Physical Intimacy?

[KatFight 207]

Hi. Because of my weight and specifically due to my large stomach, my husband and I have not been physically intimate in a very long time. Even creative positioning doesn't help and becomes embarrassing because of my size. Has anyone else experienced weight as a barrier? I'm hoping we can get back on track as I lose weight but then I think I'll have loose skin that may affect intimacy. Is there hope?

[Creekimp13 5,838]

My husband always says....ANY kind of sex is good cardio:)

We've lost a few creative positions over the years that I'm hoping to retry....but I think my arthritis might object to a couple of them:)

Sex is weird. When you think about it...even when beautiful perfect bodied people do it they pull weird faces and there are odd sounds/substances/etc. involved. Even prissy sex is odd as hell when you observe it. All those naughty bits have very odd dual roles in life, too....it's sort of a comical cosmic joke.

I say embrace your inner freak and don't stress about it.

Have good sex and don't worry about physical imperfections. We all get old and saggy in the end. Ain't none of us escapes this rodeo with perky boobs or testes. Gravity happens. So does a little extra skin. So what?

Whether you're deeply kinky or just like affectionate plain sex....you should just enjoy making each other feel good and not worry so damned much what the world thinks.

And my hubby's right....who couldn't use a little more cardio?

Go crazy...and own it. You're allowed.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

That's why I don't watch porno, sex is fun to do but ludicrous to watch. The cosmos must have a giggle when humans were created. And sorry men but your genitalia looks like a afterthought

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[MrsGamgee 756]

Honestly, I'm hoping that post-op I will get some of my old libido back. Years with type 2 diabetes has really dampened the flame. My DH is very patient with me, but I'd love to get back to a bit like the old days.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

The first time I saw a man's genitalia, I thought his guts fell out of his vagina. I was about six at the time...kinda scared me. LOL:)

[KatFight 207]

lol So, that NOT why they look like that?! lol

Very scary at 6, for sure.

From your earlier post:

[bookworm1983 28]

I thought I was the only one! Both my husband and I had weight loss surgery in December and his libido is a lot higher than mine now. I have hypothyroid and am on two meds for depression so I know that is part of the reason that my libido is so low. He is so much more affectionate and I love it but I cannot get into the mood! I want to but it is like the sex drive switch is stuck in the "off" position! It is something that I am going to address with my therapist but it is almost easier in this forum as you are not face to face with someone. And everyone you are talking with has had (or is going to have) a similar surgery as you so they can REALLY understand.

[KatFight 207]

I thought I was the only one! Both my husband and I had weight loss surgery in December and his libido is a lot higher than mine now. I have hypothyroid and am on two meds for depression so I know that is part of the reason that my libido is so low. He is so much more affectionate and I love it but I cannot get into the mood! I want to but it is like the sex drive switch is stuck in the "off" position! It is something that I am going to address with my therapist but it is almost easier in this forum as you are not face to face with someone. And everyone you are talking with has had (or is going to have) a similar surgery as you so they can REALLY understand.

[KatFight 207]

I deal w hypothyroidism and depression too. That, along with "super obesity" (that's what I was medically diagnosed), really doesn't make sexual relations easy. If I added it up, I think I had more sex before my marriage! lol I was small then. My weight started creeping up about 3 years after my husband and I were married. And, there's more to the lack of physical intimacy than weight on many occasions. We've been in a good place for several years and the intimacy doesn't follow. I'd like to have some relations at some point since I have a partner and I'm only getting older. Guess I'll be talking to my therapist too. Thanks for reaching out and understanding. Love the other comments left here too - some funny ones.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Hey guys,want a quick giggle at my expense? Late hubby and I were doing the mattress man no with me on top. Okay I WAS a little smaller then, at any rate we had just gotten a new bed and mattress. No footboard, I catapulted over the end of the bed, ended up on my back, on the floor with my feet up in the air. Kinda looked like a cross between a dead cow and a beached whale. I started to giggle and he told me to shut up before I woke up the kids. Guess he felt his best love-making efforts had been in vain.

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[KatFight 207]

Hey guys,want a quick giggle at my expense? Late hubby and I were doing the mattress man no with me on top. Okay I WAS a little smaller then, at any rate we had just gotten a new bed and mattress. No footboard, I catapulted over the end of the bed, ended up on my back, on the floor with my feet up in the air. Kinda looked like a cross between a dead cow and a beached whale. I started to giggle and he told me to shut up before I woke up the kids. Guess he felt his best love-making efforts had been in vain.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Oh My Gosh!!! Hilarious! I'm glad you were ok. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it went the way he thought it would go. lol

[Jean E. 95]

My hubby and I both had weight loss surgery last May. Most of his weight was in his tummy, you know when they look 11 months preggars. Well as he lost that his junk got bigger, or at least more of it got exposed and he was all over that. His sex drive was already that of a teenage boy but once his weight loss started he was over the top. Me, not so much. I just couldn't get there. First it was all of the challenges, and we know what they are, of being over weight, and then it became all of the new challenges post surgery, gas, skin flapping about, etc. LOL We had purchased a hot tub in March and he was in it often, me, not so much. But I started getting in it recently and we have started having sex in it often. Ladies, Water is our friend! We even get more bendy in the water. So let me just say, it is worth the investment. Now I am looking forward to actually completing my journey so I can actually look as great as I feel when I am in the hot tub. LOL! We really do need to get out of our own heads more often.

[KatFight 207]

I’ve always wanted a hot tub for sore muscles and you’ve just given me another reason to want one. “Water is our friend!” You said it and I believe it. Time to start saving .

[Creekimp13 5,838]

I've been going swimming in a heated therapy pool lately, and the idea of a hot tub is more and more appealing.