This might be long, so brace yourselves, lol. >_< If you don't agree with LGBT discussions, then please turn away now. Thank you.

So, I am bisexual. I've known this since I was 14; I'm 25 now. I started dating a woman about my age when I was 22. We were in a long-distance relationship (she lived in CA and I live in AL). Her parents were 100% supportive of her sexuality, but my mother is not, and she doesn't know either (I can't tell her because she is very conservative). Anyway, we dated for almost a year and I fell in love with her. She claimed to love me, too. She ended up moving to Idaho, then to South Dakota, because she couldn't find a job in CA or Idaho. She moved with her sister (who is extremely conservative and had no idea my ex is into women). Well, her sister found out and told her that I would never be allowed to come around her family. This hurt my ex so much, that she moved out of her sister's house and in with a friend. Well, she ended up moving in with another bisexual woman. She felt accepted there and I was happy. Well, the guilt of her being gay started to get to her more, which was triggered by her unaccepting sister. She found a job and started to have a crush on someone else; a man. I was shocked because I thought she was a lesbian. She assured me that the crush was nothing and that she only had it because we were so far apart and that she was lonely. I broke up with her because of the crush, and it made her cry a lot. We ended up getting back together a week later. Well, a few weeks after that, I asked if she still had a crush on this guy. She said yes, and I got upset again. A few days later, she broke up with me because I couldn't trust her anymore. She said she was too hurt because of my lack of trust. Several weeks later, we ended contact with each other and she ended up dating this guy a few months after I stopped speaking to her. They've been together for 2 years now.

Well, it's been 2 years since I've spoken to her. She recently contacted me about a month ago telling me that she is sorry for everything that happened. She told me that she is getting married in November. I was fine with it at first, but as we have been talking almost daily now, my feelings for her are coming back quickly. Sometimes I wonder if she feels the same about me. The reason is because, she tells me all the time that she has a hard time having sex with her fiance because of PTSD from a past rape. Every time they try to make love, she gets upset and pushes him away. She even told me that she is only attracted to him emotionally, and that there is little to no sexual attraction for him. She told me that she is 95% homosexual. She has even gone as far as flirting with me and bringing up our past many times. She apologizes all the time and texts me constantly. Most of the time it feels like old times between us. I don't know what to make of this. She told me she feels too guilty to be with women because of her religion (we are both Christians). But, there are some days when she tells me that she loves him and that she wants to marry him. I know my ex VERY well, and I know she will grow bored. She has been flirting with me almost daily now, and she even sends me suggestive photos of women in lingerie. She never looks at men, EVER. She says, "My fiance is the only man I could ever be with." Meaning, she could never be with any other man because she doesn't like men sexually. If I'm not mistaken, don't you have to be sexually attracted to someone to make it work in a relationship?

She has also admitted to me that she has been having doubts about getting married. She claims that it's because her fiance works night shift, and that they hardly see each other as much as they want to, but they still see each other every now and then. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to be at least 90% sure you want to get married if you love the person?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being used by her as a sexual fix, and that she doesn't have emotional feelings for me. Her guilt gets in the way a lot about her sexuality. So my main question is... Does it seem like she has unresolved feelings for me? Or am I being used?

Edited September 15, 20169 yr by Hiraeth

Stop making excuses for her. She slept with another woman because she wanted to, not because she was forced to. Just like her current relationship. Typical victim mentality she continually has. That is why she is toxic, no other reasons.

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You're right. I am making excuses for her. She blames her ex-boyfriend raping her for her PTSD. But, in my opinion, I think she's just gay and sleeping with men gives her anxiety.

She is a whirlwind of dysfunction and drama, and she is trying to make you her emotional tampon.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Yes, she is. She actually knows this about herself. She always says, "I think I'm too screwed up to be in a relationship." I think she is also very insecure and afraid to be alone.

Again, that's her problem to deal with. Let her deal with it (or not, since most people like that tend to revel in it... )

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Again, that's her problem to deal with. Let her deal with it (or not, since most people like that tend to revel in it... )

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

A part of me feels like she is trying to get me to talk her into leaving him. Do you get that vibe in what I've written?

Yes. She's playing you and trying to make you the bad guy for breaking up her relationship. (ie., she's a chickenshit)

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited October 10, 20169 yr by Fredbear

Yes. She's playing you and trying to make you the bad guy for breaking up her relationship. (ie., she's a chickenshit)

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

What? I didn't break up a relationship. She's still with her fiance, lol.

EDIT: Wait, I think I know what you mean. You mean she's trying to use me as a way out? I'm not so sure about that. I think she really wants it to work with him. I think she's trying to force herself to love him.

Edited October 10, 20169 yr by Hiraeth

Yes. Do not believe 100% out of a mouth of a person you never met face to face. Cunning and deceitful people are amazing how to tune into your personality and exploit your vulnerabilities to get their jollies off.

This girl is a complete catfish from the jump.

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Please stop trying to analyze her and this situation. As painful as it is and will be, you just have to end it...and end it in your head as well. What you are doing is tantamount to picking at a scab over and over. It will never heal if you don't leave it alone.