What better view could there be at a Jersey shore vacation rental right ? Now look closely, you will see the barricade. What ? You only see the dunes and some flimsy fences ? That's the obesity boundary. It keeps me here on the deck while the "normal" people are on the beach.

Oh I know there are plenty of fatties down there (maybe not too many my size with a 63 BMI) but I'm somehow different than them. Something keeps me here. It probably wouldn't be worth it for me to go down anyway. It wouldn't be comfortable. Physically it would be agonizing to get there. Then I'd have to plop myself on a blanket because let's face it there aren't beach chairs for me. All the while I would have to pretend countless eyes were not fixed on me wondering why I was there.

Ok I get it - overly dramatic I know. But the dunes are a metaphor to me. A hurdle I have to get over, since its been almost 25 years since I've enjoyed a day on the beach. This pre-op journey has stolen many hours of sleep from me. I fret over wether I'm making the right decision at 55 years old. I'm fearful I may not survive the surgery. I fantasize I'll be the first person the "method" doesn't work for. And I dread gaining back the weight if it does. Soon I'll have a surgery date. I bet I don't get any sleep then.

I swear I try to focus on the positives. I tell myself this will be the last time I sit up here and watch as my family crosses the dunes and goes down "there". But my mind isn't letting me believe it just yet. It's as if I got myself to this point and my head is making me pay the price by allowing me to think I am stuck like this for whatever limited time I have left. I've had plenty of therapy so I realize my logical mind is disconnected from my emotional mind. I just hope they can get together in time for this surgery and before the 2017 beach season.

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Counting down the days and getting plenty nervous. Three weeks till surgery, two weeks till liquid diet and one week till a chemically facilitated stress test. Anyone have this in lieu of walking on a tread mill ?

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I had the chemical stress test Joe. I had terrible joint pain and couldn't walk the treadmill fast enough to get my heart rate up. It's an odd feeling because you get the injection and your heart starts to pound, but there's no pain and it eases up fairly quickly. Nothing to worry about, I assure you.

Thanks gowalking- I appreciate the heads up. Were you nervous before hand also ?

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Thanks gowalking- I appreciate the heads up. Were you nervous before hand also ?

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oh sure. especially when they put the IV in. it's not just a needle..it's a whole to do with IVs and taping everything down. but like I said...it's not a big deal in the end.

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What better view could there be at a Jersey shore vacation rental right ? Now look closely, you will see the barricade. What ? You only see the dunes and some flimsy fences ? That's the obesity boundary. It keeps me here on the deck while the "normal" people are on the beach.

Oh I know there are plenty of fatties down there (maybe not too many my size with a 63 BMI) but I'm somehow different than them. Something keeps me here. It probably wouldn't be worth it for me to go down anyway. It wouldn't be comfortable. Physically it would be agonizing to get there. Then I'd have to plop myself on a blanket because let's face it there aren't beach chairs for me. All the while I would have to pretend countless eyes were not fixed on me wondering why I was there.

Ok I get it - overly dramatic I know. But the dunes are a metaphor to me. A hurdle I have to get over, since its been almost 25 years since I've enjoyed a day on the beach. This pre-op journey has stolen many hours of sleep from me. I fret over wether I'm making the right decision at 55 years old. I'm fearful I may not survive the surgery. I fantasize I'll be the first person the "method" doesn't work for. And I dread gaining back the weight if it does. Soon I'll have a surgery date. I bet I don't get any sleep then.

I swear I try to focus on the positives. I tell myself this will be the last time I sit up here and watch as my family crosses the dunes and goes down "there". But my mind isn't letting me believe it just yet. It's as if I got myself to this point and my head is making me pay the price by allowing me to think I am stuck like this for whatever limited time I have left. I've had plenty of therapy so I realize my logical mind is disconnected from my emotional mind. I just hope they can get together in time for this surgery and before the 2017 beach season.

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One of my major goals is to be able to walk on the beach again, to be able to walk through the loose sand on the dunes, and to be able to easily get up after sitting on a beach towel without help.

Ultimately, I want to be able to get up on a surf board and learn to surf.

I am getting closer!

Well folks I did it. 12 hours ago I had my GB. My pain is being pretty managed w/ dilauded, but my throat is so sore.

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Well folks I did it. 12 hours ago I had my GB. My pain is being pretty managed w/ dilauded, but my throat is so sore.

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So very proud of you. The throat soreness will be gone soon. I'm excited to see your posts and watch you continue on your journey! Blessings and prayers headed your way!!!

Thanks !!!

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congrats! keep us posted.

We own a house in Kitty Hawk, NC and I missed years of running the dunes with my kids. I could get up there once (but barely) but once I came down, I wasn't going back up again. I certainly wasn't going to try to make it to the bay because that required crossing three more dunes.

Two summers ago, I crossed those dunes. I ran up and down those dunes 5 or 6 times. I hung in there with my kids because I could. Seriously the best summer ever. And yes, I can still do it.

You can totally do this. You owe it to yourself and your family. And when you get down there, you are going to LOVE it again.

XXOO

I was born and raised on the Outer Banks. The beach every day at my fingertips should have been a dream right. After about 10 years of age I never wore a bathing suit, never looked at the beach, because of the shame. Never made it up Jockeys Ridge as an adult, but every time I return home and drive past I dream.

I know barriers self imposed and otherwise. I hope this surgery works to help me crossover, break down, and or set fire to these barriers.

It's never too late, until its too late

The walking has proved to be key in the past 72 hours. The gas is no joke although I didn't have any in the shoulder as many report. I haven't needed any pain Meds since the morning of the second day.

My first full day at home and my only issue is getting in the fluids. It's tough but I found a timer app that goes off every xx minutes to remind me to drink. Throat is still a little sore but nothing like that first day.

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@@JoeVegas - those Dunes already look smaller......

Congrats on your GB surgery and keep us posted!

1 week in the books (feels like a year LOL).

Had my follow up with the surgeon and thankfully everything is going good. Still a little swollen in the feet but he isn't concerned with that. I came out of the hospital + 10lbs - that's gone plus 2 more. I'm officially on my way !!!

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Congratulations!