This is a spin-off of the accidentally deleted thread "Imposters piss me off."

Every so often, I go over to OH, even though I hate it, just to see if anything useful has been posted. Afterwards, I mentally slap myself. Every. Single. Time. It's a damn good thing that I had my account there deleted. If I hadn't, I probably would have been banned by now. Either I read a post by SandyR (I try to avoid them, but some sneak through when I'm not expecting it) that makes me want to slap her and shake the people that actually listen to her or I run across a thread containing an online WWIII over some stupid thing. (Today it was one where someone had the audacity [gasp!] to say that they didn't feel a lot of sympathy for people who buy something they really can't afford, default on their loans, and subsequently have their possessions repo'd - apparently that didn't go over well.) :speechles

Every time I go over there, I wonder why I did. But I guess I continue to think that there might be some redeeming feature to the forum (every so often, a decent bit of advice gets posted). :phanvan

"The hag's full of shit."-Laurend

Wow, does that gal have a way with words or what??? ROFLMAO

"The hag's full of shit."-Laurend

Wow, does that gal have a way with words or what??? ROFLMAO

I'm not normalyl so plain spoken, but I had a hard time coming up with a word that described just how I feel about her. That's as close as I could get, yet it doesn't quite do it. :biggrin1:

Crap. I can spell "normally," I promise.

Laurend-I think your choice of words was great!

I certainly don't disagree. It would appear the majority of people agree with Lauren!

Well folks, it has been fun but I have to go to work. I will talk to everyone tomorrow! Have a great evening!

I am also curious, what is OH?

banded 9/12/07

H/C/G

220/197/145

ObesityHelp - Gastric Bypass, LAP-BAND® System, DS and Other Surgical and Non-Surgical Weight Loss Options.

There is one person I PMed after discovering Sandy was not licensed as she claimed, she has a criminal record, she lied on her licensing renewal, she's been banned from numerous boards, etc. She seemed surprised and said she was pretty good on a computer and if what I was saying was true, she'd call Sandy out herself on the boards. I gave her all the info she needed to confirm what I was writing.

Never heard another word from her. When someone else asked her she suddenly claimed it was no longer important. Yeah, right.

Just another cheerleader with their POM POMs that doesn't have the integrity to admit she was duped by a very manipulative liar on OH.

Oh man, I so wanted to never be involved in another one of these discussions, but since I know you are talking about me I will give my side of this particular part of the story. One moment while I put my body armor on.

Yes, I did say that I would out Sandy myself if I found that she was lying on the boards. I believe this was around the May-June time frame, but you can't do a search in OH for me to find the related posts. The reason I did not follow up was that Sandy provided me with very specific details of her past. Nothing to brag about, and also nothing to hide, IMHO. She was very open over a period of emails, and I made the decision at that time that it was her story to tell, not mine.

During this same period we had one or two other dramas occurring in OH. Some of you will remember. I try very very hard to be fair and supportive of everyone, but there were two specific people that yanked my chain a little too much and totally pissed me off. Emails and PM's were flying around like crazy. Accusations everywhere. Responses to posts that were in disagreement with the original poster could be pulled, and so we had a lot of one-sided threads that made no sense. I replied to one poster, politely yet in disagreement, and my reply was pulled by the poster. But NOT BEFORE people had replied to me, so none of the thread made sense. <By the way - that is one area where LBT wins over OH)

Anyway....

While I did my research, I also researched in depth the person who offended me (hey, fair's fair). I found historic things that were inflammatory. So I decided at that point that I had to give fair time to my discoveries, or post nothing at all. I chose to post nothing. What I found is someone's very personal history. Just the same as Sandy's very personal history. I saw the crap flying on both sides (and still do) about Sandy, and knew if I posted the other information that it would just start something even more out of control. And f**k it, I think all of us have something in our past we'd rather not share. Except maybe me, because I tell everybody everything about myself - I don't care how people judge me (ok it took 2 years of therapy to get to that point and I advise it for all of us:kiss2:).

So....

1) I did go back on my word to 'out' Sandy, because she provided her own history to me in confidence. It would be pretty cold-blooded to go post that in my mind. I apologize to you for never going back to tell you this. I just so want to get past this stuff.

2) When someone else asked me - I didn't see the point. If I were going to do anything, I would have talked to you first. Why would I talk to someone else?

3) I am not now, nor have I ever been, a 300 lb cheerleader. I try to be supportive of everyone. I try to turn ugly conversations into humor so that we can get past them. And I will post cheerleader icons in jest. I agree that OH should consider a forum like LBT has for R&R - I really enjoy this section in my own perverse way, and it would solve some of the issues over there.

4) I don't believe that I was duped in any way. I just made a decision, right or wrong, to walk away from it. The whole issue is freakin' poison, and I have lived with non-band related health issues (including 2 surgeries) in the last year and I don't need any more poison in my body.

