That's always what I hear people say in their heads and sometimes out loud when I discuss something that makes me uncomfortable. Truth be told: I have a hard time lying. "I cannot tell a lie!"

So. While most pre-surgery folks are worried about important things like oh you know surgical complications, post surgical depression, stalls, etc...I'm worried about how to lie to people about this surgery. I am worried about work people mostly. And also do I have to lie? Lol.

Background: I work for a fairly small company with maybe a total of 50 employees, so you know you see every single person practically every day. Not to mention we have office potlucks for almost every holiday, and I fill in at the receptionist desk often. There are maybe 8 people in the office that are overweight and two or three more that are severely overweight.

I don't want everyone up in my business but I know they will notice my weight loss, not to mention doctors appointments, and of course missing work for surgery for a few weeks... I really don't care about telling my friends and family. I know many of them will have their opinions lol and I'm ok confronting them. BUT work people. I keep going back and forth with it, should I tell them, should I not tell them...it's driving me CRAZY! Lol.

If you decided not to tell your coworkers, what was your reaction or what did you say when they asked about your weight loss or why you took time off?

If you did decide to tell your coworkers, how did you tell them or how did you address the situation? What were their reactions and how did you deal with it? What did you respond to the negative comments like "you took the easy way out" or "you're not even big enough to have this surgery"?

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I had told a couple of close colleagues I needed my gallbladder out (back in January) which is true, that is coming out also, I had to postpone the surgery until this month. I haven't mentioned it again. I had to tell my boss a couple of weeks ago because she wanted me to go to Haiti for a meeting a few weeks after. So she knows and was told not to discuss it with anyone.

Things happen. My surgery got postponed for 7 months. I think its worse, telling, they showing up at work when you are suppose to be out on sick leave.

My office is filled with young gossipers. I hope I lose so much they are WHAT HAVE you done? But since my weight has gone up and down for years and if they assume or I tell them my gallbladder was removed, they obvious I have to change my diet for that as well.

If you don't want to say anything, I say, then say nothing. Later on, as you shrink, you can decide then whether or not to tell.

Eating less and moving more. Not a lie.

Eating a low carb diet. Also not a lie.

For those who ask (and my experience is that few ask, most just compliment) you can tell them any subset of the many truths you choose to share.

Saying your taking a new experimental drug, that's a lie. Saying your metabolism just changed, or weight watchers is finally working, etc. are lies. But there are many truths to share short of sharing your surgery.

Also, the one person, so far, who seemed truly interested for herself, vs curious/looking for the magical solution, approached me alone, quietly, and it was quite different than the Water cooler conversations. I was happy to share in that context, and I believe she has scheduled to attend an info session.

I said I was having a hiatal hernia repair which was true......and the good thing is the pre and post-op diets for a hiatal hernia surgery are the same as WLS...........So as far as now with my continued weight loss I say, "well I'm eating less and moving more"...........which is also true!...if they need a little more I go back to reminding them that I got a good kick start with weight loss with the diet for my hiatal hernia repair.

Good luck with how ever you decide to handle it.

With you hiatal hernia repair did they do laprascopic surgery?

Hope Your Day is Great,

*Amber*

The Starving Mom

starvingmom.wordpress.com

“I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to

be worth it.” - Art Williams

@@The Starving Mom Yes they did the hiatal hernia repair at the same time they did the sleeve and both were laprascopic

@@The Starving Mom Yes they did the hiatal hernia repair at the same time they did the sleeve and both were laprascopic

OK... Dr sent me a new vid to watch talking about open bypass and he has a hiatal hernia, 2 incisional, and 1 umbilical hernia plus a mesh to remove... he had said possibly laprascopic but I think he's decided on open lol... still have 2 more weeks before I find out...

Hope Your Day is Great,

*Amber*

The Starving Mom

starvingmom.wordpress.com

“I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to

be worth it.” - Art Williams

@@The Starving Mom Yes they did the hiatal hernia repair at the same time they did the sleeve and both were laprascopic

OK... Dr sent me a new vid to watch talking about open bypass and he has a hiatal hernia, 2 incisional, and 1 umbilical hernia plus a mesh to remove... he had said possibly laprascopic but I think he's decided on open lol... still have 2 more weeks before I find out...

Hope Your Day is Great,

*Amber*

The Starving Mom

starvingmom.wordpress.com

“I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to

be worth it.” - Art Williams

ekkk I would hate the idea of open.....but I'm sure he has a reason for it needing to be done that way. good luck to you.

