I have been on Plenty of Fish (POF) for about three months now and it has been an interesting experience. I have met (face to face) about 10 women during these 3 months. For the past month I have been seeing some one about twice a week. I am tempted to concentrate all of my attention on this person, but I keep getting sucked into POF's messages and likes. I am tempted to delete my profile on POF. Any suggestions or guidance?

@@SleeveSoon

If you are really looking for a serious long term thing. Don't focus all your attention on one person, date several people and make them compete for your time. That makes it easier to weed people out and you don't end up dating one person for 90 days only to realize they are a complete waste of time. I think a month is too soon to zero in on one person. Dating is a numbers game.

I once went on a date with someone who we seemed to have a chemistry that clicked very well. At the end of dinner, she told me that she is "deciding between me and another guy".

I thanked her for a nice evening and told her I didn't realize I was in a contest. I mentioned I would have originally wanted to see her again, drove her home and then wished her happiness with whoever she selects.

If someone (IMHO) is someone you seem to connect with then you should not keep drawing cards from the deck; I am sure whoever you meet that seems to be "the one" you would like to get to know better and date, to not date other people too to see if they can find someone better than you. Karma is a funny thing.

It's ridiculous she said this to you on a first date. Who decides to date someone after 1 date? You did the right thing.

If someone told me, they were dating someone other than me regardless of what date number it was, i'd be outta there! Now, don't get me wrong I'm not saying don't date more than 1 person at a time, but heck don't tell them about it. How rude.

You inspired me @@SleeveSoon I deleted Tinder this morning

You inspired me @@SleeveSoon I deleted Tinder this morning

Glad to hear about this. I have no reservations about deleting my POF profile. Just got back from spending a Friday night with "teacher" and couldn't be happier. We are both older (over 50) and things have been going really well. Making plans for Saturday night.

OMFG the guy that I've been seeing for a month now where nothing has been made offical, other than the fact that it's exclusive was on freaking Tinder last night when I was at his house!

Now I'm all kinds of confused, I really like him and now I don't know if it's mutual or not

And this was after I asked him to come to a wedding with me on Saturday and he said yes!! What do I do??

And this was after I asked him to come to a wedding with me on Saturday and he said yes!! What do I do??

Maybe he was on it to delete his profile? If not, I'd just ask him about it directly and if he's still looking on the side, go to the wedding 'stag'. Ppl willing to look for something better while dating you and not worth your time. Just my opinion.

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And this was after I asked him to come to a wedding with me on Saturday and he said yes!! What do I do??

Don't freak out. You've only been seeing him for a month - it will not be good to confront him about this from an accusatory stance. Ask him casually if he's dating anyone else and see what he says. Even if he is - again it's only been a month - give the relationship time to grow. If you expect him to only date you (which I completely understand) then ask him if he's willing to do that. If not - decide if you can handle that for the time being. He may not realize you want to be exclusive. You have to talk to him.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!

We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

I'm not a juggler dating type. I date, find out if I would like to keep dating and continue to date that person. If I dont give my full attention to that person, I will never fully know if they were a match for me. I know pretty fast if they are my type. But luckily I found someone and no longer need to date. Hated dating. And I would run for the hills if someone expected me to chase them. Lol no. Playing games was fun, playing games with peoples hearts is just egotistical, emotionally scummy and childs play. I dont want to deal with a child in my adult relationship.

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It is tough. "The grass is always greener" problem can really hinder trying to make a deeper connection. You can hit a pause button by hiding your profile. I have only deleted my profile twice and let the person I was dating know I did it, and strangely enough we both had done it about the same time. I usually accept that as a VERY good sign. It does take two to tango.

I dunno. sometimes you're not sure if this is the person you want to focus on, sometimes you do know right away. My husband and I met online, but not in a dating site - this was the dark ages before electricity, lol. we were friends for about 6 months because I was DEAD SET against ever getting involved with a man again - no boyfriend, no dating, no remarriage. and he slowly won my trust and I agreed to meet in person. we knew that week that we never wanted to be away from each other again. and a few months shy of 20 years later we feel all that and more. The man knows what he wants and he makes very sure every day that I know that forever with me is what he wants.

so if you're not sure, then keep the profiles and look around. if you want to focus on her to see if she is the one, hide them so they aren't distracting you - and if you know she is who you want to pursue then delete them and pursue her and see where it goes.

Ughhh. I could use dating advice too. And I don't belong giving any dating advice, so I can't help you lol. Sorry to hijack your post, but I'd love some input on my situation! I've been on 4 dates with a nice guy that I'm not really attracted to - met on match. Why? Well, my ex was smoking hot, with a burning temper. The attraction couldn't have been more, we loved each other, but he had anger and control issues (like I'm walking on egg shells to make sure he doesn't erupt...and no one I know - friends, my parents - are ever allowed over)... So, I moved out 4 months ago, saw a therapist 3 times to figure out why I basically had Stockholm syndrome, got sleeved, lost 30 lbs, and got back out there about 3 weeks ago. Back to online dating: I can't date more than one person at a time. Is that weird? Just feels wrong. Anyway, this guy couldn't be nicer, is okay looking, treats me wonderfully, and there aren't any red flags. My question to everyone: were you head over heels attracted to your significant other? Or did love come later? I've always been the former, and it never seems to work out (mostly bc I'm attracted to controlling types). Do you think there's a chance I'll never REALLY be attracted to anyone who is actually healthy for me?

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I tried to date someone that didnt set off my bells and whistles, great guy, great job, responsible and checks off all the things that make for a good relationship. I wasnt attracted. Couldn't continue. Wasnt fair to him.

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It is tough. "The grass is always greener" problem can really hinder trying to make a deeper connection. You can hit a pause button by hiding your profile. I have only deleted my profile twice and let the person I was dating know I did it, and strangely enough we both had done it about the same time. I usually accept that as a VERY good sign. It does take two to tango.

I ended up hiding my profile on POF instead of deleting it. The first several weeks we were dating things were going very well. She was on Summer break (from teaching), I was fully retired, and we did a lot of fun things. Now school is back in session, I have taken on a part time job, and her daughter who lives several hours away is getting married in October. I am still hopeful that things will work out.

@@LowBMISleever YES. keep working on yourself and become the kind of person who would attract what you want.

my first marriage was fine - we loved each other and if he hadn't changed (after going to war) I think we would have had a very comfortable, life long marriage. it was not fireworks but we grew up together, we were happy and wanted the same kind of lifestyle.

this time? fireworks. we have some sort of crazy chemistry. and love very deeply but it is a lot more drama 20 years,

neither was wrong, and you can be happy with love coming on gangbusters or love coming on slowly.

don't be in a hurry, take your time, and it is fine to date just one person at a time. if they are not ready to be exclusive then I wouldn't pressure them, but if one person at a time works for you there is NOTHING wrong with that. learning honest communication is the key.

wishing you all the best.