Hi, I’m scared as hell to share this but here I go. I’m very sensitive so please no nasty comments... I am scheduled for gastric bypass dec. 5th, my husband and I have two children already, I found out I was pregnant and am having a abortion. Nov. 11th. I’m afraid my hcg levels will not be 0 when I go in for surgery. And then not have the surgery. I’m afraid to tell my doctor but I think it is a must when I go in for my pre op with my PCP. Just in case when they do test my levels are still present. I’m very early 5weeks at most. I have not been on BC because of bloodclots with surgery so I have been watching my cycles and the last month I must have ovulated very late. Like 5 days before my missed period. This is not a easy choice but with my weight and to carry another baby would be dangerous and high risk. My husband is having a vasectomy soon. Has this happened to anyone?

@rucamama I wish I had some advise for you, but alll I have is support. You are brave and strong.

This must be a heartbreaking decision for you. I had an abortion due to extenuating circumstances in my life at the time so I understand this is never an easy choice to make. Stay strong and steady knowing this will be done as the best decision for you and your family. I support you too! xoxox

I know you haven't made this decision lightly, and it does sound like it's the appropriate course of action.

Do tell your doctors about it, because it will explain any HCG, and in case you need any extra medical attention.

Don't be surprised if there might be a delay for your surgery, though. The docs may want another month or so in between.

[Hugs] Good luck.

Stay strong but probably best to come clean to your team. If it has to be postponed best to do it now rather than day before. So many things are connected with a surgery like this it would be unfair to you and them.
But first things first... focus on Nov 11 for the time being. Whatever it may be you’ll still need some healing time.. physical, emotional, both... so don’t just ignore this and focus on the bylass alone. Give each procedure its due. And good luck of course!

I'm sorry t o hear that but I support you. Your health is very important so please tell your Dr. I support you and continue to stay strong.

QuitaB

Thank you to everyone for your kind words. This has been a very hard decision and strange time for me. It’s my natural instinct to want to embrace this pregnancy but can’t because I know what I have to do. I think about it all day, when I look at my children I think am I robbing them of another sibling?? Is this the girl I have ever so wanted?? Am I going to hate myself years down the road?? Am I going to resent my husband for agreeing with me for making this decision??? Ugh so many things but In the end I know what I must do. I’m debating on pushing my pre op as far as I can go with hopes of my levels being gone, but that is taking a risky chance. I’m afraid of not having my surgery before the new year for the cost of my surgery and having to wait a whole year so my cost is low again due to my deductible being already met now. And not having this baby. So I’m looking at it in a loose loose situation no surgery no baby, and dealing with the weight for another year. Just very upset with myself and how I got in the whole situation.

I'm hearing a lot of uncertainty. I think you should talk to someone (preferably a doctor) to find out just how risky this pregnancy would actually be. You should absolutely do what is right for you, but I hate for you to make this big of a decision based on an insurance deductible. Money comes and goes, but regret might be there forever.

You may also be feeling some pressure because of your hubby getting a vasectomy. You are closing the door to the possibility of a post-op pregnancy as well. (There are less permanent forms of birth control if you decide to go ahead with the surgery now, and leave the possibility of another pregnancy open for a later date after you've lost weight).

Don't worry about depriving your kids of a sibling. Kids don't like to share, anyway. This is about you and your vision of the future.

I'm hearing a lot of uncertainty. I think you should talk to someone (preferably a doctor) to find out just how risky this pregnancy would actually be. You should absolutely do what is right for you, but I hate for you to make this big of a decision based on an insurance deductible. Money comes and goes, but regret might be there forever.
You may also be feeling some pressure because of your hubby getting a vasectomy. You are closing the door to the possibility of a post-op pregnancy as well. (There are less permanent forms of birth control if you decide to go ahead with the surgery now, and leave the possibility of another pregnancy open for a later date after you've lost weight).
Don't worry about depriving your kids of a sibling. Kids don't like to share, anyway. This is about you and your vision of the future.

