Hey ladies - I've seen forum posts about unwanted advances after WLS. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon pre-WLS...

For the past decade I've noticed a certain type of man hits on me. Usually he's gross, missing a couple teeth, smells like cigarette smoke, and is either hanging out of someone else's car or standing behind me at a grocery store carrying a bottle of booze and a package of hot dogs. I get the feeling they think they have a shot with me because I am obese, therefore must be lonely and desperate.

I always reject them and then they get really offended like they can't believe I'm ungrateful for the attention. One man shouted as I walked away "Well, you're fat anyway!" YES. I am fat. Thank you for stating the obvious. That doesn't mean I should be glad scumbags are interested in knocking boots with me.

Anyone else have this problem? Does it get better or worse as you lost weight?

Personally I'd rather not get attention at all (positive or negative). I just want to be left alone. I'm happy with my marriage and that's enough.

"The dog's still find me, just different breeds."

Love it.

My fat has helped me to finely hone my BS meter throughout the years. Sounds like your "girdle" can do the same. At least it helped you to filter out the scum in this instance anyway (to mix metaphors).

You look beautiful and happy!

I truly believe a great number of guys are just clueless idiots.

"Well, you're fat anyway!"

The key is to have a "go f*ck yourself!" chambered and ready to go at all times.

I know the feeling. They hit on me then (and also yelled I was fat when rejected). The same men don't really hit on me now. Typically, the type that hit on me now don't assume it will be easy. Though, I had a couple of angry geeks trying to take me home at a swing dancing club last week only to find out my friend overheard them mentioning my girdle (I guess they could see through this silver dress). They were as bad as former scum and it hurt in the same way. I had to come home and meditate. The dogs still find me just different breeds. Also, now rich jerks that talk about their money men are included. Attached is silver dress night. ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1454854366.794194.jpg

If a man is so picky he can notice a girdle through a dress? No. That's so many levels of obnoxious.

Men will say/do anything to justify their rejection. I hate that our society allows them to get away with being so full of themselves while slamming women to the ground.

Probably sporting an itty bitty package. Jerks.

As a man with an "itty bitty package", I resent that remark...

Oh s**t..

Ladies room...

Out!!!

I went on ONE date with a guy and he was all over me, making me nervous. I told him over the phone the NEXT DAY I didn't think we were a good fit. He then stalked me, blew up my cell and land line, and hurled obscenities and insults at me for DAYS, saying I wasn't that hot, he'd had hotter girls, strippers even (!) and I wasn't "all that."

I told him to go date his thinner, hotter, stripper girls and leave me the F alone if I was so hideous and he's such a catch (overweight chef.)

OMG, crazy! I actually called the cops because the calls were relentless. He seriously would call one phone and tie it up, and then immediately call the other phone.

Very scary, but it shows how crazy and petty guys can be when faced with rejection.

@@Lauren23, sounds like your girdle geeks are relatives of the turd I encountered.

I went on ONE date with a guy and he was all over me, making me nervous. I told him over the phone the NEXT DAY I didn't think we were a good fit. He then stalked me, blew up my cell and land line, and hurled obscenities and insults at me for DAYS, saying I wasn't that hot, he'd had hotter girls, strippers even (!) and I wasn't "all that."

I told him to go date his thinner, hotter, stripper girls and leave me the F alone if I was so hideous and he's such a catch (overweight chef.)

OMG, crazy! I actually called the cops because the calls were relentless. He seriously would call one phone and tie it up, and then immediately call the other phone.

Very scary, but it shows how crazy and petty guys can be when faced with rejection.

@@Lauren23, sounds like your girdle geeks are relatives of the turd I encountered.

I hope he isn't carrying a copy of the book "The Catcher In The Rye".

As a man with an "itty bitty package", I resent that remark...

Oh s**t..

Ladies room...

Out!!!

It's only a problem if you're treating women poorly because you're insecure about it! Otherwise, no shame

@@Heather I That's terrifying! Good thing you put a stop to it right away. If you'd given him another chance who knows how much crazier he'd have gotten.

Funny story.. (kinda sad, but makes a point)

There's a guy in my office building who acts like he's God's gift. We work for separate companies, but we use the same parking lot, entrance and walkways. our businesses are close enough that we pass each other frequently.

I've worked here for 10 years - the first time he saw me (I was 310#) he did the eyeroll and promptly walked past without even acknowledging my "good morning". Doesn't even look in my direction or hold the door open for me like he does other people (even guys). It really didn't bother me because I didn't find him attractive AT ALL and his type makes me sick.

Once I decided to do WLS, I wanted to see if I could get him to notice me, so for the 6 months leading up to the surgery, I made a point to get in his face and be all "Hello!", "How are you today", "Good Morning", "Have a great day" as much as possible. Then I avoided him after surgery for over 8 months.

Fast forward to a couple months ago, I'm 10-15 from goal, and had forgotten all about him. This guy is holding the door open for me. It's snowing so I hurry past and go to my work. Next time I see him it's really nice out so I don't need a coat, and I have on nice, more form fitting cloths. He actually speaks to me and asks how long I've worked here!! So I just stop and look at him. then I eyeball him up and down, roll my eyes, turn on my heels and walk away with my head high shaking it.

"I may be fat - but you're ugly and there's no diet that can fix that"

This reminds me of something that happened to me. I was overweight in high school and college. Once I was walking along the side of a road and a pickup full of guys drive by and yelled things about how fat I was. I remembered the face of one of them in particular. In my early 20s I lost weight and got down to about 135 which I kept off for 7 years. One time I was helping a friend move out of her apartment and her neighbor was helping as well. It was the same guy and he was very friendly. For the next few months he kept asking my friend to set us up and I kept refusing saying only that he had done something to offend me. This apparently drove him crazy and he kept asking her to find out what but I never told.