I was sleeved 07/04/2017 and I'm down 30lbs as of today (whoop whoop)!

A little background, I have a son that just turned two. Before I got pregnant my sex drive was through the roof. I had lost 150 pounds with weight watchers and had been maintaining for about 2 years at that point. Despite working out while pregnant and being mindful of what I ate, I managed to gain about 80lbs with my pregnancy. When I was about 6 months or so, my libido just DROPPED. I had zero desire to be intimate or even kiss my husband. Fast forward two years later.....and I still am struggling. I've went to the doctors multiple times and they tested my hormone levels, thyroid, you name it and everything came back fine. Not that I was hoping for bad results, but them telling me I was good to go didn't make me feel any better about the situation. I'm not sure if it is more of a mental thing that I'm struggling with and is causing me to feel this way. I met my husband when I was thin and despite him being very affectionate and understanding of what I'm going through, I just feel unattractive and would honestly rather run a marathon in Death Valley wearing a snow suit than have sex.

Has anyone else ever went through this?

Have you been checked for diabetes? It affects sex drive in both men & women

48 minutes ago, Angie's_Ocean said:

Have you been checked for diabetes? It affects sex drive in both men & women

Yep, they checked that too. My levels were actually really good. It's just frustrating to go to the doctor and talk about these things and then have them tell you "Nope, you're as healthy as a horse" when realistically you feel like crap.

My hubby has been injured for about 4 years (different injuries, but one after the next). I think I could have a sex drive, but I've been "not able to" for so long that I don't even know where to start. I don't feel romantic, even if he's feeling up to it...

This may sound ridiculous but practice makes perfect. I read somewhere a long time ago that the less you have sex the less you want it and vice versa. Sorry I can't remember the article source, I read it a few years back.

I have knowledge about this. I have lost my drive. We have been married for almost 44 years and had a very active sex life!! Up until about 5 years ago. I do have a thought about why....My hubby had a failed revision back in 2013, He was very sick for 9 months and 3 of them he doesn't remember. At that time he was in and out of his mind. Well, I took care of him and now I can not get past being a care provider for him. I don't see him as my lover. Now don't get me wrong we are very much in love. And neither of us can see ourselves without the other. I have talked to my Dr about this and she told me that she hesitates to give me an anxiety meds because they tend to suppress the desire even more. So when my hubby and I talked he said, he would rather not have sex he would rather have me well. It is so HARD and I do feel guilty because I have ZIP for desire!! He is ready teddy too. Good luck I hope you find something to help. When you do kick down some info.

This is just my opinion, but if you've ruled out a physical cause for the issue, why not talk to a therapist? Maybe it will help?

I have went through this a little. I dearly love my husband of 20 years and went through the motions of sex but it was just - meh. I had low level depression and I know some on here will say - no don't get medication - but Wellbutrin has helped so much. It worked for me. It also curbs cravings to an extent - it is the same as chantix for stopping smoking. It takes about 3 weeks to fully kick in, and it is easily stopped unlike some other antidepressants.

Edited August 23, 20179 yr by Sosewsue61

17 hours ago, Angie's_Ocean said:

This may sound ridiculous but practice makes perfect. I read somewhere a long time ago that the less you have sex the less you want it and vice versa. Sorry I can't remember the article source, I read it a few years back.

Bingo! Pretty sure this is exactly what's going on, for me at least. If we get to the point that I feel confident we can actually "do" something, then it might be a fake it 'till you make it situation.

Have you guys tried taking care of yourself first for a while? Getting into a regular rhythm by masterbating can have a positive effect on your libido.



HW-292 • SW (6/29/17) 256.6 • CW 225.8

Lol! TMI but.. yes, I take care of my own needs, but that doesn't seem to make a difference...

21 hours ago, samantha814 said:

I was sleeved 07/04/2017 and I'm down 30lbs as of today (whoop whoop)!

A little background, I have a son that just turned two. Before I got pregnant my sex drive was through the roof. I had lost 150 pounds with weight watchers and had been maintaining for about 2 years at that point. Despite working out while pregnant and being mindful of what I ate, I managed to gain about 80lbs with my pregnancy. When I was about 6 months or so, my libido just DROPPED. I had zero desire to be intimate or even kiss my husband. Fast forward two years later.....and I still am struggling. I've went to the doctors multiple times and they tested my hormone levels, thyroid, you name it and everything came back fine. Not that I was hoping for bad results, but them telling me I was good to go didn't make me feel any better about the situation. I'm not sure if it is more of a mental thing that I'm struggling with and is causing me to feel this way. I met my husband when I was thin and despite him being very affectionate and understanding of what I'm going through, I just feel unattractive and would honestly rather run a marathon in Death Valley wearing a snow suit than have sex.

Has anyone else ever went through this?

Have they checked your prolactin levels? I was zapped and when visiting my GYN and after explaining to her what was going on, she tested my prolactin levels and come to find out, I had a pituitary adenoma (later diagnosed by my neuro-surgeon). Once I was on meds and sure as heck after my Sleeve, I'm up and runnin' again.

I have the opposite problem.... My other half has no libido whatsoever and mine has always been sky high. My partner assures me there's no one else, they fancy me and love me BUT the urge just isn't there. I've suggested a doc apt but they don't think it's a big deal. I feel so ugly, unwanted and rejected - to the point where I've thought about ending it. I'm not sure whether this is me being selfish but I feel like it's starting to really affect how I feel about myself.

Edited February 4, 20188 yr by MsTipps

Something else to consider... are you on birth control pills? I have had more than one friend/family member find that hormonal birth control, while it is fantastic for contraception, can sometimes do a serious number on your libido.