I'll start by saying I he my sleeve done 9/9/15. My surgery weight was 320, I'm currently 192.4. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 12. We have 3 boys, 11 year old twins (one is special needs) and a 5 year old. We've always been extremely happy. Everyone we know says the same thing. Always lovey dove you and all that. Up until about a month ago people started commenting to him how great I was looking (the guys at his work) after that he started to seem unhappy. He left us without warning almost 2 weeks ago. He just seems so angry. He's under so much stress at work and having blood pressure issues. I think that plays a large part in it. I just need prayers that he will find his way back to our family. I'm so lost without of him I'm so scared of losing him and I need all the prayers I can get. Thank you in advance.

praying for you and your family. This breaks my heart but this too shall pass if you want your husband fight for your marriage but don't fight alone. Put God first and pray.

Hello, Friend,

How are YOU?

Have your circumstances changed any since your last post?

I am just reading your post today, but I wanted to share a few thoughts with you:

I know your pain.

I've been lost in the same fog of confusion as you.

I understand how your heart is bleeding while your brain is screaming.

I know that some of the posters just don't understand--as well meaning as they are.

I feel that you aren't in a place where you want/can hear what some members are saying--right or wrong.

I want you to know that "I get it".

I need you to know that I am here and I am listening.

AND

I'm on my knees for YOU. (I know that you will take care of your children and probably your husband). I am sending my prayers for YOU, dear friend. You, for now feel lost, right?

Hopefully, HE will guide you and heal your heart and calm your mind.

God Bless.

Valentina

I say you lost another good amount of weight, him.....I don't mean to be harsh but you've had to deal with weights, kids, husband, special needs . I have 2 sets of twins and sometimes I wish my husband would leave. But being in the group keeps me sane

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Thank you everyone. We are still separated. It has come to light that he started seeing a "friend" of ours after he left (a week later btw ) and claims to be so in love with this chick. He's adamant on getting a divorce and everything. He's been mean and hateful and then nice again and mean again. He has put his hands on me, broken things, broken my mirror on my car and all kinds of things. This last Saturday things got real for him. He was arrested for an aggravated DUI. Guess who he called to bail him out. that's right me, I did it because that's just who I am. I thought it may have opened his eyes a little bit nope. He still insists he did nothing wrong in that situation. He had been staying the night with us since it happened but left again tonight to go back to his apartment. I don't know what to think about him anymore. All I know is he is certainly not the same man I married and has changed so much so fast.

Sorry no paragraphs I'm eating dinner lol

Twinmomma422

You needed to let him spend the night in jail on his ass. Not bail him out. If he touches you again, you need to take out a restraining order. You need to talk to a lawyer to find out your rights in a divorce. And you need to get him to give you the money you spent on bail. He'll get it back when he shows up to court. If he doesn't you're the one out the cash.

I'm sorry for your troubles, but you need to look out for yourself and your kids.

Sooo sorry that you are having to go through all of this turmoil.

I have not judgments, no idea what's right or wrong for you. Just keep your children close, tell them that you love them everyday--and this mess is NOT their fault. Children have a way of finding a way to blame themselves for anything that goes wrong within their family.

Guard your heart.

Think with your brain.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Please keep updating us on how you and your children are doing.

Get a lawyer. The best one in town.

Thank you everyone for your input and letting me Vent.

I've contacted a lawyer and have to come up with the money to afford it. I've been a stay at home mom for 12+ years and don't have any income. I'm looking for a job now and he gives me money still. But it's going to cost like $5,000 all together. I have to pay $2,500 up front and can pay the rest out over time. I just don't have it. :/.

Oh pobrecita. I'm sorry you're going through this. You will get through it if you keep the faith and stay strong.

A good lawyer can help protect you and your children in many ways and will be worth the money upfront. Is there any chance a good friend or family member can help you out with the money?

I didn't read all the other comments, but it sounds like he could have depression. Yes, they're could be other reasons too, but some of the things you said made me think depression. Especially if he's recently been acting more withholding, withdrawn, anxious, stressed. Then running away. I'm wondering if he needs to be on an anti anxiety/anti depressant. Men's depression looks different than women's and often men aren't even aware.

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Now I see that he was cheating on you. He obviously needs help. You should see a counselor. This is just too much stress. I'm so sorry, you must be heartbroken and angry.

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Also, change the locks.

My parents normally would help me but they just spent their savings on a travel trailer before any of this happened. We've bee brainstorming ideas but have nothing much so far.

I've told him he needs help. He has severe anger issues among other things. I honestly think he is bipolar. He just seemed to change over night. The man I married and have known for 15+ years would NEVER do these things to me. Ever. This "man" he has turned into isn't really a man. I don't know how to explain it. It is just such a dramatic change so quickly. I'm obviously still in shock and so hurt by it all. I have good days and bad days. Today was a bad day :-/

Twinmomma422

You needed to let him spend the night in jail on his ass. Not bail him out. If he touches you again, you need to take out a restraining order. You need to talk to a lawyer to find out your rights in a divorce. And you need to get him to give you the money you spent on bail. He'll get it back when he shows up to court. If he doesn't you're the one out the cash.

I'm sorry for your troubles, but you need to look out for yourself and your kids.

I know I should have let him stay but I couldn't. I tel everyone I talk to that I know it sounds stupid after everything he's done to me but I just couldn't do it. I'm not that type of person even though I should be. :-/