cadladykim

More recently I have the question asked: "How much more weight do you want to loose?" I have answered like this (sometimes, depending on who's asking) I look them up and down and say "I don't know how much do you weigh?" I love the answer "one hundred and sexy" to the question "how much do you weigh now?" question!! People suck. And the worse thing is, they don't even realize it.

I use "hydro pro" for fluid intake. Totally worth it for me. I use my Fitbit app for food intake. Let's me put in as little or as much as I want. It's been the best purchase I ever made.

My original goal was to be at 199# and I dreamed of being 180# I never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be below 180# ever! Here I am at 165 looking and feeling great (yet secretly thinking i should be 150# - no one else wants me at that weight) So it's just a numbers thing for me. My negative body image still plays head games with me - daily. The struggle for me is real, BUT I am very aware it's not realistic. If I could afford plastic surgery just to remove all my loose skin, I'd easily be 140#. But would that make me have a better image of myself??? Probably not. My goal started as a number - but now my goal is to stay healthy. I just use the scale now for accountability, not to see how far I am away from 150.

Funny story.. (kinda sad, but makes a point) There's a guy in my office building who acts like he's God's gift. We work for separate companies, but we use the same parking lot, entrance and walkways. our businesses are close enough that we pass each other frequently. I've worked here for 10 years - the first time he saw me (I was 310#) he did the eyeroll and promptly walked past without even acknowledging my "good morning". Doesn't even look in my direction or hold the door open for me like he does other people (even guys). It really didn't bother me because I didn't find him attractive AT ALL and his type makes me sick. Once I decided to do WLS, I wanted to see if I could get him to notice me, so for the 6 months leading up to the surgery, I made a point to get in his face and be all "Hello!", "How are you today", "Good Morning", "Have a great day" as much as possible. Then I avoided him after surgery for over 8 months. Fast forward to a couple months ago, I'm 10-15 from goal, and had forgotten all about him. This guy is holding the door open for me. It's snowing so I hurry past and go to my work. Next time I see him it's really nice out so I don't need a coat, and I have on nice, more form fitting cloths. He actually speaks to me and asks how long I've worked here!! So I just stop and look at him. then I eyeball him up and down, roll my eyes, turn on my heels and walk away with my head high shaking it. "I may be fat - but you're ugly and there's no diet that can fix that"

ok

It's all a matter of perspective. @Cervidae Made a good point, regardless of the situation, no one except you will ever know what it is like to feel the way YOU feel in the same situation. No 2 people think exactly the same way about the same thing. 25 years ago I thought I was obese at 200 and felt horrible about myself, depressed, ugly...etc. as the years went on, I felt horrible at 250 and at 300+ and WISHING I was only 250 again or dreaming of only being 200. But that doesn't diminish how I actually felt at those other weights and how absolutely horrible I felt about myself at those times. Because in MY HEAD I might as well have been 1000# because I was the ugliest person alive and no one could understand how I felt. Ans when someone at a lesser weight would say they felt fat - sure I would get mad, thinking "If you only knew what fat was really like". But how do I know what mind demons are making them feel that way about themselves? I'm sure their feelings are just as valid as mine are. People will think what they think and we cant waste our time getting upset about it because their perspective isn't the same as ours. Whether it's about weight or something else. Everyone's feelings matter.

got the card. I have found buffets wont honor the kids price for me regardless if I show them the card. Soup or appetizer is my normal go to. But I might order a kids meals if there is something decent on it or I ask for the "senior" portion of something I really want (I'm to young to actually ask for it but no one has asked to see if I have an aarp card either).

Me too. I think curves are healthy and beautiful. There are several "heavy" women I know that I think are gorgeous and I have always envied their looks. Personally, since childhood I have always "FELT" unattractive at any weight. I still struggle with it sometimes. It's a hard mindset to overcome when your whole life was that mindset. I drove every aspect of me. It's getting better, i can tell and my family and those that know me see the mental change too. I just hit my 1 year anniversary last month and my kids told me that they think my attitude is better and I seem happier and they like that change the most. I think I do too.

