4 Years Surgiverary with Progress Pics
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Wow! My 4 year surgiversary came and went this past week! I lost a total of 130 (136 pounds as of today) pounds, which puts me at 2 pounds above my lowest post-sleeve weight of 124 pounds, and I'm ok with that!
I remember in the first 2years post op feeling like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for me to wake up one morning and have gained all the weight back. But I'm realizing now that I've maintained this new normal for 4 years. That is significant! That is not a fad; that is not a passing whim; that is a new normal.
Do you know how I knew this for sure? I didn't even realize it had been 4 years since my surgery this month until someone else said something. I'm no longer counting the pounds lost (I actually needed a calculator for this post) and I'm no longer counting the months post op. In fact there are a lot of days I forget altogether that I had surgery.
It's not that I'm not eating the bariatric diet or that I'm doing what I want. It's just a perspective change. I still use myfitness pal nearly every day to count my carbs and my protein and my water, but I know that this keeps me honest and accountable. I don't eat whatever I want. I probably never do. But I no longer avoid social settings where there might be food, I no longer stress if I have 18 peanut halves instead of 17. I no longer hate myself for wearing a 6 instead of a 4.
It took a whole lot of freaking emotional work, 4 years of weekly therapy, and a lot of willingness to put in the time and energy to change.
For those of you looking for some updated progress pics, here is me from a girls' week we just had in Mexico. I basically spent the week in a string bikni which is not something I ever thought I would do. Were there girls that looked way more amazing than I did? Hell yes! But they most likely did not birth 4 children or torture their bodies through ganing and losing 130 pounds. A body doesn't just forgive you for that. You live with the saggy skin in spots, with the stretchmarks on the otherwise flat stomach because that is life and not because you have failed. It is because you've lived, and struggled, and won, and left when you needed to leave, and stayed when you needed to stay, and you demanded more from yourself and you demanded better.