@@The Starving Mom Yes they did the hiatal hernia repair at the same time they did the sleeve and both were laprascopic

OK... Dr sent me a new vid to watch talking about open bypass and he has a hiatal hernia, 2 incisional, and 1 umbilical hernia plus a mesh to remove... he had said possibly laprascopic but I think he's decided on open lol... still have 2 more weeks before I find out...

Hope Your Day is Great,

*Amber*

The Starving Mom

starvingmom.wordpress.com

“I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to

be worth it.” - Art Williams

ekkk I would hate the idea of open.....but I'm sure he has a reason for it needing to be done that way. good luck to you.

Yeah I am definitely not a fan but what needs to be done will be done...

Whether or not you decide to tell how you are loosing the weight is completely your decision, but i say.......Don't be ashamed of the "How", tell it, be proud, and redirect people to "WHY" you chose to do this! Getting healthy to me outweighed any of the negative comments that people were going to have. I have two small children who need me to be a healthier mom, they need me to teach them how to grow up healthy and live an active and healthy lifestyle. No matter what you do in life, you will always run into "those people" who just want to bring you down instead of seeing the positive. For those that think this is "the easy way out", HA! I'd like them to try it!!

Just to be a devil's advocate: I don't have any issue with telling people. I've embraced any opportunities to dispel some of those myths, and to educate people. I've even been able to help others get the surgery by telling them about the program here in Vancouver. While I do respect everyone's right to keep their medical history private as a life coach I lean towards the view that bringing these things out into the open benefits everyone. I've yet to have anyone respond negatively when I tell them.

If you wish to keep it private then the above answers are great. "I'm eating less, making better choices, and exercising," is the absolute truth.

"I've been on a medically supervised diet for over a year now. I guess it's starting to show." That's my go to answer for clients. My co-workers all know; mostly because I'm terrible about keeping my own secrets. But I work with a bunch of affirming, touchy-feely folks, so they've been supportive. If they weren't, I still wouldn't care. One of the best gifts I ever gave myself was to realize that while not everyone can appreciate the magnificence that is me, there are plenty of people who do and I choose to focus my energy on those relationships rather than trying to win anyone else's approval.

Ok, so I am going to give you another way to look at it, possibly:

It turns out that there were 2 people I worked with who, at different intervals, lost 150+ pounds each. Huge difference. One, then a year or so later, the other. I had a similar amount to lose. Watching each one do it, and asking about what they were doing, all they said in essence "I'm just eating less I guess?" And smiled like the cat who ate the canary.

They flat out denied having any intervention, surgery, medical help. Watching these huge losses happen once and then again, and hearing nothing but flat out denials about the surgery made me feel like a weak, pathetic, hopeless case. I cannot stress enough how alone and ashamed I felt of my unsuccessful attempts to lose weight.

Come to find out years later....WLS for both. I know it's their business and their decision, but IMO there's something unkind about lying to another morbidly obese person about this. A lot of my fears and concerns about the surgery and healing could have been resolved, and the overall stigma of having surgery could have been lessened too.

Again, I get that they don't owe anyone anything, but damn, is it fair to purposely mislead someone who could benefit from the potentially lifesaving surgery you just had?

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Crack

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Ok, so I am going to give you another way to look at it, possibly:

It turns out that there were 2 people I worked with who, at different intervals, lost 150+ pounds each. Huge difference. One, then a year or so later, the other. I had a similar amount to lose. Watching each one do it, and asking about what they were doing, all they said in essence "I'm just eating less I guess?" And smiled like the cat who ate the canary.

They flat out denied having any intervention, surgery, medical help. Watching these huge losses happen once and then again, and hearing nothing but flat out denials about the surgery made me feel like a weak, pathetic, hopeless case. I cannot stress enough how alone and ashamed I felt of my unsuccessful attempts to lose weight.

Come to find out years later....WLS for both. I know it's their business and their decision, but IMO there's something unkind about lying to another morbidly obese person about this. A lot of my fears and concerns about the surgery and healing could have been resolved, and the overall stigma of having surgery could have been lessened too.

Again, I get that they don't owe anyone anything, but damn, is it fair to purposely mislead someone who could benefit from the potentially lifesaving surgery you just had?

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I agree completely! My one exception to the not telling clients rule is those I know would benefit from the surgery. I answer honestly and leave it open for dialogue if they have questions.