Having second thoughts

[Ivy Joel 12]

hey guys, i figured i'd give this a try. i have about a month before i finish all my pre reqs my insurance requires before surgery, and I'm starting to freak out. i have a good friend who got the bypass, and she tells me things that shes gone through and its kind of sending me into a tailspin even though my surgeon recommended the sleeve ffor me. She is almost 1 year post op and a few weeks ago she said she had a bite of a cookie and she got sick. i know the bypass is different but It still freaks me out. will i not be able to even have a bite of something like a cookie? and taking multiple Vitamins everyday for the rest of your life sounds daunting. just a whole bunch of thoughts going through my head like that i wont be able to take it back once i do it, and what if it affects my day to day life much more than i planned or expected? Was hoping for some feedback about your experiences especially the first year post op--are these thoughts normal? i dont have any medical conditions from being over weight as of yet i guess that makes this decision a bit easier to make, if that makes sense. thanks in advance.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Bypass people have dumping syndrome. Sleeve folks really don't. We can get nauseated a little if we eat too much sugary stuff...but not like the bypass folks. They get seriously sick. It passes...but it looks miserable.

I have no problems having a a bite of my hubby's desert when we go out. In fact...I kinda wish I had more issues because I really like sugar and it's empty calories that are not a great idea. I had a bite of a Cadbury Egg on Easter...OMG...was crazy sweet...but I didn't get sick. Did want a big glass of Water, though...lol...bleh!

But seriously....you will not have any problem having a couple of bites of pretty much anything. You need to worry much more about falling into old habits.

The Vitamins are no big deal. I take Flinstone's chewables and a some extra D and B vitamins (also chewable) and Calcium. It sounds like a pain in the arse....but it's no big deal at all. You get used to it. (and it beats the heck out of the prescription drugs I used to take)

Sometimes people need a while to be "ready" for surgery.

My first consult was almost 20 years ago.

On the one hand...I wish I'd had it done sooner because I feel so much better. My energy is awesome and I feel terrific.

On the other hand...I'm kinda glad I waited for sleeve.

Just keep weighing the risks against the benefits. You'll get there when you're ready.

But yeah....I'm so so so glad I had surgery:) Love my sleeve!

[Mhy12784 423]

From my experience

I had a sleeve 6 months ago. I've lost almost all the weight I've wanted to, I feel great, look great. I can eat anything I want (I choose not to eat ****, but I'm certainly more than capable of eating a cookie if I so wanted)

I've gone to bars and had mixed drinks, and shots.

I'll concede I haven't tried anything carbonated (soda, beer, diet soda) but I'm almost positive I'd be fine as long as I didn't have a ton.

Smoking is a big no no, but why would anyone do that anyways.

This isn't a bypass, the commitment is certainly substantially less. Which means you'll have to show more willpower than wanting Cookies to be truly successful.

But I did have carbohydrate cravings early on, and there was a few nights I had (whole wheat) Pasta without issue.

The biggest thing is you'll have to learn to chew well and eat slower. As long as you do those things I'm sure you'll be able to tolerate the overwhelming majority of foods if not all of them.

[allwet 868]

35 minutes ago, Ivy Joel said:

i not be able to even have a bite of something like a cookie? and taking multiple Vitamins everyday for the rest of your life sounds daunting

Ivy, get out of your head. You are going to get into a terrible mental feedback loop and scare the hell out of yourself for no reason.

1 sleeve is not bypass.

2 you will be able to eat foods you want. hopefully you will not want to but that will be your choice.

3 malabsorption like seen in bypass is great reduced to none existent in sleeve. millions of people without wls pop a Multivitamin everyday just for **** and giggles.

4 please keep in mind the risk to your life that being overweight brings and think of the things you will be able to do when you weigh less. great post here about all the things you look forward to doing when you dont worry about your weight. look for it and spend some time reading thru it and see if you connect with some of these ideas

[magpie26 244]

I get what you're feeling, I freaked out off and on too. I am also basically "just plain overweight" although i did find out that I have MINOR sleep apnea, but I only need a mouth guard not a CPAP for it. And I have several friends and my own mom who have had the bypass. My mom had the bypass 12 years ago, and she has had to have to do B12 shots, Iron transfusions, has had all sorts of stuff happen, BUT that was 12 years ago, and it was a bypass, not a sleeve. I said I would NEVER , EVER do WLS, but here I am, one week post op with my sleeve.

my mom has told me (many times) not to mourn for food, yes you can have a bite of a cookie, BUT is it worth it when it comes down to it? Food is fuel, I keep telling myself that. I have to cook for my family, I'm still in liquids, I want what they have, but I want better self esteem, a longer life expectancy and smaller clothes more. Some will fail, but some will succeed and be here years from now rocking an awesome picture. I know a lady who had a bypass 2 years ago and now she is heavier than before. If you want this, you will succeed. 12 years out and my mom has gained 20, but she got down so low she looked sick. You can do it!

