I'm 30 years old and I never really dated. I haven't had weight loss surgery, I'm trying to lose weight on my own without surgery and doing well. I've went from 470 to 430 in about two months. I'm not ready to meet women yet as I wanted to be under 300 before I do that. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always avoided socializing but I feel a big reason I gained so much weight was due to loneliness. I created an online account but didn't add any information or pictures, just wanted to look. I see a lot of women I am interested in but I have no idea how to introduce myself or what I should say. If it progresses to a date I have no idea what to do or where to go on a date. I don't know when I should kiss a woman or request a second date. I feel like I shouldn't need to be figuring this out at 30. This seems like something I should have learned in high school. Is there like a tutorial for this? I feel like it just gets harder to find someone after 30 and throw in the fact I have virtually no dating experience.

Only thing I don't like about Match is that I have to come up with some sort of opening. At least approaching someone online would be easier online than in person.

Well I am glad that you have found your way that works for you. I would say try having discussions with people so you get some practice.

I still have to meet people in person though. We had some pretty serious wind which took out power to a lot of people here. I had to go into the office and she was here and couldn't work up any strength to talk to her. Back in high school, I was told I had social anxiety disorder. It seems worse now that I've lost weight. Maybe because I'm trying to push myself to be more social. When I was heavier, it was ok to just try and hide. Now I want to be more social and I get anxiety and spend hours and days analyzing meaningless interactions. I can meet someone online and it can go great until I have to meet them.

It may seem harder because you are actively trying to be social. The hardest thing is putting yourself out there. It will get easier as you interact with people more. Just by coming out of your shell, you will get a little more comfortable.

I wouldn't say it didn't go well, just not what I had hoped. Once the crowd dwindled down to about 6 people, it was better. These issues are more than just weight. I have had this issue ever since elementary school. Going up and starting conversations has never been a strength of mine. I didn't make many friends in school and I wasn't overweight then. I wouldn't say I excel at one on one but rather I'm better at it. Where I really excel is by texting or written communication. I'm a completely different person when I text or use instant messenger vs face to face.
I think I already moved on from this woman at work before I went. I choose online dating because my strength is in written communication. I can approach people easier by messaging them than in person.

Why dont you have a picture?

1 hour ago, Danielle_kogan12 said:

Why dont you have a picture?

I've been waiting until I lost more weight before I took some pictures. I'm only about 30 pounds over where I want to be so this is probably a good time to take some new pictures. I wanted to create my online profile soon.

4 hours ago, sgc said:

I've been waiting until I lost more weight before I took some pictures. I'm only about 30 pounds over where I want to be so this is probably a good time to take some new pictures. I wanted to create my online profile soon.

Look at you!! ?Steps towards your overal happiness. I am proud.

Since pictures were mentioned here I finally took one today. The facial hair experiment is going to end but I'm not sure the picture looks natural. I've been reading that the best results are profiles with about four pictures so I guess I have some work to do. For shits and giggles I also added a before pic. That will obviously not be included in my dating profile.

You look great! Congrats and watch out ladies!

You have done an amazing job!!!!

I have another picture from before but I was a little bit heavier. Not sure if I should use it. I feel like the pictures make me look bigger. I was just at the store and I feel like I looked smaller in the mirror.

I set up a profile on eHarmony for now. I'll see what happens there and then expand.

Had some good matches right off the bat. Hopefully they respond. Already had one person contact me but don't seem too interested. I'm not sure if my profile is actually interesting enough to attract someone. We'll see I guess. May set up a profile on free site and see if people message me. I've heard mixed things about the free ones in my area.

2 hours ago, sgc said:

Had some good matches right off the bat. Hopefully they respond. Already had one person contact me but don't seem too interested. I'm not sure if my profile is actually interesting enough to attract someone. We'll see I guess. May set up a profile on free site and see if people message me. I've heard mixed things about the free ones in my area.

Hey, there are many, many fish in the sea. If one does not seem to interested, you will find another.

Here is a way to spice up your profile,

"Fun and loving guy who is on a journey to not only transform my mind but my body as well. I like to do the following:

1) List all of all your outdoor activities and things you like.

Looking for a woman that would like to travel and come along this journey with me."

1 hour ago, Thejeweledsleeve said:

Hey, there are many, many fish in the sea. If one does not seem to interested, you will find another.

Here is a way to spice up your profile,

"Fun and loving guy who is on a journey to not only transform my mind but my body as well. I like to do the following:

1) List all of all your outdoor activities and things you like.

Looking for a woman that would like to travel and come along this journey with me."

That's pretty much what I have done. I don't want to go too much into activities because I've been overweight my whole adult life so I haven't done much. There are things I want to do but I don't want to come off as having experience when they call me on it.

I wish I could link my eHarmony page. I copied and pasted the bulk of it. Hopefully it comes out all right.

What I'm mostPASSIONATE ABOUT

I am passionate about enjoying life. I try to find passion in everyday things or else there would be no point in getting up each morning. I like to travel but haven't been to nearly as many places as I would like. I am always looking to start something knew. Recently I started biking. Still an amateur but at least I can ride without training wheels. Lately I have also had a passion with interior design and home improvements.

I typicallySPEND MY LEISURE TIME

Biking, Bowling,Traveling, Miniature Golf, Watching of Television, Sleeping

I LIKEplaying

I ENJOY WATCHING

Baseball, Football (American)

I LIKEwatching

Animation, Comedy, Crime Drama

FAVORITE SHOWS

Family Guy, Bob's Burgers, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Fargo, The Walking Dead

The most important thingI'M LOOKING FOR IN A PERSON

I am looking for a woman who is kind and caring and who can enjoy the little things together. Someone who is upbeat and positive and energizes me when I'm around them. Someone who will be my best friend that I can let my guard down and be myself with. I am a very trustworthy person and expect that trust in return.

MOVIES Ienjoy

Comedy, Crime Drama

FAVORITE MOVIES

Office Space, The Hangover, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction, Fargo, Shawshank Redemption

The first thingPEOPLE NOTICE ABOUT ME

People notice that I have a calm demeanor and am easy to get along with.

The one thing I wish more people wouldNOTICE ABOUT ME

That I am Neptune, God of the Sea. I sink ships and conjure up storms.

A little moreABOUT ME

I have a laid back and easy going personality. I tend to make references to Family Guy in normal conversation that typically I only get and find amusing. I am loyal to the people who are close to me and am a dependable friend. I like the simple adventures like watching the complete series of Breaking Bad in one day, visiting the largest ball of yarn, or driving to Kentucky to see if the grass is actually blue.

3THINGS I'Mthankful for

• Family and friends
• Health
• Public sanitation department. Things would not be pleasant without them

3BESTlife skills

• Achieving personal goals
• Making friends laugh
• Handyman at home

HOW MY FRIENDSdescribe me

• Easy-Going
• Quiet
• Dependable
• Loyal

5THINGS I CAN'Tlive without

• Baked Spaghetti (Mother's)
• Detroit Tigers
• Amazon Prime
• Socks
• Google Maps