Hey ladies - I've seen forum posts about unwanted advances after WLS. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon pre-WLS...

For the past decade I've noticed a certain type of man hits on me. Usually he's gross, missing a couple teeth, smells like cigarette smoke, and is either hanging out of someone else's car or standing behind me at a grocery store carrying a bottle of booze and a package of hot dogs. I get the feeling they think they have a shot with me because I am obese, therefore must be lonely and desperate.

I always reject them and then they get really offended like they can't believe I'm ungrateful for the attention. One man shouted as I walked away "Well, you're fat anyway!" YES. I am fat. Thank you for stating the obvious. That doesn't mean I should be glad scumbags are interested in knocking boots with me.

Anyone else have this problem? Does it get better or worse as you lost weight?

Personally I'd rather not get attention at all (positive or negative). I just want to be left alone. I'm happy with my marriage and that's enough.

Scumbags are scumbags no matter what size you are. Unfortunately, society has encouraged men to treat all women as hit-on-able, which is stupid and sad.

Just come up with some snappy take-downs and have done with it.

Losers.... Disrespectful pricks.

I had the same chubby chaser hit on me twice, about three months apart. I firmly rejected him the first time. He didn't even remember me as someone he had talked to (and been rejected by) before the second time around . . . clearly he just saw a creature who met his criteria with respect to shape and size and didn't bother to gauge me as an actual human being. He was totally creepy and gross, tried to grab and stroke my arm the first time. Ew ew ew.

This is why you need to walk around with resting b!tch face. It keeps everyone away, as well as all wrinkles! I've been doing it for years now and it works fabulously! If they don't get the hint with that face, I can easily move to "come closer and I'll slap you into tomorrow" face in the blink of an eye. It truly is a gift.

Edited January 25, 201610 yr by HopeandAgony

Dbags will be dbags. That said, I didn't have that problem when I was fat. It was like I was invisible to all people. I get looks, catcalls, whatever occasionally now. Not sure what these guys are thinking. "Hey maybe if I say something really offensive to this person, I can get lucky"? SMH.

This is why you need to walk around with resting b!tch face. It keeps everyone away, as well as all wrinkles! I've been doing it for years now and it works fabulously! If they don't get the hint with that face, I can easily move to "come closer and I'll slap you into tomorrow" face in the blink of an eye. It truly is a gift.

THATS why I never have issues! Got the RBF mastered! Lol

Lol I think part of my problem, too, is that I attract crazy. I'm a mellow person and a good listener and crazy people pick up on it, hone in on me, and start talking my ear off. I was in line at a Disney hotel when this squirrely chick made eye contact with me and she ended up standing right next to me chattering on and on about something when she sneezed loudly and said "Sorry, I'm really sick right now and am about to go to the doctor and get antibiotics." THANKS.

Meanwhile my family helpfully moved back a few steps so I'd be her primary victim. She spotted me later at a Disney parade and scooted back so she could stand with me and tell me her life story.

I really need to work on my resting bitch face. Excellent advice.

I've noticed the advances are hourly or daily now that I've lost 50lbs. Little better class of guys anyway. My husband watched a bar full of guys eyeballing me and was so proud that HE was the one that got to go home with me. I try to keep eye contact at a minimum because I don't want that kind of attention. I'm very embarrassed by it now that I'm not heavier. I agree with the RBF comment, that'll help although the booze bottle hot dog shoppers won't care. LOL

So, here's the plan:

The next "schmegma breath" that insults one of us, we grab him from behind, bind their arms and legs.

We cut a huge square area out of the center of his gut. Then we implant the same size of plexiglass into the hole that we just made.

You might ask,"Valentina?, what is the purpose of having a large piece of plexiglass in the center of a man's gut"?

Well, my friends, that is what is called a "plexiotomy". That is made so now whenever this "man" shoves his own head up his *ss, he will be able to see where he's going. (which sounds to me like the loser is going nowhere!!!).

Lol oh my gosh. Smegma. I haven't heard that in forever. I dare you all to google that if you havent heard of it. lol

Edited January 26, 201610 yr by shrinkingkimber

Lol oh my gosh. Smegma. I haven't heard that in forever. I dare you all to google that if you havent heard of it. lol

--just showing my age and background, I guess. It fits, don't you think??

The best advice i can give to lowering the number of advances is to look "expensive" or "high maintenance". It lowers the number of men that talk to you, because most of them won't have the ego to do so. This works, fat or thin.

I've always had men approach me, no matter how strong I think my resting bitch face is, they always talk to me, or at least eyeball me to all hell.

If they compliment you, smile, say thank you and swiftly move away.

This is why you need to walk around with resting b!tch face. It keeps everyone away, as well as all wrinkles! I've been doing it for years now and it works fabulously! If they don't get the hint with that face, I can easily move to "come closer and I'll slap you into tomorrow" face in the blink of an eye. It truly is a gift.

THATS why I never have issues! Got the RBF mastered! Lol

Me too!!!

Yes I'm the same way. Always the one's that are married or just looking for a booty call. Makes me sick. Leave me alone. Kinda sad how society makes heavy set people look..(lazy, jobless, always eating) where in many cases that isn't true.

I know the feeling. They hit on me then (and also yelled I was fat when rejected). The same men don't really hit on me now. Typically, the type that hit on me now don't assume it will be easy. Though, I had a couple of angry geeks trying to take me home at a swing dancing club last week only to find out my friend overheard them mentioning my girdle (I guess they could see through this silver dress). They were as bad as former scum and it hurt in the same way. I had to come home and meditate. The dogs still find me just different breeds. Also, now rich jerks that talk about their money men are included. Attached is silver dress night.