[Ivy Joel 12]

thanks everyone i appreciate the feedback. i am definitely in my head i am one of those people that imagines worst case scenario about pretty much everything i do. it just scared me that i wouldnt be able to live a normal life if, like i said worst case scenario -- i cant tolerate multiple foods or something like that. i want to be able to go to bbqs and go on vacation and not have to stress that they wont have the minimal amount of foods i might only be able to tolerate after surgery, again i know unlikely and worst case scenario. i am gla love the taste of healthy foods that are actually good for me my prroblem was more portion related. i can definitely tell how much better i feel when i dont eat a bunch of crap. its so obvious. but thinking i couldnt go to 1 of the hundreds of family parties my fiances family has each year (huge family as opposed to mine which is tiny) and not have a bite of their bday cake or something like that just seemed so depressing to me. but im sure even if that was the case, the positives would still outweigh the negatives

[Ivy Joel 12]

8 minutes ago, magpie26 said:

my mom has told me (many times) not to mourn for food, yes you can have a bite of a cookie, BUT is it worth it when it comes down to it?

i totally agree. i always just say your body is a machine and food is the fuel to keep that body going. but i also think that, with new deeply ingrained habits, that moderation is key. i dont want to not let myself have a bite of a cookie every once in a while, or a bite of cake at a birthday party, whereas before i wouldve eaten 6 Cookies or a large piece of cake. are cheat meals a thing after this surgery? like once a month you get to have a slightly unhealthy meal, in a much smaller portion? or does that negate the whole point? maybe it just depends on the individual. i feel like im looking for black and white answers in a very grey area.

[Mhy12784 423]

1 minute ago, Ivy Joel said:

i totally agree. i always just say your body is a machine and food is the fuel to keep that body going. but i also think that, with new deeply ingrained habits, that moderation is key. i dont want to not let myself have a bite of a cookie every once in a while, or a bite of cake at a birthday party, whereas before i wouldve eaten 6 Cookies or a large piece of cake. are cheat meals a thing after this surgery? like once a month you get to have a slightly unhealthy meal, in a much smaller portion? or does that negate the whole point? maybe it just depends on the individual. i feel like im looking for black and white answers in a very grey area.

Depends on the person

Some people can eat a cheat meal and go back to doing the right things the right way. Thats fine.

Some people can eat a cheat meal and be like an alcoholic having one drink, and spiral out of control into a path of addiction and destruction.

Obviously only one of those people "can" have a cheat meal.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

The cool thing about sleeve...is that if you cheat...you don't go 1200 calories over a cliff.

You have something decadent and outrageous....ok....so how many calories are in about 5 bites of that?

Cause really...that's all you're gonna want. After that, you're gonna feel Thanksgiving stuffed.

Even if you fall off the wagon a little...you don't do quite so much damage.

Food's importance changes. Lots of things change.

They're healthy changes.

[Mhy12784 423]

4 minutes ago, Creekimp13 said:

The cool thing about sleeve...is that if you cheat...you don't go 1200 calories over a cliff.

You have something decadent and outrageous....ok....so how many calories are in about 5 bites of that?

Cause really...that's all you're gonna want. After that, you're gonna feel Thanksgiving stuffed.

Even if you fall off the wagon a little...you don't do quite so much damage.

Food's importance changes. Lots of things change.

They're healthy changes.

That very much depends on what you cheat with.

French fries or something sure, youll be limited.

But a milk shake or something rich and decadent. Or even candy and you can still screw yourself a bit. I mean you wont be eating 4,000 calorie meals anytime soon, but 1000 + calories in a sitting is very possible if you pick the right wrong stuff.

That said youd have to make some terrible decisions

Edited April 25, 2018 by Mhy12784

[magpie26 244]

55 minutes ago, Ivy Joel said:

i totally agree. i always just say your body is a machine and food is the fuel to keep that body going. but i also think that, with new deeply ingrained habits, that moderation is key. i dont want to not let myself have a bite of a cookie every once in a while, or a bite of cake at a birthday party, whereas before i wouldve eaten 6 Cookies or a large piece of cake. are cheat meals a thing after this surgery? like once a month you get to have a slightly unhealthy meal, in a much smaller portion? or does that negate the whole point? maybe it just depends on the individual. i feel like im looking for black and white answers in a very grey area.

I agree. And even if they say they don't, everyone cheats a little sometimes. Like the others said, you can cheat but only so much in one sitting. If we've learned and USED our tools we know that ok, back to Protein and good stuff. There's a few that cheat and then have that HUGE big gulp everyday, and while you can't physically eat a whole pizza in one sitting, people can damn sure try to accomplish it by days end, along with liquid calories, booze, etc.