I'm kinda in that boat. Been married going on 24 years. I was always big - always! (I'm actually 40 pounds lighter now than when we got married) Anyway, during the 22 years prior to WLS i went from Big to Obese. He didnt like it - and it hurt our marriage that I was so overweight and I was unattractive both physically and mentally. (dont gasp yes I said that out loud and I can admit it now). I battled depression and all that comes with it, binging, bad decisions...vicious cycle. Then I snapped and said I'm doing this. I was in the process for 5 months and was getting ready to have my date scheduled before I told him. I was scared to death at what he would say. I already lost 40# pre surgery but he hadn't noticed and also didn't balk when I finally said I was doing the WLS. He was kinda supportive. At least for him. So that was good. It's been 13+ months since surgery and he hasn't really complimented me on my loosing 150 pounds, or how I look. That hurts and I tell him that but he doesn't believe me that he hasn't, he gets mad and says he has...whatever. He really doesn't like it when people come up to him and talk about how good I look "Doesn't she look great?" - he just shrugs. But he does hold my hand when we are out sometimes like we used to when we were younger. He will occasionally put his arm around me when we are sitting beside each other. He hasn't done that in forever. So in his own way, maybe he likes it. But I really don't know because then he will complain that my boobs are too small and too saggy now and I have no butt... I really think it's a catch 22 for him. He wanted me to look better, but maybe not better than him. I don't think I do and have never said otherwise to him or anyone else - maybe it's his own inner demons he has to face. I do know the better i look in public (hair makeup cloths) the more attention he pays to me - but once we get home, he completely ignores me. Okay, therapy rant over, sorry I wasn't any help. I just think that those of us in long term relationships where the SO has seen us and accepted us at our worst - have a hard time with the new us. I think our mental states change just as drastically as the physical part of us.

Had PCOS for 20 years prior to surgery and now 13 months post op - almost all the symptoms are gone! Facial hair only half as bad as it was before, i have regular periods (blech), no painful cysts, still a little big around the middle, but much better! no acne, I took Biotin for 4 months prior to surgery to help with hair thinning and i think it made a huge difference so I still take it! My A1C levels are normal too! so I would think that anyone with PCOS should see things get much better.

Not odd at all - My doc will do blood work every year at my annual follow up - forever. My PCP also does blood work annually (I try to get them at 6 months apart). Bodies will change with age, and your chemistry will change with your eating habits as well as age. As a WLS patient, each year and stage of life there will come different blood level goals/expectations and (hopefully not ...but...) areas of concern. This was explained by my doc on my very first visit when I asked about long term maintenance. so I already know it is one of the more important follow ups I will have, for the rest of my life.

My only problem with Aetna was they had a "maximum lifetime benefit amount" that they would pay for. That amount wasn't known to me until after surgery. So even after a year, I'm still battling with them and the hospital to figure out the correct amount I need to pay out of pocket... $10k or $25k!! It's a mess! My mistake is that I didnt call Aetna personally to find out all the particulars, I relied on the doctors office to tell me what I though I needed to know. It turns out all they cared about was if it was covered, not anything else. My doc office said had they of known there was a max amount I could have negotiated some rates with some of the doctors and hospital before hand.

I was told not to confuse hunger for thirst. I have periods like this (1 year out) and When I'm not getting my 80 oz of fluids I feel more hungry. (Because of dehydration issues I need 80 oz fluids not the standard 64) I get really hungry for salty things, almost overwhelms me. So I eat 2 3 crackers and make some hot tea. I WANT to eat more but I just drink more and try to do something to distract myself until I have 20 oz additional fluids in me.

Call them! Do NOT rely on the doctor office to find out for you! I have a horrible situation I am going through now because I just let the doctors tell me it was covered, only to find out later that yes it is covered, but only to a certain dollar amount - the rest is out of pocket! I could have negotiated some rates and possibly had some other help had I known and called on my own.