****:sickAnd I would love any good thoughts to come my way in the hopes that my latest round of blood tests that I took today are closer to normal. And hey - I just realized that I could get it all out of my system in this R&R section if I need to - very cool. ****

So, if somebody wants to know why I did or did not do or say anything - just ask. If I see the post I will respond to it. I simply made a decision to move on. I am very sorry I didn't address it immediately, but it just wasn't the highlight of my life at that time. I am only writing now because I finally get it. This topic will NEVER die down. And that's ok because so many people get enjoyment from it. Just leave me out of it, and call me out directly by name and give me a chance. I have a computer of some sort with me 24x7 because of my job, and am usually on one of the various IM's. I'm happy to talk. Yeah talking is what I do best.

I still love OH. The drama has been long gone, except for some new OH members who post tongue-in-cheek to stir things up at times. And those are funny to me because so many people take them seriously. I have many friends there - people that I met in real life when I traveled for my job as well as many in the Central Texas area.

I like LBT too. I haven't learned to navigate here as well, but I do enjoy it and have met some great people here. I am happy to debate anybody over anything - except for that one topic. My quota has been exceeded.

Thanks - hope I am still welcome here. I will continue to wear the body armor until I feel it is safe to come out. And keep in mind that body armor is freakin' heavy and I weigh each and every morning so I need to take it off.

Chelle,

I love the way you say things. You should be a diplomat! If I could add anything to your post (not that it needs anything), is that this is the REAL WORLD with REAL PEOPLE. Not just avatars sitting behind a computer. We are dealing with human beings with feelings, emotions, FAULTS, past histories, drug addictions, alcoholism, abortions, infidelities, bipolar disorders, prison time....I could go on and on....

Think before you write, is all I'm saying.

Oh man, I so wanted to never be involved in another one of these discussions, but since I know you are talking about me I will give my side of this particular part of the story. One moment while I put my body armor on.

Yes, I did say that I would out Sandy myself if I found that she was lying on the boards. I believe this was around the May-June time frame, but you can't do a search in OH for me to find the related posts. The reason I did not follow up was that Sandy provided me with very specific details of her past. Nothing to brag about, and also nothing to hide, IMHO. She was very open over a period of emails, and I made the decision at that time that it was her story to tell, not mine.

During this same period we had one or two other dramas occurring in OH. Some of you will remember. I try very very hard to be fair and supportive of everyone, but there were two specific people that yanked my chain a little too much and totally pissed me off. Emails and PM's were flying around like crazy. Accusations everywhere. Responses to posts that were in disagreement with the original poster could be pulled, and so we had a lot of one-sided threads that made no sense. I replied to one poster, politely yet in disagreement, and my reply was pulled by the poster. But NOT BEFORE people had replied to me, so none of the thread made sense. <By the way - that is one area where LBT wins over OH)

Anyway....

While I did my research, I also researched in depth the person who offended me (hey, fair's fair). I found historic things that were inflammatory. So I decided at that point that I had to give fair time to my discoveries, or post nothing at all. I chose to post nothing. What I found is someone's very personal history. Just the same as Sandy's very personal history. I saw the crap flying on both sides (and still do) about Sandy, and knew if I posted the other information that it would just start something even more out of control. And f**k it, I think all of us have something in our past we'd rather not share. Except maybe me, because I tell everybody everything about myself - I don't care how people judge me (ok it took 2 years of therapy to get to that point and I advise it for all of us:kiss2:).

So....

1) I did go back on my word to 'out' Sandy, because she provided her own history to me in confidence. It would be pretty cold-blooded to go post that in my mind. I apologize to you for never going back to tell you this. I just so want to get past this stuff.

2) When someone else asked me - I didn't see the point. If I were going to do anything, I would have talked to you first. Why would I talk to someone else?

3) I am not now, nor have I ever been, a 300 lb cheerleader. I try to be supportive of everyone. I try to turn ugly conversations into humor so that we can get past them. And I will post cheerleader icons in jest. I agree that OH should consider a forum like LBT has for R&R - I really enjoy this section in my own perverse way, and it would solve some of the issues over there.

4) I don't believe that I was duped in any way. I just made a decision, right or wrong, to walk away from it. The whole issue is freakin' poison, and I have lived with non-band related health issues (including 2 surgeries) in the last year and I don't need any more poison in my body.

****:sickAnd I would love any good thoughts to come my way in the hopes that my latest round of blood tests that I took today are closer to normal. And hey - I just realized that I could get it all out of my system in this R&R section if I need to - very cool. ****

So, if somebody wants to know why I did or did not do or say anything - just ask. If I see the post I will respond to it. I simply made a decision to move on. I am very sorry I didn't address it immediately, but it just wasn't the highlight of my life at that time. I am only writing now because I finally get it. This topic will NEVER die down. And that's ok because so many people get enjoyment from it. Just leave me out of it, and call me out directly by name and give me a chance. I have a computer of some sort with me 24x7 because of my job, and am usually on one of the various IM's. I'm happy to talk. Yeah talking is what I do best.