I've watched my mom and friends over these years, my mom still dumps (rarely, but it happens) they know what they can have or not. Journal, (I hate it half the time, but keeps me on track!) Pre and post op support groups (local). I made friend with my hospital roommate. I do talk therapy, but not just about food, I don't have food issues like some. I just eat the wrong things.

and have a bite, it won't kill you. I'm just starting out, maybe I'm not the best person ever to give advice, but I've flip flopped like you, I struggled with the loss of eating favorite things too, and I've seen the other people's struggle. I made up my mind to do this for me. And the Vitamins, pshhh no big deal. I take a million pills/supplements so you just do a night routine. Feel free to message me. I was there only a few weeks ago

[Ivy Joel 12]

So i guess a good thing i have going for me is i dont really like many other drinks besides Water and i rarely drink. If i do, its mostly a fruit juice watered down because most are so sweet. I hate carbonation so at least i dont have to mourn soda. But i do LOVE fruit i mean i love it i could freeze and eat a whole bag of grapes and have eaten a whole cantelope. I am so afraid with the sugar content that i wont be able to enjoy fruit as much. Especially in the summer its the perfect snack.

Sent from my SM-G920T using BariatricPal mobile app

[magpie26 244]

10 hours ago, Ivy Joel said:

So i guess a good thing i have going for me is i dont really like many other drinks besides Water and i rarely drink. If i do, its mostly a fruit juice watered down because most are so sweet. I hate carbonation so at least i dont have to mourn soda. But i do LOVE fruit i mean i love it i could freeze and eat a whole bag of grapes and have eaten a whole cantelope. I am so afraid with the sugar content that i wont be able to enjoy fruit as much. Especially in the summer its the perfect snack.

Sent from my SM-G920T using BariatricPal mobile app

The one thing I've noticed (and I'm a newbie post -op but...) Is since the mandatory full liquid diets I've been on (we have 2 trial runs and then the BIG pre-op liquid diet one for 14 days before surgery) I now look at everything and check fruits and other things in my calorie king book (I did find another one that has Protein in it) my kid put 2 bananas in her smoothie, that was 60 carbs! Her "healthy" smoothie was 450+ calories (bananas!) Like 80 carbs barely any Fiber and 10 protein. I wasn't lecturing, because awhile back that would seem good to me.

In 3 days I (FINALLY!!) start my blended diet. My protein requirement is 70 grams minimum. It's ok, I can get 55-65 on full liquids now 9 days pre-op. 64 oz liquid. 1 c fruits, 1 c veggies, startch. It seems daunting.

At 8 weeks post-op I will be going to a wedding. I'll be damned if I don't have a bite of cake. I wish I could have a glass of wine, but I think it's too early.

oh and cheat days...did you do them before? I did. I went to My weight watchers meeting on Saturdays, then I would go through McDonald's drive through right after (I did only get a happy meal for my cheat) THEN i shopped for healthy food. But I would fall off the wagon hard and would not get back on until I gain the weight back plus more. I am basically paying $14000 out of pocket for this, I'm sick of wasting money this will work, get support, or find it here. I weighed 302 at highest. My last weigh in before surgery was 292.9,(4/2/18) surgery was 4/17/18 my current weight TODAY is 272.2 - 20.7 pounds lost in 24 days. I'm glad I've made the choice.

[XYZXYZXYZ1955 675]

I stayed with a friend for four months, starting a month after surgery. I was surrounded by things I shouldn't eat, and I sure couldn't eat much, but I did, during that four months, have Cookies and small pieces of cake and doughnuts. You *can* eat those things if you want to make that choice--but life is really better when you don't. I've been at another friend's place for the past six weeks and she's a very healthy eater--I haven't had a cookie or, god forbid, a doughnut while I'm here.

But the bottom line is that I lost weight in both places because mostly I didn't make those choices and mostly I made the right ones--protein first, some veggies, Water, etc. When you cheat you are only cheating yourself . . .

On the other hand, there's absolutely no reason to believe you will be restricted the rest of your life. I can't believe how much I can eat now compared to right after the surgery, but it's still much less than I used to--and I'm trying really hard to use this time to retrain myself to eat correctly so I can do it forever. That's the point, right?

[Olive22 13]

On 4/24/2018 at 8:27 PM, Mhy12784 said:

From my experience

I had a sleeve 6 months ago. I've lost almost all the weight I've wanted to, I feel great, look great. I can eat anything I want (I choose not to eat ****, but I'm certainly more than capable of eating a cookie if I so wanted)

I've gone to bars and had mixed drinks, and shots.

I'll concede I haven't tried anything carbonated (soda, beer, diet soda) but I'm almost positive I'd be fine as long as I didn't have a ton.

Smoking is a big no no, but why would anyone do that anyways.

This isn't a bypass, the commitment is certainly substantially less. Which means you'll have to show more willpower than wanting Cookies to be truly successful.

But I did have carbohydrate cravings early on, and there was a few nights I had (whole wheat) Pasta without issue.

The biggest thing is you'll have to learn to chew well and eat slower. As long as you do those things I'm sure you'll be able to tolerate the overwhelming majority of foods if not all of them.

I know this post is from a couple months ago, but I found it extremely helpful. Sometimes you read peoples stories on here that even after two years they still cant hold down food or barely can eat normally. Which makes you worry a lot about getting the surgery.

I am glad to see there are people who have lost the weight and can return to a modified normal diet with some splurges (bar drinking) every now and then,