I am almost a year out from RNY and I still frequently have theses bouts, although not as bad as I use to get them. Most of the times everything will go black for a few seconds with the dizziness and I have to hold onto something or I will fall down. This occurs mostly when i stand up. It is very scary and can be so intense. All that being said - I found that if my calorie count is low AND I don't have and carbs in my system, it makes it worse. I always get my Protein in and I am always hydrated. I know most WLS patient and doctors tell you to avoid carbs - and it's true! But for me, it seems my body needs a certain amount. I just make sure to avoid the white flour based when possible. Start with increasing your calories first. Carbs isn't the answer for everyone. Actually some people will have this reaction if they do eat carbs. Take this seriously. Your body it trying to tell you something. Good Luck!

So much so that it hurts to sit now. My Excess skin makes it feel very weird and uncomfortable when I sit. I see a skin reduction surgery in my future

Okay I just got a $25k+ bill from my hospital today! WHAT???? I expected some copays but never this!!! The note at the bottom said "Your insurance has informed us that you have met your benefit max for this service and therefore has denied payment...etc." Original bill was over $41k surgery was January - I called in December SPECIFICALLY asking if this surgery was covered (January starts the new plan year, we kept the same insurance company but I just wanted to know if anything changed or if this was not covered) at no time was I told there was a maximum benefit amount. I would have certainly talked to my doctors office ahead of time if there was! I didn't even know there was such a thing! Anyone experience this? What can I do??? I cannot afford this bill! the hospital finance department will allow you to make payments for a year to pay off your amount. I don't have $2200 a month!!! I'm so depressed and pissed and I don't even know what else. Normally I go eat when I feel like this - I cant even do that!

I'm still disputing it with them. That's jut it - I specifically called Aetna in December and asked for every piece of information prior to the surgery, then I talked to my workplace plan admin to verify what I needed as well as what was covered. There was nothing about a maximum plan benefit amount. The only thing I was told AND found in writing was it needed pre-approval and I had to meet requirements. Which I did and got the approval letter from Aetna. That's my dispute. There is still nothing what so ever on the Navigator website about a benefit maximum amount. Then to make matters worse - Aetna's negotiated price for the bill went from 41k to 16k. Aetna paid 6k (what they said was left from the max benefit amount). so that left a 10k balance on the negotiated price. Well no... since Aetna told the hospital that i maxed out the benefit, the hospital then classified me as un-insured for the balance of the original bill (not the insured discount price). And that is why they say I owe 25k instead of 10k. so I have 2 fights - 1 with my insurance for failure to disclose the max benefit amount even after my attempts to get all the information in advance. 2nd with the hospital for classifying me as uninsured in order to get more money.

Insurance says there was a max and I exceeded it. Everything past that is my responsibility. The bill is the excess that exceeded the allowed amount ????????????

Entering my 6 month Post-Op. I was just curious what everyone's calorie intake was at this point and further out. I have no issues getting in my 60g Protein so I am looking at calories and what realistically I should be looking at. My NUT said I shouldn't have to worry about calories for a year. Yeah...not so sure about that now that I'm eating everything well. I go between 1100-1400 calories. I almost had a heart attack the day I saw that i ate 1400 calories!! (but it was good calories) Which is funny considering my previous life where I would eat double or triple that and think nothing of it. Yes, I know everyone is different and yes, I know that if you eat more than you burn - you will gain (Thank God for my fitbit to show me where I am)

Have had my fitbit for almost a year. LOVE it. I dont think I would be as successful without it. (I'm a numbers person) I need friends though. Please feel free to add me cadladykim@gmail.com

Oh my gosh I know! Your comment about the pre surgery diet calories and perspective of today is spot on!! I looked back and actually I average 800-900 I had a busy week last week and my calories were higher only that week. Which is what prompted the post. For sure my perspective has changed drastically. As has my tolerance for "bad for you" food. I don't even go to the kitchen at work because there is always treats or junk in there for one reason or another. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to even smell it!