Hi all! So I finally had my surgery consult the other day and I left feeling much less happy than when I went in.

Now this was my first one on one with the surgeon and I don't know if it's just me over reacting to his words or not. I am a 32 year old female, I'm 5'7" and currently weigh 285lbs. In all the research I've done it seems that for my hight, a healthy weight should be between 121 and 158. So based off of that in my mind my goal weight is 135lbs. Just mid range.

Well in my appointment he asked me my goal and when I answered him he looked at me kinda funny and said "that's not realistic, realistic is to you you just below 200lbs"

Now I understand this surgery isn't going to do it all on its own but if I put the work in, why is it so unrealistic to lose exactly 150lbs?

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Hmmm...maybe he just wants you to relax a little and not put too much pressure on yourself??? My doctor told me not to look at the "ideal" weight charts because they are compiled by insurance companies and not realistic. He never talked numbers with me. He said my goal shouldn't be a number but just to be health and comfortable with my weight. Don't be discouraged! You should go into it with your own goals and just remember to be kind to youself. 135 lbs is a long way off and maybe you'll reassess your goals as you go. As you start really living this process you'll determine which number is your healthy/happy number...maybe it'll be 135 and maybe it won't. You won't know till you get there!

My bariatric program is also very against making a set number goal. Every time I say I'm trying to get to 167 (that's high end of a "normal" BMI) they pull faces. For me, it's not that they don't think I can get there, but that they think it's unhealthy to pin your goals on a number. Instead, try to pin them on feeling a certain way.

Also, there's nothing wrong with baby steps!

Hmmm...maybe he just wants you to relax a little and not put too much pressure on yourself??? My doctor told me not to look at the "ideal" weight charts because they are compiled by insurance companies and not realistic. He never talked numbers with me. He said my goal shouldn't be a number but just to be health and comfortable with my weight. Don't be discouraged! You should go into it with your own goals and just remember to be kind to youself. 135 lbs is a long way off and maybe you'll reassess your goals as you go. As you start really living this process you'll determine which number is your healthy/happy number...maybe it'll be 135 and maybe it won't. You won't know till you get there!

Thanks! And I know all of that makes complete sense I just still have the voice in the back of my mind that reminds me of so the people on here who lose that much and my doctor just made me feel like it's not even possible.
Anything less than where I am now is healthier and I just need to keep that in mind

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My bariatric program is also very against making a set number goal. Every time I say I'm trying to get to 167 (that's high end of a "normal" BMI) they pull faces. For me, it's not that they don't think I can get there, but that they think it's unhealthy to pin your goals on a number. Instead, try to pin them on feeling a certain way.

Also, there's nothing wrong with baby steps!

Baby steps is definitely what I need to focus on! A healthier me will be a happier me no

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Baby steps is definitely what I need to focus on! A healthier me will be a happier me no

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No matter what my final weight it

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My situation is a littler different BUT I always thought my goal weight was 125lbs but when I got to 149lbs and felt AMAZING I realized that I was perfectly happy right there.

Wow, so no one seems to know the REAL reason?

Ok, so the surgery rarely gets people to a "normal" BMI. Period. I don't have the percentages exactly, but right off the top of my head... 5% go under weight, I think it's like 15% reach an ideal BMI, and the other 80% stay overweight or obese.

Doctors don't like telling their patients that they have an 80% chance of still being "overweight" at the end of their journeys, so they get creative. "Let's not focus on the number on the scale", or "we don't set goals, everyone has their own journey".

The average patient can expect to lose 65-75% of their excess weight. So for example:

Starting weight: 300lbs.

Ideal weight (top of "healthy" BMI): 150lbs

Excess weight: 150lbs

65% of excess weight: 97.5lbs

75% of excess weight: 112.5lbs

So this patient can expect to end their journey somewhere between 202.5lbs and 187.5lbs.

If this patient went in, expecting to be 140lbs, like when she graduated from high school, she would be disappointed at the idea of 190. Of course, 190 is SOOO much healthier than 300! So the surgery is absolutely worth doing for her, but she'll be the one that freaks out when the scale suddenly stops "50lbs above goal".

It's not a problem with the scale, her surgery, or her diet/exercise program. It's a problem with her expectation.

On 9/15/2017 at 9:14 AM, BecomingMeAgain said:

Hi all! So I finally had my surgery consult the other day and I left feeling much less happy than when I went in.

Now this was my first one on one with the surgeon and I don't know if it's just me over reacting to his words or not. I am a 32 year old female, I'm 5'7" and currently weigh 285lbs. In all the research I've done it seems that for my hight, a healthy weight should be between 121 and 158. So based off of that in my mind my goal weight is 135lbs. Just mid range.

Well in my appointment he asked me my goal and when I answered him he looked at me kinda funny and said "that's not realistic, realistic is to you you just below 200lbs"

Now I understand this surgery isn't going to do it all on its own but if I put the work in, why is it so unrealistic to lose exactly 150lbs?

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There is a lot of reasons for this, what @Berry78 said is correct but also...

Being obese for a long period time changes your body. Your body has to compensate for carrying the extra weight, your bones get denser (mine are 3x denser than the average person my age, don't worry they still don't weigh much) and you have more muscle mass. Knowledgeable Drs understand this. You can have a low body fat and be obese on the BMI chart, just because of muscle mass.

I'm 5'6 and I weigh in the mid 180s. I look like I weigh about 20 pounds less. This is because of a lot of loose skin and a lot of muscle mass.

I want to lose another 20 pounds but honestly I don't really need to, physically I am small enough. Losing more weight would just be for a healthy BMI//insurance purposes.

The Dr is giving you a realistic goal. All the goals I got from calculators etc were in 220 range. If I was lazy or ate the way most WLS post-op plans suggest I would have never got past 250. I got to the weight I achieved by eating a way that worked for me and by being super strict with myself to start with.

200 is realistic, 135 is obtainable if you want to. No Dr is going to tell you that though, because WLS won't get you to 135, only you can. WLS will probably get you to 200, maybe 185, the rest you are going to have to grind out yourself.