My husband and I are in Charleston SC for a wedding this weekend. We had lunch a little bit ago. We walk back to the car and I mention that my stomach hurts with gas pains.

He then said something nasty to me.

" I saw how much you ate and according to the paperwork you should be eating 1/2 what you are.

I had a black bean burger that was about 7 ounces max. I am 3.5 weeks out. No bread or bun or anything

Else.

Is that too much?

I'm sorry your husband was nasty to you. I don't know what your guidelines say, but I'm a year out and there's no way I could eat a 7 ounce burger at one sitting.

I also could not eat 7 ounces of burger at this point and I am 4 months post-op. Having said that, your husband could say that to you in a much more supportive way. I am sorry it was so rude for you. We are all going to make mistakes, the surgery does not make us perfect.

3.5 weeks you should probably be eating 2-4 oz max comfortably.

It may not haven even been 7 ounces. I guestImated.

Doctor said he left the top of my pouch looser due to esophageal dysmotility. Maybe I will call the doctor and ask them.

At 3 1/2 weeks, I was not eating whole cooked foods yet, just soft stuff. Even now, at almost two years, I will max out at 3 oz of meat and a few bites of veggie. Yeah, 7 ounces sounds like way too much, but he did not have to be a a green meanie about it.

First off, your husband is rude and I would tell him that. Past that though, how long did it take you to eat the burger? I'm 2 years out and I can't eat an entire patty in a normal speed setting, but if I have it on my desk and I pick at it for an hour or two while I'm working, then I can eat it just fine. Some people can eat more than others, so as long as you don't feel sick at all, then who care is you ate a whole burger. Think about it in this perspective. If you did not have a sleeve and you went to a wedding while you were on a diet and all you ate was a bean patty...wouldn't you feel like a diet rockstar?

Maybe I'm wrong - but I think he was being caring. 3 weeks out - should be soft food and 3-4 oz. hopefully, you haven't caused any damage

I think your husband may have expressed himself incorrectly, but yeah that was too much. I'm a vegetarian. I eat veggie burgers all the time. At 3½ weeks, I might have been able to eat half of a burger. Most people at your stage are eating between 2 - 4 ounces of food at a time.

Everyone is sleeved differently. Did the Burger make you feel uncomfortable? Ok. So if it didn't you didn't over eat. My dr. Has advised against measuring and rather training myself to detect when I have had enough and stop. This I think is better than weighing unless you intend to walk with your scale every where you go. I don't.

Maybe you are a bit sensitive, maybe he was harsh but chins up my dear, tomorrow is a better day.

Look at my colleague she lost 30lbs already and we were sleeves around the same time and our start weights were similar, she eats not than I do because she was sleeved again a bit bigger because of past surgeries and complications. I am just down 18lbs. So listen man, there is no one size that fits all as you can clearly see here. Go easy on yourself and your husband.

And also everyone's diet is so different!! My three weeks is soft foods and someone else's is steak!

Follow your plan and your dr.s guide to determine what's good for you!

Thank you all so much. I put a call in to the doctor but they haven't called back yet

I was not uncomfortable after eating and I am very much trying to listen to my body.

Wow. I was just doing purees at that stage and no more than about 2 ounces at that! I would say your husband expressed himself poorly if he wanted you to respond well. (I certainly wouldn't responded well)! I couldn't eat a whole Jr. burger (no bun) until I was probably 1 year out. That said, if it made you uncomfortable, you're either eating too much or the wrong thing for your stage of healing or eating too fast. When I started trying new foods post op, I found that it was bets to take like a quarter of what I thought I could eat, eat that and wait 15 min before trying more. Sometimes I'd end up with another quarter, oftentimes, not. It is important to advance your diet, but it's not worth making yourself sick. Go back to your previous stage if you must and work your way back to normal food a little slower.

When you tell your spouse you're not feeling well you typically hope they'll say something sympathetic or supportive first rather than being accusatory. I think he could have been a bit kinder with his response. He might be right that the burger was too much for you, but still he could have relayed that information in a more sensitive way. To me the fact that he did read through your paperwork to familiarize himself with your dietary recommendations shows that he has a commitment to wanting you to be successful. That's really what matters more in the long run. I'm sorry you weren't feeling well at the wedding, and hope you recovered quickly. Carrying Gas X strips in your purse might be helpful. They're so small they really don't take up much space.

On a personal note - I'm one month out (sleeved on August 18) and just began eating softer foods than aren't liquid or pureed. I had a Trader Joe's meatless Breakfast patty with about half a tablespoon of diced tomatoes and half a slice of low fat gouda for brunch on Saturday and became really ill afterwards. I didn't gobble it down, but I think I ate it too quickly, and that it was too rich. I'm still not certain if it was the food, or if it was due to my TOM which began that day, or something yucky I picked up but I had to take three sick days because of the severe stomach cramping and nausea. I couldn't leave the house and felt completely miserable. It's the only time I've been at all ill since the surgery. I'm definitely going to be mindful about how much and how fast I eat from here on out.