I know I have my mind set, I’m just venting I had to say these things to get them off my chest... I did not see another baby in our future, I envision for my self getting healthy again for myself and my family and getting back to work and taking care of myself properly. Thank you for taking the time to respond I appreciate it.

Alright, then you have a plan. I do think you're more concerned about the HCG than you have to be. Just get a note from the abortion place that you had an abortion and the date, that should take care of it for the surgery.

It will all work out, I'm sure!

You are making the right decision for you...... And I'm sure it wasn't an easy one to make. Just one word of caution....I've read that a lot of people become more fertile after surgery get that hubby snipped! All the best to you and I hope everything goes well [emoji173]️[emoji173]️

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Alright, then you have a plan. I do think you're more concerned about the HCG than you have to be. Just get a note from the abortion place that you had an abortion and the date, that should take care of it for the surgery.
It will all work out, I'm sure!

Yes I’m freaking out over the hcg levels. I went on October 28th to have the abortion originally and they did the ultrasound and was to early to see anything even on the vaginal ultrasound but my test can back positive so they moved it to Nov. 11th. I told the office manager I’m scheduled for gastric bypass surgery dec. 5th and she said I should be fine but I am going to ask for proof of procedure to show my PCP. Thank you all again for being so kind I really had no one to talk to about this besides my husband even tho he is supportive it’s not the same support you can get from your women peers whom may have had same experiences.

15 hours ago, Rucamama said:

Thank you to everyone for your kind words. This has been a very hard decision and strange time for me. It’s my natural instinct to want to embrace this pregnancy but can’t because I know what I have to do. I think about it all day, when I look at my children I think am I robbing them of another sibling?? Is this the girl I have ever so wanted?? Am I going to hate myself years down the road?? Am I going to resent my husband for agreeing with me for making this decision??? Ugh so many things but In the end I know what I must do. I’m debating on pushing my pre op as far as I can go with hopes of my levels being gone, but that is taking a risky chance. I’m afraid of not having my surgery before the new year for the cost of my surgery and having to wait a whole year so my cost is low again due to my deductible being already met now. And not having this baby. So I’m looking at it in a loose loose situation no surgery no baby, and dealing with the weight for another year. Just very upset with myself and how I got in the whole situation.

Hi sweetie,

If you absolutely feel it's the right thing to do for you, yiu should feel no hard regret.

I had an abortion almost 25 years ago. Married, 2 toddlers. I felt is wasn't fair to the two we already had and were barely affording. Still married to the same man, and those two toddlers are amazing, successful, kind and responsible adults.

No regrets. We did what we thought was right for our situation. That being that would have been really knows no different, as opposed to the living, breathing wonderful humans I raised.

Hugs to you.

Just a small update, so tomorrow is my appointment for the procedure but last Night (graphic material if grossed out sorry) I had brown discharge with some mild cramping and the discharge filled into today then late afternoon I felt a gush so I ran to the washroom and my underwear were full of bright red blood... I wiped and had small clots. I then again took another test which was still very positive. So I called the office I’m having the procedure done at and they said that I might just be bleeding they couldn’t say if I was having a miscarriage. So I will go in tomorrow to see what the doctor says. Ughh I was to early to even see anything two weeks ago I’m afraid it will still be too soon to tell if there is a heartbeat. And if I will be rescheduled again. I’m kinda hoping this is passing naturally so I don’t have to go thru the whole process. I’ve been extremely stressed so I’m thinking I might have just worked myself over. I’ve had two pregnancies and neither of them have I blead like this. Any thoughts?

People can have significant bleeding during healthy pregnancies, so it's impossible to say. Fingers crossed that the issue has resolved itself.

I had a small hemorrhage, which they said was normal, and did the procedure. Everyone was so kind and it went well. I’m feeling relieved this is over and now I can focus on my up coming surgery. Thank all you ladies for your support