I still love OH. The drama has been long gone, except for some new OH members who post tongue-in-cheek to stir things up at times. And those are funny to me because so many people take them seriously. I have many friends there - people that I met in real life when I traveled for my job as well as many in the Central Texas area.

I like LBT too. I haven't learned to navigate here as well, but I do enjoy it and have met some great people here. I am happy to debate anybody over anything - except for that one topic. My quota has been exceeded.

Thanks - hope I am still welcome here. I will continue to wear the body armor until I feel it is safe to come out. And keep in mind that body armor is freakin' heavy and I weigh each and every morning so I need to take it off.

Yeah, we've all got bits of our past that we'd rather not have become fodder for common knowledge and discussion. The difference is, you and I aren't trying to make fools of the people around us. Sandy lost the priviledge of keeping her past from people when she lied to them and made them think she was a nurse and therefore had more knowledge about banding than anyone else. No one involved in this whole mess has been an angel, but Sandy has acted in a way that asks - no, begs - for someone to come and knock her down a peg or two.

She's hidden her past from people. That's acceptable. I don't think anyone would have begrudged her that right. But that's not the only thing she's done. She's guided people into thinking that she's a NURSE, for crying out loud, a figure that people on a board such as OH automatically look towards for guidance about their bands! She's led attacks on people, spread lies about them, simply because they spoke up against her. That's NOT acceptable.

There comes a point in all of this where you simply have to either cut ties with someone or take their side. And by not making a public statement against what she's done, you've taken her side. You've given her unspoken acceptance, and the other people around you know that.

Not wanting to spread someone's past around is one thing. But by not letting other people know about her, you are allowing her to continue in the way she always had.

Yeah, we've all got bits of our past that we'd rather not have become fodder for common knowledge and discussion. The difference is, you and I aren't trying to make fools of the people around us. Sandy lost the priviledge of keeping her past from people when she lied to them and made them think she was a nurse and therefore had more knowledge about banding than anyone else. No one involved in this whole mess has been an angel, but Sandy has acted in a way that asks - no, begs - for someone to come and knock her down a peg or two.

She's hidden her past from people. That's acceptable. I don't think anyone would have begrudged her that right. But that's not the only thing she's done. She's guided people into thinking that she's a NURSE, for crying out loud, a figure that people on a board such as OH automatically look towards for guidance about their bands! She's led attacks on people, spread lies about them, simply because they spoke up against her. That's NOT acceptable.

There comes a point in all of this where you simply have to either cut ties with someone or take their side. And by not making a public statement against what she's done, you've taken her side. You've given her unspoken acceptance, and the other people around you know that.

Not wanting to spread someone's past around is one thing. But by not letting other people know about her, you are allowing her to continue in the way she always had.

Glad I kept the armor on, Lauren. I appreciate your response, but for me, I have to respectfully disagree. At some point in our obese lives, we have to take charge of ourselves to be successful. And if I am being selfish or whatever, so be it. I just want my health back and I want to finish this weight loss journey.

When I first disagreed with Sandy, I contacted her by PM and was very clear in my feelings. She took them under advisement and never posted those things which bothered me again.

I disagree that I have taken sides. I elected to stop participating. I have to choose my own battles, and right now, my battles are very personal. And when someone confides in me, whether solicited or not, it remains their story to tell, not mine. And for almost every accusation about her treatment of others that you mention; I could say the same about that person who so offended me.

I also disagree with how people feel about using the internet for medical advice. I use forums to learn about other people's experiences with the band. I research medical sites. And I follow my own doc's advice. That's all any of us can do. If someone chooses to follow the advice from an avatar who types it, instead of their own doc or using their own research.....well that is a risk they take. Every person we mention has offered some great advice, and some that I would never consider taking.

So I will keep the armor on for a while....

Before anyone asks, YES, I am mad about this. So her past was made public. Boo fucking hoo! It isn't like she made a mistake and turned her life around. She was actively BREAKING THE LAW AND LYING TO PEOPLE! I have no sympathy for someone like her. She isn't someone who made a mistake in her past and is a do-gooder now. She is someone who made a mistake in her past and CONTINUES to make that same mistake. It would be like neighbor putting up a poster of the neighborhood child molestor's previous convictions for molesting children. At that point, it isn't invading their privacy. It's a matter of public awareness and safety.

All this "boo-hoo, they should leave her alone, she wasn't hurting people" is PISSING ME OFF. She was hurting people. She was and is breaking the law. She isn't someone to be protected. She should be banned from every fucking weight-loss messageboard and website in existance.

Chelle,

I love the way you say things. You should be a diplomat! If I could add anything to your post (not that it needs anything), is that this is the REAL WORLD with REAL PEOPLE. Not just avatars sitting behind a computer. We are dealing with human beings with feelings, emotions, FAULTS, past histories, drug addictions, alcoholism, abortions, infidelities, bipolar disorders, prison time....I could go on and on....

Think before you write, is all I'm saying.

I guess this would apply to people like Dee as well too right?

I guess this would apply to people like Dee as well too right?

When someone threatens my life, I figure they sort of crossed the line of decency.