeding the naturally home grown stuff to my family we get fresher, better tasting and more nutrient dense food (I scrambled the past few weeks to get this years carrots, broccoli, snow and sugar snap peas, garlic and onions all planted pre-op).

I make real chicken stock from scratch for our soups, I cook at lot of our chicken and steak sous vide for delicious flavor and texture (the super-soft chicken will be extra good for my soft foods phase!), I just need to steer clear of pasta/rice based dishes for myself, but still enjoy making the odd spag bol or creamy tuna mornay for my family to enjoy.

Now more than ever there are better quality/health food options available everywhere, and most cafes and restaurants should offer plenty of suitable options for bariatric patients who are well into regular food phases. I very much look forward to new years dutch oilebollen at my parents house this year, but will likely be thouroughly enjoying and savouring one or two, not 6+ and it will probably be my breakfast and half of my lunch that day

With regards to your wife, I expect things will be fine. Other peoples comments about your weight or weightloss are going to suck whatever situation you find yourself in. You may find that your surgery success does prompt your wife to more seriously consider surgery herself later, or to just work to improve her own food and portion size choices in a way which complements your future eating together. My husband is 6'3" and built pretty solid, currently 106kg (I've almost made it below his weight 5 days post op, woohoo) and should probably be about 90kg to be in "normal" BMI, he is super happy for me, and we will just see what happens with his weight as I become less prone to illness and exhaustion and am more keen for things like bushwalking and other more physical activities with the kids.

Good luck to you, and I think you're making a great decision for your future health.

There are many husbands and wives that have both had the VSG after seeing the success that their spouse had. I think that it is a good thing that she is being self- informed about the surgery whether she decides in the end if it is right for her or not. It shows you that she takes your health very serious for her to research the procedure and send you things. It is so important to have the support of your family and friends, because it is a "new normal" for everyone.

I worried a lot, but then had to say that it is my life and my decision. I do not want a life riddled with health problems and prescriptions for obesity related diseases. I am also capable of making the most out of my sleeve right now. I am relatively healthy and am active. In a few years going down the path I was on, I might not be able to say that and any surgery or weight loss attempt would be a major uphill battle.

Interesting observance:There were more males having gastric surgery at my hospital than women during my stay. I would go to support groups and seminars and it was always 10 to 1 women to men. It could be just a fluke, but it was at least a 3 to 1 ratio of men to women during my recovery.

My husband is 6'1" (he says 6'2" haha) and 205# right now and while he loves that I am losing weight, he is also now motivated to get down to <190#. I am staying silent on the subject and simply providing healthy, low carb dinners for us. He's on his own for his remaining meals. I think your approach to not push your wife but stand by whatever her decision is right on he mark.

Edited May 7, 20188 yr by Apple203

He is going to have to bring,his healthy A-Game. keep up with the leaner Hot Mama he' s gotten now. I forecast a lot of silly reindeer games your Apple Orchard ahead!??

2 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

He is going to have to bring,his healthy A-Game. keep up with the leaner Hot Mama he' s gotten now. I forecast a lot of silly reindeer games your Apple Orchard ahead!??

LOL, that sounds good over here!

Thanks everyone!!

This is so true I'm glad it was posted and other people respond . It's a process of learning to work on all the food related emotions food events and also sometimes with our food eating partners. This is my experience to, my husband and I met on a hike over 10 years ago. He had lost 100 lbs and i was 65 lbs thinner then I am now at 248, and I still had weight to lose then also. As time has went on eating out and other things getting comfortable the relationship thing.. He has put on all of his weight and so have I. He is very supportive with my surgery tomorrow as a matter of fact! He has lost 40 and it will motivative him just last night he said he's going to juice again . I think when we have eating partners with weight problems it can be sometimes harder for the person not having the surgery because there happy , eating partner is gone and that part of eating together in different ways is going to change. So they have their own emotions and to feelings to process. I think once she sees you making the lifestyle changes and losing weight she will either start to eat like you and lose it on her own or possibly consider the surgery. Everyone that is around family ,friends etc will have to adjust there emotions and feelings as they will not be used to the new look of you. But I hope the health part is the thing that they will understand that this is for your over all health and wellbeing on every level. We all love food me too! But food is fuel and and the potions here in this country and probably others is way out of control. I'm so excited to start to feel better again and healthier and be able to do more things and also not worry. Every time we fly I'm paced in like a sardine! Flying is the worst when your overweight. Good -luck you will be fine we all have some food grieving to do.

On 5/7/2018 at 4:51 AM, MedicVSG said:

My wife has been sending me posts and questions about VSG. I think she is starting to play around with the idea it. But I'd never even bring it up as a suggestion. It has to be completely her journey with me walking beside her, never behind pushing.

You are very wise, Yoda!

Did you have your surgery yesterday? Are you feeling ok?

Thanks for checking in. :). Yes I got sleeved yesterday afternoon. And I’m feeling really well. I’m tolerating water although there is a little discomfort, but no nausea. Just had my first meal protein veg broth 6 oz. and 2 oz of protein jello. Probably over an hour.

And kind of a cool experience my respiratory therapist shared that he was sleeved a year ago and is down 100 pounds. He’s a veteran like I am and it was so useful to make that connection.