I'm 30 years old and I never really dated. I haven't had weight loss surgery, I'm trying to lose weight on my own without surgery and doing well. I've went from 470 to 430 in about two months. I'm not ready to meet women yet as I wanted to be under 300 before I do that. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always avoided socializing but I feel a big reason I gained so much weight was due to loneliness. I created an online account but didn't add any information or pictures, just wanted to look. I see a lot of women I am interested in but I have no idea how to introduce myself or what I should say. If it progresses to a date I have no idea what to do or where to go on a date. I don't know when I should kiss a woman or request a second date. I feel like I shouldn't need to be figuring this out at 30. This seems like something I should have learned in high school. Is there like a tutorial for this? I feel like it just gets harder to find someone after 30 and throw in the fact I have virtually no dating experience.

I think I will take a hiatus for a bit. 60+ messages and not a single reply. I'll take some time off and see if matches come to me. I've lost energy trying to come up with good emails so I'll take a break and try next week.

On 3/25/2017 at 11:11 PM, sgc said:

From the pics she has a goth thing going on it looks like. She doesn't look like she is a pleasant person. This is a part of her profile. She doesn't come off as the sweet, gentle, nurturing type I'm looking for.

I feel like responding and calling her Jess and that may end things. She also lives in the same city as me, and judging by one of her pics, I may know the street she lives on.

Okay so she comes off really strong lol. You also have to understand that she has been treated badly by men on the online dating scene. Maybe she is nice but she doesn't want to deal with the nonsense.

6 hours ago, sgc said:

I think I will take a hiatus for a bit. 60+ messages and not a single reply. I'll take some time off and see if matches come to me. I've lost energy trying to come up with good emails so I'll take a break and try next week.

Wow that many and not a response? Hmm. You may have to wait it out for now. Give it about a week and then try again. Sometimes we look at things and want things a little to hard. Good things come to those who wait.

So far the likes on my profile I have gotten are from the crazy one, a professional dominatrix, a woman whose profile picture is of her holding some sort of assault rifle, and a woman who spent a paragraph detailing the race of people she will not go out with but fortunately for me I am one of the few races she will go out with. I think I need a break. Maybe next week there will be a fresh crop of matches.

1 hour ago, sgc said:

So far the likes on my profile I have gotten are from the crazy one, a professional dominatrix, a woman whose profile picture is of her holding some sort of assault rifle, and a woman who spent a paragraph detailing the race of people she will not go out with but fortunately for me I am one of the few races she will go out with. I think I need a break. Maybe next week there will be a fresh crop of matches.

Those sound like some kind of nutty people lol. I am so sorry. Yeah I would say take a break. All these women are not the best choice for you.

I can't really say I'm too surprised. I figured after 62 emails I would get one response at least. I can tell most of them have read the emails and checked out my profile. I decided to completely redo my profile and been looking at theirs again to get them to check my profile out one more time.

I must be a glutton for punishment. I keep emailing to no avail. 78 emails and not a single response. At this point, I want to try for 100. It's either got to be my profile, emails or I'm not that attractive. I kind of lean towards the latter because most read the emails and then view my profile.

After 85 messages, I finally got a response. It wasn't very enthusiastic so I'm not hopeful.

That's awesome. Well Charm her but keep your options open.

I sent a reply. I'll see what happens. If all goes well, I'm not how and when to advance this to an in person meeting?

If it goes well, give it about 2 weeks of consistent talking. Once the two weeks is up, say hey do you think we could get some coffee one day? I would really like to hang out with you and get to know you more.

My experience on eHarmony has been lousy. I've been matched with a ton of guys. I've contacted most of them and I think I've received 2 replies in 6 months. It's not you. I think they have a lot of nonpaying members, so they can't respond. I also think quite a few of the profiles are fake. My friends have had similar experiences. Just my opinion, whatever it's worth.

I'm on eHarmony and Match. I've actually sent 48 emails on Match, 33 on eHarmony and 4 on OKCupid. The only response was on OKCupid. Non paying customers on eHarmony can respond. They just can't see pictures or respond after the first couple interactions. When I first started this thread over a year ago, I weighed over 400 pounds, had no pics on eHarmony, and yet got a couple dates within a month or two. Now when I'm actually trying, I can't. eHarmony you can't tell who is active. On Match, I send emails mostly to people who are active at that time. I can see about 98% of them have been read.

The one who responded to me on OKCupid doesn't seem promising. Conversation doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Not sure she's interested.

AsI suspected, the conversation fizzled out. I didn't think she was that as interested and then I started to lose interest.

I got an email from Match about a 7 day progress report. Apparently I sent 32 more emails that successful Match users, and receive 4 fewer emails than successful Match users. By their math, I should have received 16 responses if I were successful.

I'm really not sure how this online dating etiquette goes. On Match they showed me some matches and I check yes or no if I'm interested. I checked yes for this woman who had looked at my profile but didn't send me a wink or message. I've noticed now she has been viewing my profile a lot. Every day. Does this mean she is interested and wants me to send her a message? I'm getting gun shy sending messages because no one ever responds.